‘In attacking Clinton’s use of a private email server while secretary of state, Trump flubbed a line in the teleprompter, saying it was “pre-medicated” instead of “premeditated” as was scripted.’

Quite the flub.

Trump so far merely exhibits mental confusion; little by little, he’s letting us in on why – perhaps – he’s confused.

“Donald Trump’s campaign is arguing that the Republican nominee would poll better than Hillary Clinton if those surveys accounted for ‘undercover’ Trump voters embarrassed to admit that they support him.”

My Secret Vote

(sing it with me)

Once I had a secret vote.
It needed utmost privacy.
The fact that I’m a masochist
Should stay unknown to all but me.

So I tell a little lie
When pollsters ask me what I’ll do:
“Oh, I’d never vote for Trump.
The man just makes me want to spew.”

*********************

I’d shout my secret from the highest hill!
Sadistic Donald Trump gives me a thrill!
But these words I cannot say
Until I’m in a booth on ballot day.

Debate Prep, Hill.

Clinton also provided insight into how she’s preparing to handle Donald Trump’s freewheeling, improvisational style in their upcoming general election debates.

“I am drawing on my experience in elementary school,” she said before imitating a boy pulling on a girl’s pigtails.

Valedictory

That time of year thou may’st in me behold
When orange hairs, or none, or few, do hang
Upon this brow which lately raged against the polls.
But now bare silent Tweets! where late my Twitter sang.
In me thou see’st the twilight of such day,
As after sunset fadeth in the west,
Which by-and-by black night doth take away,
Death’s second self, that seals up all in rest.
In me thou see’st the glowing of such ire
That on the ashes of my pride doth lie,
The reality-show whereon it must expire
Consumes that which it was nourish’d by.
This thou perceivest, which makes my spite more strong,
To love that well which I must leave ere long.

Leaving for New Post: Chief Advisor, Women’s Issues, Trump Administration

Ken Starr to Leave Baylor Law School Post

*****************

This latest news allows me to update Trump administration appointments/personnel:

Chief Advisor, Women’s Issues: KENNETH STARR
Inaugural Poet: FREDERICK SEIDEL
Treasury: MARTIN SHKRELI
Fitness Czar: RYAN LOCHTE
Czarina: HOPE SOLO
Office of Ethics: ISHMAEL ZAMORA
Health and Welfare: MIKE LEACH

Remorse for Intemperate Speech

I ranted to the knave and fool,
I acted the obscenest tool,
To transform the polls.
Fit audience I found, but Clinton rules
The voter rolls.

I sought my betters: though in each
Fine manners, liberal speech,
Turn hatred into sport.
Nothing said or done can reach
My sadistic heart.

From a penthouse have I come.
Great pride, great rooms,
Maimed me at the start.
I carry to my bronzéd tomb
A sadistic heart.

“FACG is a title they sell for a fee; in reality, it has no value.”

Donald Trump’s doctor confuses the American College of Gastroenterologists with Trump University.

A lot of people are saying that this confusion on his part (coupled with multiple verbal anomalies in his letter about Donald Trump’s fitness for the presidency) suggests Dr. Bornstein has serious medical issues which could put into question his official endorsement of the candidate’s physical condition.

In an apparent shift away from his Suck-Putin’s-Cock strategy, Trump has accepted the resignation of Paul Manafort.

Who knows if Trump’s new Don’t-Suck-Putin’s-Cock approach will work? Time will tell.

The Burqa in Germany: Getting There

Conservatives allied with Chancellor Angela Merkel are seeking a ban on Muslim women wearing full-face veils or burqas in schools and universities and while driving in Germany

Merkel herself has criticized the burqa as incompatible with integration into Germany.

The pedagogical absurdity of faceless people trying to teach faceless people makes schools the obvious first place for a ban (as does the equally obvious danger of people driving around with seriously impaired vision), so it’s no surprise that the German effort to get rid of the hideous burqa starts there.

***************

UD‘s thoughts on the burqa.

“NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.”

Donald Trump statues hit below the belt.

************

Bravo, Washington Post. Very delicately put.

Unlike monuments of most political figures in cities across the globe, the Trump statues are far from flattering. They’re oddly shaped, lack one key element of the male reproductive system and dramatically play down another.

Arizona’s Former Governor Josef Mengele has a Slip of the Tongue While Trying to Say “Hillary Clinton”

Former Arizona Governor Jan Brewer says she suffered a “stumble of the tongue” on Tuesday when she seemed to call Hillary Clinton a “lying killer” …

“People want a fighter. They’re tired of the lying killer, uh, Hillary Clinton and Bill Clintons of the world,” Brewer told [an interviewer].

When reached by phone by BuzzFeed News on Wednesday, Brewer said she just mispronounced Clinton’s name.

“I was trying to say Hillary Clinton,” Brewer said. “It was a stumble of the tongue.”

****************

Strange things happen when you’re blue.

PERE TRUBU: Act Three

(Act Two is here)

Characters

Loose Bannon
Manthefort
Miss Kissy
Pa Trubu
Secessions
Tense Rictus
Watch Their Tails


Location

A room in Trubu Tower.

Tense Rictus, Miss Kissy, Manthefort, Secessions, and Watch Their Tails seated at a splendid table. Excitedly talk over one another as they eat and drink.


Secessions:
A toast! To the latest poll! It has us up by twenty points in northern Idaho.

Manthefort, Miss Kissy: A toast! A toast! We’re killing her!

Watch Their Tails: It’s the beginning of the end for that epileptic.

Tense Rictus: I thought we were going with Alzheimer’s.

[Laughter. Shouts of Whatever! Okay!]

[A sudden hush.]

Tense Rictus: Here he comes.

[Enter Pa Trubu with Loose Bannon. The men at the table eye Bannon warily.]

Tense Rictus: Uh, hi, Bannon. What brings you by this lovely afternoon?

Pa Trubu: Gentlemen, I give you my new campaign manager. Manthefort, give Bannon your seat.

[Manthefort’s face flushes. He abandons his seat.]

Manthefort: So where do I sit now?

Pa Trubu: How about… KIEV?

[All laugh except for Manthefort.]

Pa Trubu: My friends, change as we know is a part of life, it’s a part of life, change, change, part of life, and although we’re doing great in Hayden we’re doing unbelievable in Hayden, we’re winning so much in Hayden they’re begging us to do less winning, there’s always room for improvement. Loose Bannon is the attack dog we need at this point in the election cycle.

Loose Bannon [on all fours]: Rrrrrrfff! Rrrrrrrffff!

Pa Trubu: Manthefort – you and Miss Kissy go to the wine cellar and get us another bottle. Tense Rictus, Secessions – walk my dog. [All four leave.] So – Loose Bannon, Watch Their Tails – it’s time for the three of us to get to work.

“I understand one thing: mathematics. And the application of mathematics to the real world.”

Well then. You must be in one hell of a sour mood.

A University Diaries Exclusive: Trump Releases his Taxes!

I know – it’s cheap to use the exclamation mark, but with this sort of scoop…

I have in my hand the actual IRS document of Donald J. Trump’s returns (background to the controversy here). I reproduce it below.

To Whom My Concern:

I have been the personal [tax] physician of Mr. Donald J. Trump since 1980. His previous [tax] physician was my father, Dr. Jacob Bornstein. Over the past 39 years, I am pleased to report that Mr. Trump has had no significant [tax] problems. Mr. Trump has had a recent [tax] examination that showed only positive results. Actually, all of his results were astonishingly excellent.

If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest [taxpayer] [well, haha, not really taxpayer] ever elected to the presidency.

Yale Republicans Getting into …

serious People’s Front of Judea Territory.

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