Not only did he kill people for personal gain. He didn’t even stay for the sit-down dinner.

Fentanyl-pusher Insys Corporation rigged up pretend dinners where their top-prescribing docs gave pretend talks:

Insys funneled … illicit payments to the doctors through a sham “speakers bureau,” in which the doctors were paid for purportedly giving educational presentations about the drug that, in many cases, were mere social gatherings at high-end Manhattan restaurants.

One of the defendants … sometimes did not even stay for a meal at the programs where he was the featured speaker, instead ordering food from the restaurant and leaving with it, according to the indictment.

Before one program in 2014, the indictment added, [he] wrote to an Insys sales representative, asking, “Is dinner take out or we expecting peeps?”


What percentage of fentanyl prescriptions – a drug intended for late-stage cancer pain – comes from oncologists?

One. One percent.

You can never be too rich or too high.

Former MLB pitcher Esteban Loaiza was arrested in San Diego on Friday on three drug-related felony charges, including possession of more than 44 pounds of cocaine and/or heroin.

… According to Baseball Reference, Loaiza made more than $43.7 million over his career.

Ramming it Home.

If you hadn’t yet gotten the message about American football and postmodern capitalism, here’s your baby.

It’s a win/win.


Here’s the antidote. Ram tough. Watch the whole thing, from a guy who routinely gets money penalties for hits.

When a capitalist keeps enriching himself and enriching himself and enriching himself…

… we might feel a little disgusted by his greed and ostentation, but if the free market, plus a little, you know, is going to reward Steve Cohen with a $13 billion dollar personal fortune, there’s really not much we can say.

University presidents aren’t rapacious free market capitalists; they’re people who run non-profits. When they act like Steve Cohen, it attracts attention. Negative attention.

So for the many years Shirley Ann Jackson has been Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute’s president, her unstoppably greedy ways have attracted consistently negative attention. To put the matter as bluntly as possible: She. Loves. Money. Indeed one might conjure images of her in her office counting her many-millioned compensation, but she’s on so many corporate boards (lotsa funny money there) she’s rarely around.

Years and years of grandiose, autocratic, institution-destroying behavior on Jackson’s part have certainly generated high-profile anger among faculty and students, and each protest and no-confidence vote duly gets covered in the local press; but nothing happens, and Jackson keeps raking it in. Her compensation four years ago was at least seven million; UD’s figuring with raises and continued multiple board ass-coolings, she’s up around ten mill by now.

RPI’s financial picture is now so bleak that everyone’s again up in arms; but this time they are informed that they are sexists and racists for complaining, so that will shut them up.

Jackson’s no spring chicken, by the way; at 71, she’s got to be ready for retirement soon. UD assumes RPI is bracing itself for one last, long, hard pull at the money tap before she goes away.

UD thought the wife of the treasury secretary had cornered the market on…

… contempt for the lower orders while wielding luxury brands, but the ever-classy culture of the NFL has birthed Jacqueline Kent Cooke, much-cherished daughter of Redskins owner and “billionaire bully” Jack Kent Cooke.

Jacqueline’s years of psychotherapy (her mother started her on it when she was seven) seem to have helped her overcome any repressions she may have harbored about stealing, drinking, and driving. In 2008, a police officer

followed Cooke and her friend after they left [a] restaurant without paying around 5:15 a.m.

The police report said the officer saw Cooke’s keys to her BMW 325i fall out of her purse when she went back inside the restaurant to pay the bill, though she denied the car was hers.

The officer advised her to take a cab home, police said.

Police said Cooke pulled up her skirt to moon the officer, and then gave him the middle finger, before eventually getting into the BMW and starting the engine.

She was booked for a DUI, and, once in the police station, elaborated on the vileness of the lower orders, here embodied by the police.

In the ten years that have elapsed she has added anti-semitism and assault to the mix.

Cooke, 29, allegedly whacked Matthew Haberkorn, 52, outside the Upper East Side restaurant Caravaggio [yesterday] and left him with a bloody gash on his head …

Haberkorn [who – poor Jacqueline – is a high-profile personal injury lawyer] said he had just finished dining with his wife, mom and four daughters when the socialite started the encounter by hurling the slur at his mom on the way out of the eatery.

“I went to the bathroom as we were leaving,” Haberkorn told The Post. “She made a comment to my mother, ‘Hurry up, you Jew,’ as she was getting her jacket.”

When Haberkorn confronted the woman about the comment, that’s when she unleashed her bag attack.

Here’s the thing, though:

The purse appeared to be a Lulu Guinness Women Chloe Mirror Perspex Clutch, which normally costs more than $400.


And yes, of course it was all filmed. By one of Haberkorn’s daughters.


She’s in court. It’s being investigated as a hate crime.

Meanwhile, Deadspin, one of UD’s favorite websites, doesn’t disappoint in the comments department.

“Ahhh the Upper East Side. Finally, a place where I can feel comfortable voicing my anti-semitic views!”


Another good one, in Tablet magazine:

[T]his is why we stay on the Upper West Side, where the altercations are all among us Jews and usually involve the deli line at Zabar’s or the narrow aisles at Fairway.


Mel Gibson chimes in.

She forgot to mention the international relations angle.

The Kitsch of the Con

Conn, who started his law practice in a trailer in 1993, had portrayed himself as “Mr. Social Security.” He fueled that persona with outlandish TV commercials and small-scale replicas of the Statue of Liberty and the Lincoln Memorial at his office in eastern Kentucky.

Yes, his name’s even Conn.


I could have had a

… malaria vaccine!

But I decided to take my 450 million dollars and buy a small poor quality Leonardo of uncertain provenance and stick it in a storage facility.


How quaint.

[T]he present commercialisation of the art world, at its top end, is a cultural obscenity. When you have the super-rich paying $104m for an immature Rose Period Picasso – close to the GNP of some Caribbean or African states – something is very rotten. Such gestures do no honour to art: they debase it by making the desire for it pathological. As Picasso’s biographer John Richardson said to a reporter on that night of embarrassment at Sotheby’s, no painting is worth a hundred million dollars.

Robert Hughes, 2004.

Sing …


I own three Land Rovers, wear Place Vendome suits
I get all me money from Russkies and Ukes
It’s laundered in Cyprus and also Seychelle
But now I’m indicted, it’s all gone to hell

And it’s no nay never
No nay never no more
Will I overlook FARA
No never no more

Scathing Interview on National Public Radio’s Show, 1A, with the Head of the Southern Poverty Law Center…

… a once-fine organization that lately has a curiously self-serving tendency to label lots of groups and people – people like Ayan Hirsi Ali – haters.

You can’t fault the organization for whipping up terror at the thought of women like AHA having a voice. I mean.

“It was a part-time job with an average hourly wage of $1,538.”

You can’t say the U of Smell, which provides its athletes with prostitutes in the comfort of their own dorm, stints when it comes to rewarding its currently-in-hiding president. Ex-president.

He and his cronies got their hands on the big-goody-levers at the university (no one to stop them – it’s Kentucky!) and they began to pull and pull and pull til they couldn’t pull no more! And then, in the immortal words of their great literary predecessor, they pulled themselves up to their magnificent height and announced:

And now I shall fuck off.

Goodbye, Monsieur Ubu! It was fun while it lasted! Enjoy your goodies!

‘IRS lawyers flagged Ross and his partners as engaging in a “tax avoidance scheme lacking in economic substance … to the benefit of Mr. Ross and his associates at Related Companies.”’

Sing it.


To the benefit of Mr. Ross
There will be a tax write-off
Of massive size

Michigan will stand and cheer
Its charitable buccaneer
What a prize!

From nothing much to thirty mill
A splendid haul
Is guaranteed for all

But of course
Fed’ral courts
Are not as enthralled


The celebrated Katz/Levine
Will engineer the money scheme
What a scene!

The IRS and auditors
Will look away and gently purr.
Don’t be late!

Messrs. K and L. assure the public
Their deduction will be second to none

But of course
Federal courts
Are having less fun


The celebrated tax judge James
Unentertained by fiscal games
Has ruled against

Appeal begins without delay
When Mr. R. performs his tricks another day
And Mr. R. will demonstrate
The many clever ways to calculate

And tonight Mr. R. is topping our bill!

On the Persistences of Libraries

A glass-walled, high-ceiling library will take up part of the first floor, but the developer says not to expect to find books in the room. ‘Nobody really reads books. So I’m just going to fill the shelves with white books, for looks.’

In the Heart of the Heart of the Country

A fraud trial opened Tuesday for a Utah businessman … charged with running a $100 million Ponzi scheme that prosecutors say drained people’s home equity, life savings and retirement funds.

Self-proclaimed “Latter-day Capitalist” Rick Koerber is charged with 18 federal counts including money laundering and securities fraud…

Koerber was once a larger-than-life figure in a cowboy hat offering $2,000 real estate seminars and hosting a radio show about American principles.

He spent lavishly on a mansion and luxury cars, once telling a story on his program about buying a Ferrari so he didn’t have to wait for service on his Maserati. When a radio caller questioned whether that was in accord with Christian teachings, he answered: “God is a capitalist, my friend.”

… [Koerber’s] lawyer … was wrestled to the ground in an Oregon courtroom after successfully representing Ammon Bundy in the occupation of a national wildlife refuge.

“The court heard of the building and refurbishing of luxury villas, the acquisition of expensive cars such as a Ferrari, holidays on exotic locations and so on – paid from university funds.”

When it comes to university presidents looting their schools, America lags well behind Greece, where the chancellor of Pandio University set the standard by leading (he was only found guilty of failing to note the illegal removal of ten million dollars of university funds, but he seems to have personally benefited from said removal) an extensive conspiracy of robber-administrators. The Greek state gave the school money; the school’s leadership took the money – that seems to have been the straightforward approach – and bought the stuff listed in this post’s headline.

Here in the States, the business of leaders draining millions and billions of university funds is more subtle, more complicated. President Lawrence Summers’ mad insane interest rate speculation cost Harvard one billion dollars but I mean … you know … he meant well. Yeshiva University’s trustees no doubt thought they were enriching the school as much as themselves by their extensive conflicts of interest coupled with avid investments in pieces of work like fellow trustee Bernie Madoff. In the event, they cost the school $1.3 billion.

Not that we don’t boast a few Greek-style university presidents. Karen Pletz, while president of Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences, allegedly paid for her Lexus convertible and a series of amazing foreign trips by the simple expedient of removing what these things cost from the university’s reserves and placing those sums in her private account.


James Ramsey, now routinely described as the disgraced ex-president of the University of Louisville, stands somewhere between high-minded removalists like Summers and flat-out Ferrari larcenists. UL let him, over the years, grow to a big strapping tyrant with his fingers all over every money source available at this public institution in one of America’s poorest states.

I say let him, but as Pandio and other examples suggest, it takes a village to pillage. Ramsey surrounded himself with what one retired UL professor, reviewing the school’s sordid history, calls fellow pirates – people who took as much pleasure in pillaging as he, and who of course had no cause to expose his piratical deeds.

Dennis Menezes, who spent almost forty years at the U of Smell, takes a sentimental journey through some highlights:

Robert Felner, the former education who ended up doing jail time for misappropriating millions of dollars; Alisha Ward siphoning of hundreds of thousands of dollars from U of L’s Equine Industry Program; “Sweetheart contracts” at the College of Business, where administrators continued to receive their significantly higher salaries even after stepping down from their administrative positions, a practice rarely seen at other universities; the disappearance of hundreds of thousands of dollars stolen by Perry Chadwyck Vaughn at the School of Medicine…

At some point the leadership of a university gets so notoriously filthy that career criminals like Felner make a point of applying to work there, thus amplifying the pirate-load. I mean to say that when Menezes tries to puzzle out what makes a university a criminal enterprise, he fails to land on the obvious: Once your university is known to tolerate – nay, encourage – piracy, pirates from all over the world get on board.

The journey to just awful is smoothed by other campus assets, in particular — natch — sports. Let me suggest how this probably works at places like U of L, where, you recall, an entire sports dorm was transformed into a whorehouse for the use of recruits and their fathers. The pattern at sex-crime-crazed places like Penn State, Baylor, and Louisville is for the president to be invisible while the AD, the actual president of the school, does whatever the fuck he and his massive program like. At criminal enterprises like U of L, a president like Ramsey actively takes advantage, let’s say, of all the big scandalous sports noise in the foreground to quietly do his removalist thing.

More than that, enormous sports programs tend to bring quite a few truly scummy and twisted people to a campus and reward those people with enormous salaries and enormous respect (if they win games). Over time the powerful and often scummy sports contingent defines the ethos of the whole university, as in: Jerry Sandusky was EMERITUS PROFESSOR Sandusky at Penn State, I’ll have you know. UD attended a Knight Commission meeting in DC where a coach at a local university stood up and insisted that athletic staff at American universities should have professor status. “They’re educators as much as anyone else. It’s elitist to think otherwise.” So athletics, at many universities including Louisville, certainly does its bit to vulgarize and corrupt everyone, making it much easier for already sketchy people like Ramsey to assume they’re living in a sleaze-friendly world.

UD ain’t saying you must have a big sports program for endemic corruption, but it sure doesn’t hurt.

Anyway. This post is long enough. We’ll be following U of L as they try to decide whether it’s worth suing Ramsey and his pirate crew to get back some of the many millions they removed. We’ll also follow U of L’s difficult effort to find a new president. Would you want to preside over a school suing your predecessor for millions of dollars? Hell, the thing could even end up in criminal court.


Sing it.

Louise said Louise was not half bad
It was written in her self-published screed
And she would act in tv shows
And sometimes she would show a little greed

Louise flashed her Valentinos
Bragged about her big Hermes scarf
Taxpayers read her many postings
They said Louise, you make me barf

Well everybody thought it kind of sad
When Louise closed down her Instagram
Marie Antoinette where did you go?
All America’s become your biggest fan.

Louise flew off on the fed’s plane
Somewhere to the south I heard them say
Too bad it ended so ugly,
Too bad it had to be this way
But the wind is blowing cold tonight
Good night Louise, good night

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