Students at UD’s alma mater study motorized sex toys.

In West Virginia, state Sen. Evan Jenkins said flights on discount airlines between Huntington, W. Va., and Fort Lauderdale, Fla. [pill mills] have been dubbed the “Oxycontin Express.”

… for so long on forming a government that university students there have begun stripping in protest.

The University of Georgia’s Brett Tennent-Brown hails from randy New Zealand – land of Big Cock Energy Drink – and prides himself on his penis. Dr Brett specializes in large animal medicine. He got a grant for the following proposal: “Better Understanding of Colitis.” But the main thing he does is talk and write about his penis.

In response to complaints about him, the Equal Opportunity Office has had to parse Brett’s penis. It has had to determine whether his unflagging mention of his favorite subject is harassing, or just really stupid and disgusting. It has determined that the behavior is not actionable – yet – but the dude better watch himself.

Meanwhile, UD wants to convey to one of the note-takers at the EOO that it’s penile, not penal, thermometer.

What’s up with Villanova, a Catholic institution? What’s up with its law school?

One of its recent grads is right out in front on the big insider trading scandal. Its last dean resigned for “medical reasons” (prostitutes). And now it turns out school administrators have been lying about entering GPA and LSAT scores for years.

‘Course, everybody lies.

Okay… But this makes it look as though New Mexico State still uses Security Concepts to protect its campus.

Either way, you gotta wonder why they hired Security Concepts. The owner was “arrested in 1999 on racketeering and other charges in an investigation of crime in public housing that turned up allegations of illegality at [a] downtown Las Cruces bar.” Charges were dropped because they couldn’t find enough witnesses.

More recently (last month), the same owner was “charged with driving drunk with two loaded firearms in his vehicle.”

… [Michael] Gonzales refused to provide a breath sample … During a search of the Jeep, the deputies found an unloaded Phoenix Arms long rifle under the passenger seat, a loaded Charter Arms .38 Special and a Kel-Tec 9 mm Luger, which was not only loaded but had a round in the chamber …

UD thanks Andrew for alerting her to this story about a math professor at Cal State Northridge who’s been peeing repeatedly on the office door of a colleague he doesn’t like.

Women are kept from doing this sort of thing by the relative difficulty of the act.

He runs an incredibly busy, successful, architectural design firm.

He’s just taken on a second academic appointment: Judge Widney Professor of Architecture at the University of Southern California.

“It’s unclear what classes, if any, Gehry will be teaching in future semesters at USC.”

Residents of an apartment building on the campus of the University of British Columbia are protesting the university’s plans to build a hospice next door.

They don’t like dying people.

… TO US.

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For those in need of background on this post’s title:  Go here.

Full transcript.

… rural life.

… a Room.

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… A TV news program wanted linen-wrapped books chopped in half to fit the shallow, faux-shelves of a political interview program.

… [T]he-book-as-relic was forecasted by marketers. Ann Mack, director of trend-spotting for JWT New York, the marketing and advertising agency, noted in her trend report for the coming year that “objectifying objects,” she said, “would be a trend to watch.”

Quoting from her report, she added: “Here’s what we said: ‘The more that objects become replaced by digital virtual counterparts — from records and books to photo albums and even cash — watch for people to fetishize the physical object. Books are being turned into decorative accessories…

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Originally, the client asked for German philosophers, said Mr. Wine, but switched to the classics to fit her budget.

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A stout, middle-aged man, with enormous owl-eyed spectacles, was sitting somewhat drunk on the edge of a great table, staring with unsteady concentration at the shelves of books. As we entered he wheeled excitedly around and examined Jordan from head to foot.

“What do you think?” he demanded impetuously.

“About what?” He waved his hand toward the book-shelves.

“About that. As a matter of fact you needn’t bother to ascertain. I ascertained. They’re real.”

“The books?”

He nodded.

“Absolutely real–have pages and everything. I thought they’d be a nice durable cardboard. Matter of fact, they’re absolutely real. Pages and–Here! Lemme show you.”

Taking our scepticism for granted, he rushed to the bookcases and returned with Volume One of the “Stoddard Lectures.”

“See!” he cried triumphantly. “It’s a bona-fide piece of printed matter. It fooled me. This fella’s a regular Belasco. It’s a triumph. What thoroughness! What realism! Knew when to stop, too–didn’t cut the pages. But what do you want? What do you expect?”

The Great Gatsby

From The Copenhagen Post:

An Aalborg University professor and at least three other men and one woman have been caught on tape holding a steamy orgy on campus.

[T]he professor has organised several orgies in a university machine room …

[F]our men [wear] monk robes while having sex with [a] woman.

… The recorded orgy is said to show the participants carefully preparing the room and equipment for an hour leading up to the encounter. Afterwards the room is cleaned up and all traces of the activity are removed.

… [U]niversity rector Finn Kjærsdam [said:] “[W]e’re responsible for all university facilities, and we cannot and will not have things like that going on here.”

As if the University of New Mexico didn’t have enough embarrassments.

Kitsch, thy name is Orlando.