What do you have to do to be removed from the faculty of…

Upstate Medical University?

They’ve even placed him in an “undisclosed off-campus” location!

Another Oggsford Man Bites the Dust.

As in that scene in The Great Gatsby when Wolfsheim explains to Nick –

“He’s an Oggsford man.”

“Oh!”

“He went to Oggsford College in England. You know Oggsford College?”

“I’ve heard of it.”

“It’s one of the most famous colleges in the world.”

– so today another Oggsford man is unmasked as a pretender.

[T]op barrister Dennis O’Riordan … was this week suspended for having claimed to have two first-class degrees and a doctorate from Oxford and a master’s from Harvard

Unlike Gatsby, O’Riordan really piled it on – two from Oxford, and a Harvard cherry on top. I guess he’s taking into account inflation since 1925…

****************

UD thanks Jon.

Mr Stiffmeister penetrates Metalurgia International.

He is Reference 19 in “Evaluation of Transformative Hermeneutic Heuristics etc. etc.” – an astonishing contribution to the field.

***************

UD thanks Eric.

“It’s amazing how much money CMU students have to pay in tuition and fees to cover the huge deficits in our athletic department.”

Readers who have followed my coverage of hapless Central Michigan University will be unsurprised by this headline in the school’s newspaper:

OTHER STATE UNIVERSITIES ARE FLOURISHING; WHAT’S WRONG WITH US?

(My headline is from the article’s comment thread.)

It’s not just those huge athletic deficits – the product of years of all-American asininity about the glories of football… oh, here’s another post about the glories of CMU football… It’s also about a truly pathetic board of trustees… a pass-the-buck president… And a general no-one’s-home aspect to the place. Of course students are beginning to notice.

The Governor Can’t Make Southern University Disappear…

… but its students can.

The governor of Louisiana thought he’d figured out how to rid the state of Southern University, a total money-pit bearing no resemblance to a university. He was going to merge it with a better university. But that doesn’t seem to be happening.

In 2001, Southern had a 5% graduation rate. That rate is now 8%.

As the governor tries to do something about this scandal, Southern devolves into farce, the latest act of which involves a fired professor who just kept teaching and being paid because no one noticed he was still there.

He was fired as part of an emergency two years ago, when

enrollment declines and state budget cuts prompted Southern to declare a financial emergency, called exigency — in this case, a 20-month process that allowed the university leeway to cut academic programs and lay off tenured faculty.

Those enrollment declines are going to be the only thing that will eventually be able to shut Southern down. It’s fun to be in the audience for the last acts of a farce, but no one wants to be onstage. When no one goes to your school, you have to stop existing.

Or do you? Maybe Southern can figure out a way to keep going. Maybe administrators can designate one another professors and set up classes for themselves.

Oklahoma State University: Liars, Junkies, and Flunkies

Next up, on the Sports Illustrated hit parade:

Around 2007, Joel Tudman, an [OSU] assistant strength-and-conditioning coach who is also the team’s chaplain and carries the title of Life Issue/Social Development Counselor for the football program — a mentoring position that has become more common within athletic departments — was put in charge of the drug counseling program for football. Tudman is also founder of Net Church, which he started in 2006. The congregation has grown quickly, and Sunday-night services were moved from Bennett Chapel to a student union auditorium, where Tudman’s sermons are delivered to an audience that often includes 40 or more football players.

Tudman, however, has no formal training in drug counseling. While Tudman’s bio on the athletic department website indicated that he had received a “double masters in health and counseling” from Texas A&M-Commerce, he in fact has only a single master’s degree, in Health, Kinesiology and Sports Studies. (Tudman’s bio on the Net Church website also erroneously stated that he had master’s degrees in Health Promotions and Counseling. After Tudman was interviewed by SI the bio was corrected.) His Oklahoma State bio said that he was twice honored by the Lone Star Conference as a running back and was a “3 time All-American sprinter.” In fact, that conference recognized him once (honorable mention in 2003) and he was an All-America sprinter only in 2004. (After SI began investigating Tudman’s background, the school pulled his bio from its website.)

Tudman says because he took courses in health and counseling while at Texas A&M-Commerce he “thought it was a double masters.” He produced a transcript that showed he completed five counseling courses, but none of them dealt with substance abuse and he never enrolled in the two courses Texas A&M-Commerce offered in that area. Tudman concedes that his athletic accomplishments were also embellished. “That’s [a mistake] on my part,” he says. “I take full responsibility.”

… (Tudman remains unlicensed to treat drug users.)

When asked about Tudman’s qualifications and background, [OSU] athletic director Holder said, “I didn’t look at Joel’s résumé” …

What Holder looked at was whether Tudman was a sufficiently pathetic blowhard to be controlled by Holder. Answer: Yes.

UD always wondered what amazing tricks one learns at those high-priced seminars.

The school also paid $6,900 to send an administrator to a week-long course at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government; 15 months later, the employee took unpaid leave and then retired, the report said.

“That is a terrible lesson for this historic, important university to impart. But there it is.”

The Jewish Daily Forward, which broke the Yeshiva University sex abuse story, is rightly disgusted by that school’s paltry response to the absolutely damning independent report about decades of disgusting behavior by that university’s rabbis and administrators.

Yeshiva’s punishment is – however much that institution tries to avoid it – inescapable. With fewer and fewer people applying to the school, and with its credit rating in the toilet, Yeshiva is certainly going to remain historic; but it will, in not too long a time, cease to be at all important. Between Madoff and Macy, it has sealed its fate. No smart, self-respecting person wants to go there.

Donald Trump, the Miley Cyrus of University Leaders…

has responded to the lawsuit against Trump University…

Meanwhile, David Halperin points out that TU is just one of many for-profit schools for scandal in the United States.

While none of the major predatory for-profit college companies — University of Phoenix, EDMC, Corinthian, Kaplan, CEC, etc. — have a frontman as publicly odious as Donald Trump, their abuses and harms go much deeper than those of Trump University.

That’s because they’ve entrapped far more people, and because our taxes continue to pay for them.

Farewell the neighing steed and the shrill Trump.

New York’s attorney general sued Donald Trump for $40 million Saturday, saying the real estate mogul helped run a phony “Trump University” that promised to make students rich but instead steered them into expensive and mostly useless seminars, and even failed to deliver promised apprenticeships.

Dongguk takes it on the Shin.

Korea’s Dongguk University keeps suing and suing Yale, trying to get them to give it fifty million dollars because of an administrative mistake relative to the amazingly, comprehensively corrupt Shin Jeong-ah.

Their latest appeal has failed – since in order to prove defamation you need to prove malice – and it looks as though instead of enriching itself by tens of millions it has seriously impoverished itself through court costs in a case about faked credentials that should never have been filed.

**********

UD thanks Ruth.

Two former professors who are suing the for-profit Phoenix School of Law claim that administrators “propos[ed] curriculum changes that would make it more difficult for students to transfer to another law school and retain their credits, a change that …

Dean Shirley Mays allegedly described as ‘building a better mousetrap.'”

Wow. If true, Dean Mays certainly has a way with words.

“De Domenico dreamed of writing [a] science-based novel.”

She’s got the fiction part down.

Ovidius!

Ovidius Ovidius
With rector insidious
Ovidius, Constanta campus!

Zero Dark Thirty.

Er, make that 24.

And, as law schools across the country begin to enjoy the synergy of the ABA’s policy of accrediting anything that moves, and the dramatic shrinkage of the job market, there’s this from the Charleston School of Law (famed for the otter tank pissing incident):

Graduates of the Charleston School of Law are so alarmed by the possible sale of the school to InfiLaw System that they are considering ways to stop it.

Current students grew more outraged Friday, when they couldn’t get answers to their questions on the school’s future from its leaders.

The law school released a statement Thursday evening, which said it had entered into a management services agreement with InfiLaw System, a group that owns three other for-profit law schools.

Investors are cashing in and letting the place go diploma mill and they don’t want to talk about it.

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