“Southern sports factories are typically run by endless layers of assholes. The management structure of these schools is like that dim sum dish, thousand layer cake, only here it’s thousand layer assholes.”

If I may quote myself. I was listing the certified Grade A sexist hypocrites (Art Briles, Ken Starr, Buddy Jones) who made possible ongoing events at Baylor University, America’s rapeabilliest campus. Now we need to add yet another layer to the cake: interim president David Garland.

A court filing this week reveals that the former interim president of Baylor University referred to some women who said they had been sexually assaulted as willing victims… [David] Garland also said in [an] email that he had heard a radio interview with an author who chronicled her alcoholism at college, the Waco Tribune-Herald reports. He wrote in the email that the interview “added another perspective for me of what is going on in the heads of some women who may seem willingly to make themselves victims.” … He then cited verses in the New Testament referring to God’s wrath on those who commit sexual sin.

Woe until thee Jezebels who seduceth our wide receivers into the very web of Satan! God will smite thee and all thy lawyers.

*****************

UD prefers the theology of Art Briles, who when told of multiple rape allegations by female students against multiple heavily recruited football players of his, said of one of the complainants: “Those are some bad dudes. Why was she around those guys?”

The Lord brought those guys to Baylor. Who knows why? The ways of the Lord are strange. We knew they were bad dudes but they were a gift from God.

Wheaton College’s New MA in Disaster Leadership Couldn’t Have Come …

at a better time.

Good Christian Men Rejoice!

Sing it.

Good Christian men rejoice
With heart and soul and voice!
Give ye heed to what we say
News! News!
Eight-page essay due today!
Tell us of the packing tape
Tell us of the anal rape
Play the game today!
Play the game today!

Good Christian men, rejoice
With heart and soul and voice
Now ye need not fear the law:
Peace! Peace!
All for one and one for all
Wheaton College hides your shame
So you can play His glorious game
You were born to play
You were born to play

********************

UD thanks Jay and dmf.

When the first three things that come to mind when people think “Yeshiva University” are junk bond status, Bernard Madoff, and …

Ezra Merkin, no one can be surprised that the school is in a ratings free fall. This blog has spent years detailing the damage that this school, with its conflict-of-interest-riddled trustees (a group that boasts such stellar characters as Ira Rennert and Zygi Wilf), and its greedy, morally clueless president, did to itself over the last ten years. You don’t get to brutalize a university the way this pack of rascals did (and some of the rascals are still there, rascaling around) without paying a very high price.

“[Paterno] was told of other similar claims as early as the 1970s.”

Wotta shocker.

Happy Valley’s cult of the Dear Leader will remain unconvinced that Jo Pa knew about Sandusky for thirty years, and spent all that time protecting him.

“You can get away with the most extraordinary offenses to morality and to truth in this country if you’ll just get yourself called Reverend.”

And, Christopher Hitchens might had added, you don’t even have to go that far. Dave Bliss, notorious head basketball coach at notorious Baylor University, has been hired by yet another Christian school.

He broke rule after rule at the college level, even dragging the reputation of a murdered player through the mud, but none of that seems to matter … What are the students at Calvary Chapel Christian School supposed to think about all this? You can break every rule in the book and become synonymous with disgrace in coaching, but as long as you say you love Jesus, none of it matters?

No. They’re supposed to think that you have to say you love Jesus PLUS be a great basketball coach and none of it matters.

UD anticipates that with each new Bliss scandal and firing he’ll be hired by a Christian school with a longer name. He’s up to three adjectives at the moment – Calvary Chapel Christian – but UD has noticed that the scummier the diploma mill (these places exist to provide fake high school graduation records for athletes so they can be admitted to jockshops like Baylor), the longer and more feverishly pious its name.

So Bliss’s next stop will be Consecrated Calvary Chapel Christian School. Then Celestial Consecrated Calvary Chapel Christian School. Then Chosen Celestial Consecrated Cavalry Christian School. Then Charismatic Chosen Celestial Consecrated Cavalry Christian School. Then Chaste Charismatic Chosen Celestial Consecrated Cavalry Christian School. Then Canaan Chaste Charismatic Chosen Celestial Consecrated Cavalry Christian School.

Guys: Have you ever dreamed of leading a woman around on a leash, the way they do in The Story of O?

As you know, Saudi Arabia has announced the launch of a massive new tourism initiative, and UD – whose first job out of Northwestern was copywriter at Kenyon and Eckhardt – has some advertising ideas.

Possible print ad copy, men-only, appears in this post’s headline.

****************

Overall concept and tagline, men and women:

Saudi Arabia: LIVE THE STORY OF O.

****************

Girls: “[F]emale travellers are warned they must meet their ‘sponsor’ on arrival into the country.” OOOH. Shiver me timbers…

Observers estimate 12.5 million American women lie somewhere on the Masochism Scale, with roughly one million women outright masochists. Saudi has something for all of them: Infantilization, restraints, imprisonment, degrading clothing.

***************

S and A — S and M: LIVE THE DREAM.


Step into the pages of Pauline Reage’s classic novel when you enter our magic kingdom. Revel in the freedom to take your bondage and discipline out of the bedroom and onto the ancient winding streets of our beckoning desert towns. You will never want to go home!

Something about Bjork on Mars, and Some Guy’s Frozen Nuts…?

UD‘s having trouble making sense of this story. Give her a moment.

*****************

And here’s the obligatory I AM STUNNED TO DISCOVER THAT A (choose one from Column A)

FOOTBALL COACH

BASKETBALL COACH

ATHLETIC DIRECTOR

is a super-sanctimonious-Christian fraud! You never see that combination at our universities! You never see a noisy pious moral scold who turns out to be a greedy horny cheating little shit!

******************

Hearken, ye sinners! O list, ye lost ones!

The Hugh Freeze saga at Ole Miss haveth everything. It haveth the alleged recruiting violations, the former player on the holy draft night of 2016 who telleth of the cash payments, the aggrieved former coach (Houston Nutt), the disciples from the NCAA Committee on Infractions, the lawyers, the escort service, the “misdial” to the escort service, the suggestion from the athletic director that perhaps the “misdial” was part of a “pattern.”

It haveth the mingling of the gods on the fields and the gods in the sky.

“I don’t stand over them, make them do it,” coach Freeze sayeth of his players and his religion to Kent Babb of The Washington Post in 2014. “Certainly they hopefully see that it’s important to me and maybe the way I live and the way these other coaches live. Maybe it attracts them to it.”

The Twitter feed of the man from Independence, Miss., doth lineth with his Bible.

Here we seeeth the juxtaposition that will never stop astounding, the one that has breathed through the whole story of this most American of games since Rutgers playeth Princeton in 1869 and the legend goes that a witnessing professor hollereth: “You men will come to no Christian end!”

Here, a grubby game (and deliciously so) intersects with a peacocky purity.

‘Far out man. I saw Zappa.’

Preliminary results from this Johns Hopkins experiment are beginning to come in.

Ge-

-VALT.

“This is about those who stand up and fight against Israel’s delegitimization on university campuses and at Capitol Hill,” he said. “You cannot delegitimize the majority of American Jews, then say, ‘Can you help us out here?’”

Too right, as UD‘s mother used to say.

But Israel has made its bed with the ultra orthodox. And now it’s got to sleep in it.

Hear O Israel: Dear Lord our fraud, our fraud is done.

Early morning criminal raids by state and federal authorities Monday sent tremors through Lakewood [New Jersey] as officials signaled that more arrests are impending in a massive investigation into welfare fraud.

In the last two days, hundreds of residents called township leaders asking how they can avoid arrest or get amnesty related to an alleged public-assistance fraud scheme that could stretch into the millions of dollars, according to one law enforcement with knowledge of the ongoing probes.

That source, who was not authorized to speak publicly, said that dozens have also called Ocean County Social Services in Toms River to cancel their public assistance or update their income information.

*****

Haredim: A word meaning Those who do not tremble at their own fraud.

******

“[T]he dominant culture of Lakewood.”

They need to update this …

Twitter page.

June 27: Our rabbi arrested for massive welfare fraud.

What a sweet, late in life victory for Renee Rabinowitz.

And of course since it’s part of the endless legal and moral battle against Israeli’s ultra-sexist ultra-orthodox, this story also stars UD‘s beloved Anat Hoffman, a woman who spends her life filing one successful lawsuit after another.

The suits are virtually all successful because it’s ultra-obvious that discrimination, physical assault, property destruction, and other shit Israel’s wild and crazy haredim routinely do in defense of their way of life is illegal. You just have to file a case against them and you’ll win.

Not that your victory will mean much. Do they pay financial penalties? UD doubts it. Do they change their ways? Well, if you denied the legitimacy of the Israeli state, would you obey directives from its courts?

*****************

El Al airlines, however, is another matter. El Al is not a medieval cult. El Al is a modern corporation which has been kissing the ass of the ultra-orthodox by humiliating the female passengers they refuse to sit next to.

Move it, lady! This guy finds your devil-stench disgusting and you must take your foul carcass away pronto or things will get ugly because he and his friends will stand in the aisle of the plane and refuse to move so we won’t be able to take off until you slink away like the guilty thing you are to whatever seat we can dig up for you..

And listen, hon. It’s really no big deal. It’s not really a humiliation at all. Think of it as like that adorable little genital nick Alan Dershowitz has been all excited about lately. Just an in-flight version of the ritual nick! Just a tickle! Just a very small sacrifice for womanhood and for the larger community!

***************

El Al! Is this the airline whose pilot ended a terrorist takeover of his plane by suddenly throwing it into an unbelievable dive that killed one of the attackers and knocked out the other? And now they can’t stand up to random obnoxious ultra-orthodox?

So 83-year-old Renee decided fuck that – After she was put through this humiliation, she got together with Hoffman and they sued El Al and of course Hoffman just racked up another win because the whole thing is so ultra-bloody-obvious.

************************

The real question now is how long it will be before El Al designates an entirely separate fleet of planes for use by the ultra-orthodox.

************************

It’s a victory over “the gender segregation that Israel has been battling for more than a decade — all of the attempts by the ultra-Orthodox community to push women out of the public sphere.”

Poor Sports

Islamic State Blows Up Mosul Mosque
Where it Declared ‘Caliphate’

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