Well, no one told me about her / The way she lied / Well, no one told me about her / How many people cried / But it’s too late to say you’re sorry / How would I know? / Why should I care? / Please don’t bother trying to find her / She’s not there

Plunging the future of the 2016 Presidential debates into doubt, Donald J. Trump said on Tuesday morning that he would not participate in the remaining two debates if Hillary Clinton is there.

Trump blasted the format of Monday night’s debate by claiming that the presence of Clinton was “specifically designed” to distract him from delivering his message to the American people.

“Every time I said something, she would say something back,” he said. “It was rigged.”

Well, let me tell you ’bout the way she looked
The way she acts and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool
Her eyes were clear and bright
But she’s not there

Well, no one told me about her
What could I do?
Well, no one told me about her
Though they all knew

Maybe. Who knows. One thing’s certain: No bulges in Trump’s clothing.

[Trump supporters] are accusing Hillary of carrying a concealed ‘communications’ device connected to an earpiece, which they suggest could have been used by the candidate to cheat during the debate. Their rationale? [A] photograph of a bulge that ran down the back of her pantsuit on the night of the debate.

Bold new leadership.

[Trump] can show up before an audience of 100 million without preparation …and talk about serious issues with no more sophistication than your crazy uncle.

“A stunning lack of human decency.”

“The deeply conservative Arizona Republic endorsed the Democratic nominee for president for the first time in its 126-year history on Tuesday,” [describing Donald Trump as a man] “with a stunning lack of human decency.”

Nicely tripping iambic pentameter in that phrase: A stunning lack of human decency. Pretty.

Perhaps this will be, for some, a moment of illumination:

But SOFT! what LIGHT through YONder WINdow BREAKS?

[Sniff Sniff.]

Trump, by the end of the night, was left complaining to reporters about alleged problems with his microphone, which he suggested may have been sabotaged. Top surrogate Rudy Giuliani told a reporter Trump should pull out of future debates if moderators didn’t agree to be more deferential.

[Sniff.]

Colin Jost ✔@ColinJost
Trump is sniffling because he’s allergic to the Constitution

The national…

fabric.

Old, Hacked, Added, Manipulated. Character Assassination, Political Correctness, the Mainstream Media, Racism.

Trump surrogate Mark Burns offers a long list of excuses to cover his long list of lies about himself.

Not only that. It won’t be the Taconic State Parkway anymore. It’ll be the …

TACOnic State Parkway.

The founder of Latinos for Trump on Thursday warned that if his candidate loses, America faces an uncertain future in which Mexican food is far too easily available.

“My culture is a dominant culture, and it’s imposing and it’s causing problems,” Marco Gutierrez said in an interview on MSNBC. “If you don’t do something about it, you’re gonna have taco trucks [on] every corner.”

******************

With several predominantly Latino neighborhoods, Phoenix is a city used to seeing taco trucks on the corner. In the wake of Gutierrez’s comments, Arizona Congressman Ruben Gallego decided to patronize one of them.

The Democrat posted a photo to his personal Twitter account of him ordering three carne asada tacos from his favorite taco truck for lunch Friday. The picture was accompanied by the tweet “about to assert my cultural dominance.” It has garnered hundreds of likes.

UD Can’t Wait for Trump’s Smokin’ Hot Insults on this One.

[George] Shultz [has signaled] that he [is] discussing issuing a joint endorsement of Hillary Clinton with Henry Kissinger.

***************************

Trump’s campaign staff should get to work on their tweets asap, since there’s speculation the men might make the announcement on Labor Day.

One source for some great Kissinger tweets would be Christopher Hitchens’ book, The Trial of Henry Kissinger. Example:

[Americans] can either persist in averting their gaze from the egregious impunity enjoyed by a notorious war criminal and lawbreaker, or they can become seized by the exalted standards to which they continually hold everyone else.

Don’t say it’s from Hitchens, of course; I don’t think Hitchens would, uh, be supporting Trump.

***************************

One danger of not citing the author, however, is that no one’s going to believe Trump knows the words egregious and impunity

Actually, now that I look at the thing, the rather lengthy sentence, and the well-deployed either/or formulation, are also deal breakers… Let’s see…

Kissinger: War criminal! Lawbreaker! Sad!

***************************

A second set of tweets could feature the advanced age of both men.

Kissinger! Shultz! Sharing a condo in Seizure World! Sad!

George and Henry sittin’ in a tree… IN SEIZURE WORLD. Sad!

There are many variants of these. You might mention Ronald Reagan. I leave it to the imagination of the Trump campaign.

Message: I Care.

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus said Sunday that his party’s nominee knows that he must inject a little “humanity” into his rhetoric if he hopes to win the presidency…

“…Donald Trump understands that with every position that is taken and as you get closer to the White House, a degree of humanity and decency is part of every decision that needs to be made… [He] wants to do the right thing and wants to take every position that he’s talking about and pepper it with decency, dignity and humanity.”

In every race that must be run
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap!
The job’s a game

And every task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree! It’s very clear to see that

A pinch of humanity helps the messaging go down
The messaging go down-wown
The messaging go down
A spoonful of decency helps the messaging go down
In a most delightful way!

********************

A cypher running to be prez
Cannot be bothered what he sez
While hurting people cuz he doesn’t care
But now his polls have got so bad
He’s had to add a tad, a crumb, a grain
To flavor his campaign — for…

A speck of humanity helps the messaging go down
The messaging do down-wown
The messaging go down
Just a hint of humanity helps the messaging down
In a most delightful way!

Narrow Path to the Presidency; Independent Path to the Presidency…

psychopath to the presidency.

Paul LePage

On a long and lonesome highway
East of Orono
You can listen to the gov’nor
Moanin’ out his tortured soul:

Don’t you say that I’m a racist
You cocksucking SOB.

No one’s done more for the black man
Than Donald Trump and me.

Don’t need no snot-nosed little runt sayin’ I’m a fool
Gonna blow your fuckin’ head off in a nice old-fashioned duel

****************

Here I am
On the phone again
There they are
Commie fags
Here I go
Fighting foes again
There I go
Paul Le Page

The Hologram Edge

A Vanity Fair writer assesses various scenarios that could tip the presidential race in favor of Donald Trump. Number Five:

5. CLINTON TURNS OUT TO BE A HOLOGRAM OF ONCE-LIVING CLINTON, À LA TUPAC AT COACHELLA
Projected odds of occurrence: below 0.01%
Disruptive power: medium

Clinton has not held any press conferences in a long time, and she normally seems programmed. But the odds of her being a hologram are still low, as she has repeatedly proven able to meet with donors this week. Also, it wouldn’t be a slam-dunk for Trump either way, because election law would come into play and Hillary’s hologram would have to be replaced by a flesh-and-blood candidate, something that might actually lower Trump’s chances.

“A large majority of Germans reject the burqa and the niqab. Eighty-one percent of respondents in a representative survey conducted by polling institute Infratest dimap are in favor of banning the Islamic veil, which covers women completely from head to toe, in some public places. More than half the Germans have an even more extreme view: 51 percent were in favor of banning the burqa entirely.”

So many full veiling bans have taken place – and will take place – in Europe that you can now discern at least one telling pattern in the process. Noise is made among political parties and leaders about introducing partial or full bans. IMMENSE numbers of opinion pieces appear in newspapers all over Europe, and in the United States, and in the Middle East. Almost all of these pieces oppose bans; the only difference among them involves the degree of anger and self-righteousness with which the author expresses her incredulity that anyone could fail to see the obvious degeneracy and threat to democracy such bans represent.

Next up are the national polls, which virtually always reveal that strong to overwhelming majorities in the country in question support a ban. Since taking seriously results like these is also a feature of democracy, and since disturbingly and very visually annihilated female minorities on your streets doesn’t, when you think about it, smack very powerfully of democracy at all, ban-opposers are in a bit of a fix. Always they write with the confidence that all decent-minded people perceive the evil of forcing women, via fines, not to be annihilated, and then it turns out that their confidence is badly misplaced.

*******************

If they are honest, they ponder the disconnect between their sense of the world and what the world really is. Are virtually all of their fellow French citizens vile Islamophobes? Has everybody turned into Marine Le Pen? And what the hell happened to the goddamn European Court of Human Rights? The world’s gone mad!

*******************

But it is now really the intellectual responsibility of people who defend a cultural status quo in which women are visually annihilated to examine with honesty and humility how it is that they came to be so out of step with the instinct of vast majorities in almost all of the European countries where the status of fully veiled women begins to become a matter of law.

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