Eating People is Wrong.

So is walking around town seeking to insert your cock in randomly encountered women. There are even legal problems with these behaviors.

Three years ago, a member of the Stanford University swimming team sauntered about campus seeking said insertion, and was well on his way (“he was caught by two Swedish graduate students making thrusting motions on top of a half-naked, intoxicated, unconscious woman”) when things went awry and he went before a judge.

The judge, Aaron “Boys Will Be Boys” Persky — er, make that former Judge Persky — gave him three months in jail (well, six; but he only served three), but the swimmer wants the sentence overturned since he din mean nothin by it and only after all wanted “outercourse,” not intercourse.

The appellate court was unconvinced. UD can’t wait to listen to the Supreme Court tussle over outer v. intercourse…

How to mark Franz Kafka’s birthday?

With his greatest legacy.

Southern Impoverished Law Center…

… learns the hard way that sliming good people for fun and profit can really cost you.

SPLC Pays $3.3 Million Settlement to Counter-Extremism Group It Called ‘Anti-Muslim’

The Southern Poverty Law Center, which monitors hate groups, has apologized for including the Quilliam Foundation, a counter-extremism group, and its founder, Maajid Nawaz, in its Field Guide to Anti-Muslim Extremists.

Background here.

Royally Screwed

Even in flamboyantly corrupt Spain, justice occasionally gets done.

Giuliani: “I’m DEFINITELY getting one of those NDAs …

for my fourth wife. One like Stormy’s.”

‘USC Ousts Med School Dean They Hired To Replace Former Disgraced Dean’

No, it’s not The Onion. Crazed Carmen Puliafito’s replacement as the head of the University of Southern California medical school – Puliafito’s protégé, by the way – turns out to have quite the naughty backstory himself, and since the story happened at USC and they appointed the guy dean anyway, UD thinks it’s time for the medical school at the University of Southern California to seek counseling. This is totally nuts, and UD‘s going to stop covering USC med school on this blog if things descend yet further into farce.

So. Meet the guy they chose to replace drug-crazed Carmen.

A young international student working for [Rohit] Varma on one of [his] research projects — an NIH-funded study of eye disease in Latinos — accompanied him to [a] conference.

The woman later told USC investigators that when they arrived at the conference hotel, Varma told the woman he had booked a single room and expected her to share a bed with him, according to two sources familiar with USC’s investigation. She told the investigators that when she questioned the arrangement, Varma claimed the grant money would only cover one room, the sources said.

She said that when she protested further, he took her cellphone away and threatened to have her visa revoked, according to the sources. The woman told investigators that she had no money to pay for her own room and ended up sleeping on a cot in Varma’s room, the sources said.

She reported the incident to USC, and the university’s Office of Equity and Diversity launched an investigation of Varma for sexual harassment and retaliation. Investigators found evidence to support her claims…

Just the sort of person you want when you’re desperate to clean house after orgy-meister Carmen.



Cruz Blames Porn Use on his Staff

What else is he going to blame it on? His elbow?

Take the money and run

[P]rosecutors showed graduate students in [Yujie] Ding’s lab at Lehigh University did all of the work to develop an atmospheric sensor for NASA, while Ding and Zotova pocketed most of the $700,000 through a shell company to which the contract had been awarded.

Of the myriad thieving engineering professor stories UD has covered over the years, this one has it all: romance (Ding’s co-fraudster was his loving wife), slavery (what are graduate students for?), endless, fun, court machinations by the accused (“You have one of the best attorneys in the city,” [the judge] told Ding. “It appears you are attempting to delay this matter.”), and just, you know, even by the standards of thieving engineering professors, one of the most comprehensively sucky human beings that the human comedy, la condition humaine, the human animal, has to offer.

No one at Lehigh’s bothered to take his faculty page down. Could be they’re waiting until after sentencing. Ding “faces a statutory maximum of 120 years in prison,” and maybe Lehigh wants to add this impressively high number to his profile, but is waiting for it to be official.

“It’s an easy equation: Get the stadium, get better players, build a better team, win games, get into a better league and make more money. Spend that money on making a better university.”

America’s dumbest state builds a stadium.

Eighty Years Old: But Not Too Old To Have Rape Jokes Told About You.


Okay, now you’ve …

really gone too far.


To mark this day in North Carolina’s history, the town of Morehead has been renamed Lesshead.

“Although Freud said happiness is composed of love and work, reality often forces us to choose love or work.”

And then there’s Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

Asked by a judge why [his secret Parisian] flat was rented under an opaque setup, Strauss-Kahn said: “I was a politician, I was married. I needed a discreet place to meet politicians, and to meet young women I wanted to meet.”

Yeshiva University’s wildly overpaid president, who has presided over that institution’s fall to Moody’s junk status….

… announces that he “will not engage with the media further in …regard” to the school’s famously terrible financial situation. Everybody’s talking about it.

Further is strange. He has never engaged with the media. And he never will. Yet another winning strategy from an institution full of winning strategies.

He will, however, whisper, just in the ear of Yeshiva insiders, just for their sake, that Yeshiva is great, fine, rolling in dough, very very fiscally prudent. Couldn’t be better.


CBS: “A university spokesman declined CBS 2’s interview requests, but issued a statement claiming inaccuracies in Weiss’ report. It wasn’t specific.”

There goes President Richard Joel earning his salary again.


Though he clearly wasn’t hired for his math skills.

Happy Valley’s New Savior and the Comfort Women

Shucks, says the pure as the driven snow guy Penn State has brought in to coach football and remove the taint of its past, I can’t take credit for our terrific recruitment so far.

“It has very little to do with me… It’s the staff, it’s the players, it’s the tradition, it’s the history, it’s the fans showing out 72,000 at the spring game. … It’s the whole package. That’s why we’re being successful. We’re just, I think, doing a pretty good job of painting that picture of the vision of what Penn State can be and what it will be… I had a lot of confidence that we would be able to do a good job of finding those guys, attracting them to Penn State and getting them on board to join our family.

The family, the family, always the family. And what a family. Startlingly dysfunctional. But you bring in a guy like James Franklin, and you’re bringing back solid values. Like for instance at his last job, at Vanderbilt, after four football players were accused of raping a student, he apparently called the student right away:

[Attorneys claim] the victim was contacted by Franklin [and Dwight Galt, also now coaching at Penn State] during a medical examination four days after the rape to explain “that they cared about her because she assisted them with recruiting.”

[Attorneys] went on to say that at some point, “Coach Franklin called her in for a private meeting and told her he wanted her to get fifteen pretty girls together and form a team to assist with the recruiting even though he knew it was against the rules. He added that all the other colleges did it.”

So Franklin means it when he says he can’t take credit for his recruiting success – at least his success at Vanderbilt. If it weren’t for the Comfort Women in the Vanderbilt family (and who knows what he’s got cooking in the Penn State family?), the magic wouldn’t have happened.

[I]f Franklin had a role in organizing a hostess program, that is a new development in the entire story.

What is probably clear is Penn State has either done an extremely thorough vetting process and determined there is absolutely nothing to be concerned with in the long-term, or the school totally swung and missed on the biggest black cloud that could potentially linger over the new head coach. Given the position Penn State has been in since 2011, the margin for error is barely existent.

Penn State. Never a dull day.


Update: A reminder that Penn State knew what it had in Franklin.

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