AH! PERFIDO!

I know one is supposed to be anguished and perplexed; but when you’re a veteran hoax-lover like UD, there’s such a merry, almost over-full, feast in the Samuragochi saga. Pardon me for laughing.

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Okay, some good article titles are beginning to appear… Ode To Fraud is good… I have one (she said, blushing becomingly):

Die Fraud Mit Schatten

Ja, ja, it’s extremely convoluted, and you have to be extremely cultured to get it…

Okay, here.

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An earlier musical hoax.

‘The commission imposed a $46.5 million judgment on the company, which sold $364 million of Sensa in the United States from 2008 to 2012. But the company will remit little more than half the settlement amount “due to their inability to pay,” officials said.’

Rush University medical center has on its faculty Alan Hirsch, creator of a magic powder of interest to the Federal Trade Commission.

Madoff, Merkin, Wilf, Rennert…

… To the rogue’s gallery that runs and has run Yeshiva University, we must add Julius Berman, who continues to hold a place of honor on one of that farcically scandal-ridden university’s boards of trustees. Berman’s chair emeritus of the all-boys board of Yeshiva’s seminary. And like several of his amazing Yeshiva compatriots, he sure does know how to get into trouble.

From an opinion piece in the New York Times.

[Susan Fuhrman, head of Teachers College Columbia University,] finds the birth of alternative teacher schools “upsetting.” “I worry about cutting that kind of preparation off from the scholarship and from emerging research” that a university offers, she said. “It can sound like I feel threatened. I don’t. But it just worries me as a trend.”

There are 3.3 million public school teachers in America, and they probably can’t all be trained by start-ups. Raising up the standards of our university programs should be an urgent priority. But one reason for the widespread mediocrity is that universities have had a cozy, lucrative monopoly. It’s about time the leaders of our education schools did feel threatened.

This blog has for years followed the scandal of America’s schools of education. Their notorious mediocrity continues to generate alternative forms of preparation for the profession.

[U]niversities have proved largely immutable. Educators, including some inside these institutions, say universities have treated education programs as “cash cows.” The schools see no incentive to change because they have plenty of applicants willing to pay full tuition, the programs are relatively cheap to run, and they are accountable to no one except accrediting agencies run by, you guessed it, education schools. It’s a contented cartel.

What do you have to do to be removed from the faculty of…

Upstate Medical University?

They’ve even placed him in an “undisclosed off-campus” location!

Another Oggsford Man Bites the Dust.

As in that scene in The Great Gatsby when Wolfsheim explains to Nick -

“He’s an Oggsford man.”

“Oh!”

“He went to Oggsford College in England. You know Oggsford College?”

“I’ve heard of it.”

“It’s one of the most famous colleges in the world.”

- so today another Oggsford man is unmasked as a pretender.

[T]op barrister Dennis O’Riordan … was this week suspended for having claimed to have two first-class degrees and a doctorate from Oxford and a master’s from Harvard

Unlike Gatsby, O’Riordan really piled it on – two from Oxford, and a Harvard cherry on top. I guess he’s taking into account inflation since 1925…

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UD thanks Jon.

Mr Stiffmeister penetrates Metalurgia International.

He is Reference 19 in “Evaluation of Transformative Hermeneutic Heuristics etc. etc.” – an astonishing contribution to the field.

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UD thanks Eric.

“It’s amazing how much money CMU students have to pay in tuition and fees to cover the huge deficits in our athletic department.”

Readers who have followed my coverage of hapless Central Michigan University will be unsurprised by this headline in the school’s newspaper:

OTHER STATE UNIVERSITIES ARE FLOURISHING; WHAT’S WRONG WITH US?

(My headline is from the article’s comment thread.)

It’s not just those huge athletic deficits – the product of years of all-American asininity about the glories of football… oh, here’s another post about the glories of CMU football… It’s also about a truly pathetic board of trustees… a pass-the-buck president… And a general no-one’s-home aspect to the place. Of course students are beginning to notice.

The Governor Can’t Make Southern University Disappear…

… but its students can.

The governor of Louisiana thought he’d figured out how to rid the state of Southern University, a total money-pit bearing no resemblance to a university. He was going to merge it with a better university. But that doesn’t seem to be happening.

In 2001, Southern had a 5% graduation rate. That rate is now 8%.

As the governor tries to do something about this scandal, Southern devolves into farce, the latest act of which involves a fired professor who just kept teaching and being paid because no one noticed he was still there.

He was fired as part of an emergency two years ago, when

enrollment declines and state budget cuts prompted Southern to declare a financial emergency, called exigency — in this case, a 20-month process that allowed the university leeway to cut academic programs and lay off tenured faculty.

Those enrollment declines are going to be the only thing that will eventually be able to shut Southern down. It’s fun to be in the audience for the last acts of a farce, but no one wants to be onstage. When no one goes to your school, you have to stop existing.

Or do you? Maybe Southern can figure out a way to keep going. Maybe administrators can designate one another professors and set up classes for themselves.

Oklahoma State University: Liars, Junkies, and Flunkies

Next up, on the Sports Illustrated hit parade:

Around 2007, Joel Tudman, an [OSU] assistant strength-and-conditioning coach who is also the team’s chaplain and carries the title of Life Issue/Social Development Counselor for the football program — a mentoring position that has become more common within athletic departments — was put in charge of the drug counseling program for football. Tudman is also founder of Net Church, which he started in 2006. The congregation has grown quickly, and Sunday-night services were moved from Bennett Chapel to a student union auditorium, where Tudman’s sermons are delivered to an audience that often includes 40 or more football players.

Tudman, however, has no formal training in drug counseling. While Tudman’s bio on the athletic department website indicated that he had received a “double masters in health and counseling” from Texas A&M-Commerce, he in fact has only a single master’s degree, in Health, Kinesiology and Sports Studies. (Tudman’s bio on the Net Church website also erroneously stated that he had master’s degrees in Health Promotions and Counseling. After Tudman was interviewed by SI the bio was corrected.) His Oklahoma State bio said that he was twice honored by the Lone Star Conference as a running back and was a “3 time All-American sprinter.” In fact, that conference recognized him once (honorable mention in 2003) and he was an All-America sprinter only in 2004. (After SI began investigating Tudman’s background, the school pulled his bio from its website.)

Tudman says because he took courses in health and counseling while at Texas A&M-Commerce he “thought it was a double masters.” He produced a transcript that showed he completed five counseling courses, but none of them dealt with substance abuse and he never enrolled in the two courses Texas A&M-Commerce offered in that area. Tudman concedes that his athletic accomplishments were also embellished. “That’s [a mistake] on my part,” he says. “I take full responsibility.”

… (Tudman remains unlicensed to treat drug users.)

When asked about Tudman’s qualifications and background, [OSU] athletic director Holder said, “I didn’t look at Joel’s résumé” …

What Holder looked at was whether Tudman was a sufficiently pathetic blowhard to be controlled by Holder. Answer: Yes.

UD always wondered what amazing tricks one learns at those high-priced seminars.

The school also paid $6,900 to send an administrator to a week-long course at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government; 15 months later, the employee took unpaid leave and then retired, the report said.

“That is a terrible lesson for this historic, important university to impart. But there it is.”

The Jewish Daily Forward, which broke the Yeshiva University sex abuse story, is rightly disgusted by that school’s paltry response to the absolutely damning independent report about decades of disgusting behavior by that university’s rabbis and administrators.

Yeshiva’s punishment is – however much that institution tries to avoid it – inescapable. With fewer and fewer people applying to the school, and with its credit rating in the toilet, Yeshiva is certainly going to remain historic; but it will, in not too long a time, cease to be at all important. Between Madoff and Macy, it has sealed its fate. No smart, self-respecting person wants to go there.

Donald Trump, the Miley Cyrus of University Leaders…

has responded to the lawsuit against Trump University…

Meanwhile, David Halperin points out that TU is just one of many for-profit schools for scandal in the United States.

While none of the major predatory for-profit college companies — University of Phoenix, EDMC, Corinthian, Kaplan, CEC, etc. — have a frontman as publicly odious as Donald Trump, their abuses and harms go much deeper than those of Trump University.

That’s because they’ve entrapped far more people, and because our taxes continue to pay for them.

Farewell the neighing steed and the shrill Trump.

New York’s attorney general sued Donald Trump for $40 million Saturday, saying the real estate mogul helped run a phony “Trump University” that promised to make students rich but instead steered them into expensive and mostly useless seminars, and even failed to deliver promised apprenticeships.

Dongguk takes it on the Shin.

Korea’s Dongguk University keeps suing and suing Yale, trying to get them to give it fifty million dollars because of an administrative mistake relative to the amazingly, comprehensively corrupt Shin Jeong-ah.

Their latest appeal has failed – since in order to prove defamation you need to prove malice – and it looks as though instead of enriching itself by tens of millions it has seriously impoverished itself through court costs in a case about faked credentials that should never have been filed.

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UD thanks Ruth.

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