The New University of Texas:

Now you can do this on campus as well as off! Y’all come down.

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Our students’ safety and well-being are paramount at the University of Texas.

SWAT officers ordered the suspects to come down with their hands up.

“Seeing that in West Campus is really just alarming,” [a student] said. “I saw the guns on them and the shields, so I was pretty terrified.”

Well, hold onto your hat, UT student! Booze, frats, and guns galore: Life of the mind, Texas.

If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.

Missouri legislators are furious: Football players at the University of Missouri can’t carry handguns. Coach says so.

Rep. Joe Don McGaugh, R-Carrollton, called the policy “unbelievable.”

McGaugh is clearly shaken. He will need time to himself before he’s able to focus on countermeasures. I’m sure his fellow legislators are in the same boat.

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Once McGaugh and other lawmakers feel able to act, UD can guarantee that the kids will get all the handguns they want. Relax.

Remember the Dildo!

If you’re from Texas you know this venerable phrase, reminding you every morning to pack your cock (not Glock) in your knapsack (UD is so old she calls backpacks knapsacks) before you go to school. It’s part of a campus-wide protest against the new conceal-carry-in-classrooms law.

UD, a fervent supporter of this nascent open dildoes movement, admits to struggling a bit with the concept, though. What is the connection between showing a dildo in public and protesting against people bringing concealed guns to university classes?

At first blush, the gesture sounds merely aesthetic:

Cocks Not Glocks, a [University of Texas Austin] protest group formed last fall, is urging students and others to openly carry the sex toys around campus, offering a multicolored counterpoint to the concealed weapons that holders of handgun licenses can now legally carry inside UT classrooms and most buildings.

One of the organizers elaborates:

“As long as you have a dick on your backpack, people will be thinking about the guns inside of other people backpacks” [Jessica] Jin said Tuesday, dildo strapped to her backpack.

So it’s an aide–mémoire, a way of jogging your memory about the new fact of concealed guns all around you. Plus: obscene/obscene:

“The State of Texas has decided that it is not at all obnoxious to allow deadly concealed weapons in classrooms; however, it does have strict rules about free sexual expression, to protect your innocence. You would receive a citation for taking a dildo to class before you would get in trouble for taking a gun to class. Heaven forbid the penis.”

However, the university has announced it’s down with the dong, the more the merrier, go ahead with the dildoes, so the obscenity thing lacks a certain oomph.

I guess UD thinks of it as a counter-demonstration sort of thing, a provocative, amusing “response” to conceal carry… Also maybe a comment on guns as an aide-de-male-sexual-inadequacy-feelings? The gesture certainly skews female, certainly suggests a mordant womanly comment on boys and their toys…

Anyway there’s a rally on campus today and you should go if you’re in town because there’s something deeply shameful – not to mention dangerous- about so many guns out and about in states like Texas. UD doesn’t blame the UT architecture dean for resigning and moving to a non-lunatic state in response to campus carry (which, if I know Texas, will very soon be campus open carry), and she certainly hopes other faculty follow. Already a number of people who had planned to enroll as UT students have announced they’ll go to gun-free schools instead. And now you’ve got the dildo brigade, which is at once amusing and deadly serious.

A Gun-Owner Writes.

I’m a gun owner and Donald Trump doesn’t speak for me – or any of the gun owners I know. His suggestion on Tuesday that we “second amendment people” could take matters into our own hands if Hillary Clinton makes undesirable supreme court justice selections makes all gun owners look unhinged. But he doesn’t speak for us. He speaks only for himself.

… The responsibility to keep Trump out of the White House is on all of us, and that includes gun owners. We can’t let our care for the second amendment mean we turn a blind eye to this latest of many red flags.

After all, in the navy’s firearms training, we learn that ignoring the signs of danger can get us killed – so why would we ignore them here at home?

The Gang that Can’t Shoot Straight

He-Man Trump and his hunting party bagged them some big donor game in Portland Oregon. Lined up three rich guys from that city to host a Seattle fundraiser in a couple of weeks. His campaign sent out fancy invitations in their names and waited for the RSVPs to roll in.

One of the three hosts is a Portland State University trustee – UD mentions this merely because this is a blog about universities and it’s always nice to find a university angle.

So with the press alerted and the invitations circulating, one, two, and then three of the hosts listed said it was the first they’d heard of it and actually Donald Trump can go fuck himself.

A Ferndale state senator is forced to explain why three Portland businessmen listed [as hosts] on an invitation for an upcoming Seattle fundraiser for Donald Trump say they have no plans to attend.

Republican Doug Ericksen is a Trump campaign leader – he says the draft invitation was prematurely circulated and released to the media before plans were finalized.

Premature circulation is the sort of thing that can happen to any guy who’s too excited for his own good, shooting stuff out before asking if it’s also good for his partner.

And it can definitely lead to hard feelings. That Portland State trustee, for instance.

“I have requested that the campaign and Republican Party correct their records,” [Peter] Stott says, “and remove my name from any invitations or other materials.”

He doesn’t sound happy.

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Update: Ah fuck it.

Trump has cancelled.

“‘My friends and I were talking, how can he easily get this AR-15? He had no criminal history, but he definitely had some psychological issues,’ he said of Ivanov. ‘We didn’t think gun control was that important until now.'”

When you’re nineteen and you live in America and you’re bummed out about a breakup, you can mosey on down the lane and buy an AR-15 and blow away your ex plus a couple of random people in her vicinity. The shooter was about to be a sophomore at the University of Washington.

Love the Quotation Marks.

A recent Science Friday investigated the absence of research studies of gun violence. Why does the CDC, for instance, shy away from supporting this sort of research?

The NRA “declined to come on the program,” but sent a statement complaining that researchers typically fail to mention positive outcomes associated with gun ownership, and only incorporate

“negative” outcomes such as suicide and/or homicides.

People are taking bets: How many deaths in how many minutes …

… before the United States bans assault weapons? We’re up to fifty killed in – what? – sixty minutes? Probably less time than that. (“It was done very quickly also.“)

UD bets we’ll need at least 300 killings – say roughly the contents of an airliner – in thirty minutes before something begins to happen.

I mean, multiple events with that body count/time frame, of course.

***************

There are those who refuse to wager.

“Sandy Hook marked the end of the US gun control debate,” Dan Hodges, a British journalist, tweeted in June of last year. “Once America decided killing children was bearable, it was over.”

Investigated multiple times by the FBI, a “known quantity,” but still in possession of…

… an AR-15-style assault rifle.

**************

[G]iven permissive U.S. gun laws, even someone like Mateen who allegedly abused his spouse and was repeatedly investigated by the FBI, could legally purchase an automatic weapon because he had not yet openly supported a terrorist group.

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“He had an automatic rifle, so nobody stood a chance.”

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Florida’s love affair with it.

“In 1993, the siege on the Branch Davidian compound outside of town made national headlines; a decade later, a Baylor basketball player murdered one of his teammates, and then-coach Dave Bliss’s attempt to cover up his own knowledge of problems inside his program led to severe NCAA sanctions. Last year, a shootout involving a biker club left nine dead, 18 wounded and a police department under scrutiny for administrative errors — reigniting a perception that the 25th-largest city in Texas is perhaps its most unstable.”

Well, let’s just go down that list, shall we? Horrible hideous shit can happen anywhere, especially in a country where everyone has at least two guns. We’re getting the list now because of the latest entry on it – the nation’s premier Baptist university, and that university’s local police department, spent years ignoring rampantly raping football players. That’s Waco’s latest claim to fame.

Okay, so four things on the list are about Baylor, basketball, and football: The murder, the cover-up, the NCAA sanctions, and now the rapes. If you ask ol’ UD, who’s been covering big-time sports mayhem at America’s universities since you were knee-high to a grasshopper, there’s nothing reigniting or even igniting about that list — homicidal raping covering up and heavily sanctioned university sports programs are not uncommon in the United States.

Admittedly most of the murders take place shortly after the player has dropped out of the school.

Since 2007, [Aaron Hernandez has] been charged with, or linked to, the shootings of six people in four incidents. Three of the victims were gruesomely murdered. One survivor, a former friend named Alexander Bradley, has had multiple operations and lost his right eye. The other two survivors were shot in their car outside a Gainesville, Florida, bar after an altercation involving Hernandez and two of his teammates his freshman year at the University of Florida. While in Gainesville, he sucker-punched a guy and shattered the fellow’s eardrum, and reportedly failed multiple drug tests, though he was suspended only once for those offenses.

But who’s counting? It’s your beloved suspension-averse alma mater we’re describing here, and right this minute you’re loading up the Bud Light in anticipation of tailgate season for you and the young’uns.

So is Waco problematically special? Only stuff special on the list is the two cults – the Davidians and the Pagans.

I’m sure Texas gets more than its share of violent cults, just as Utah and Oregon do, because these states get all goose-bumpy over guns plus they hate laws and shit cuz that’s the state and fuck the state.

No, by prevailing big-time university athletics standards and prevailing state standards, there’s nothing special about Waco.

**********************

UPDATE: UD thanks Derek for pointing out
that this is about basketball as much as football.

“[T]he norm in such cases is for the attacker to be male, for the attacks to happen on campus, and for the source of the students’ anger to go well beyond a grade (although that may be a spark).”

In the aftermath of the UCLA shooting, Scott Jaschik reviews what we know about the origins and characteristics of such events. Which isn’t much. Fields like engineering, math, and biology do seem to produce most of the attacks, but nursing professors and comp lit professors have also in recent years been murdered by disgruntled students.

I think that “spark” idea gets us somewhere. My own review of these attacks conjures, pretty consistently, a paranoid loser smoldering with rage.

Et alors? All professors who teach long enough encounter students whose behavior unsettles them. Maybe frightens them. (Professors lucky enough to teach on gun-friendly campuses get to worry that these unbalanced individuals may be packing heat.) Behind the vague word assessment lies the hard reality that most of us will never actually report a student, that we expect university settings to be about intensity and struggle and not giving up on people. Several of these killings came after a perpetual grad student was finally dropped from a program. University settings tolerate the sort of bizarre behavior that corporations would boot out the door in minutes.

For what it’s worth – killers in university settings (I’m thinking of professors who kill professors too, like the notorious Amy Bishop) aren’t just paranoid, from what I can tell. They are often strikingly grandiose, arrogant people. They kill those who refuse to acknowledge their superiority. They are solving a problem: They are ridding the world of people whose existence threatens their god-like self-perception. Professors who give middling or failing grades to shaky people who consider themselves transcendent geniuses would be at risk.

**************

The gunman has been identified.

[William] Klug was an associate professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering and had been the target of [Mainak] Sarkar’s anger on social media for months. On March 10, Sarkar called the professor a “very sick person” who should not be trusted.

“William Klug, UCLA professor is not the kind of person when you think of a professor. He is a very sick person. I urge every new student coming to UCLA to stay away from this guy,” Sarkar wrote. “He made me really sick. Your enemy is my enemy. But your friend can do a lot more harm. Be careful about whom you trust.”

A source called the gunman’s accusations “absolutely untrue.”

“The idea that somebody took his ideas is absolutely psychotic,” the source said.

***************

… Sarkar has been studying for his PhD since 2006 with no graduating date, two years longer than any of the other researchers.

***************

The killer had a list of targets and killed one of them – a woman who lived in his Minnesota town – before driving to LA and killing Krug.

***************

The woman was his ex-wife.

Spot the Shooter!

Watch live from the shooter-copter as we try to find the guy gunning down people at UCLA.

****************

Two dead. Shooter apparently still at large.

Waco, Texas 101: Distinguishing Among Marauding Hordes.

There is the marauding horde at the city’s Christian university, Baylor:

There have been altercations, sexual assaults, hidden police reports and no discipline. Everybody is in on it, trying to keep the football gravy trainrolling unimpeded by pesky justice for victims of the Bears’ marauding horde.

And there is the marauding horde at the city’s breastaurant:

Sunday’s fight escalated to include knives and firearms as gang members fired at each other in the Twin Peaks parking lot, police said, adding that nine suspected gang members died and 170 were arrested.

If you’re a diner or a shopper or a university student, try to stay out of their way. Now that the state of Texas is open carry, this should become easier. The marauding hordes are now likely to be displaying their weaponry.

If you’re a student and would like to study amid the bike engines, gunshots, police sirens, and screams of the dying, UD recommends earbuds.

“The history of the justice and law enforcement system in Waco is not the best, [one of the bikers’ leaders] said, adding that no one expected what happened that day to occur.”

Before the killing, massed police stood in wait outside the building; after the killing, they confiscated from the bikers

480 weapons: 151 guns, along with assorted knives, brass knuckles, batons, hammers, and the bikers’ blunt objects of choice — padlocks wrapped in bandanas.

But no one expected violence to occur, see.

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Why is UD on about Waco Texas and the bikers?

Because there’s a university in Waco. Baylor University. Given on and off campus problems, UD doesn’t think it’s such a hot idea for women in particular to apply to Baylor.

On campus, there’s the whole rape thing. Off campus there’s… well, there’s Waco.

Waco has problems.

The [biker] shootout was just the latest instance of mayhem and chaos to focus unwanted national attention on Waco. Ten years after the Branch Davidian episode, a Baylor basketball player shot and killed a teammate after an argument. The ensuing scandal led to the resignation of the coach and probation for the team.

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Waco attracts hordes of bikers. It’s in the heart of the breastaurant corridor.

En masse, roaring up and down your streets, bikers are really noisy. Most states care about the noise and try to regulate it, but don’t mess with Texas. They might have a law or two on the books, but why do you suppose all the bikers wanna be in Texas?

Do you like the idea of living in a town that’s ground zero for hundreds of bikers all year long? Does this seem to you compatible with university study?

Then there’s the bikers/guns thing. Waco doesn’t seem able to keep heavily armed caravans of bikers from storming through town on a regular basis. So far the bikers just kill each other. But eventually a revenge shootout’s going to hit other targets.

And, you know, Texas is all open carry now. What a fine thing to look up from your Bible As Literature class and watch these guys bombing through with their big guns hanging off their necks.

Perhaps Waco’s city council enjoys the bikers. Perhaps everyone on the council rides a bike. Dunno. I only know that Waco’s doing shit about motorcycle gangs going at one another on its streets.

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See, in UD‘s opinion, an undergraduate woman could do better than spend her afternoons on a rape-friendly campus and her evenings working as a server in a gang-themed breastaurant. I just think she could do better.

I mean, listen to this reporter. Read the accompanying story. At Baylor, you even have your choice of man-brawl locations: a Waco shopping mall, or, yet more conveniently located, just off campus.

‘Baylor professor Robert Darden said his heart sank when he heard about the Twin Peaks shootings. “Ah man, really? We were making such progress,” Darden thought at the time. “You don’t see this in Wichita Falls or Plano, or you don’t see Midland or Beaumont in the news. It’s Waco.”‘

Like everyone else ’round them parts, Professor Darden is marking the one year anniversary of the breastaurant-bikers shootout ‘cross town from his school, Baylor University.

After the melee and the nine deaths, “480 weapons: 151 guns, along with assorted knives, brass knuckles, batons, hammers, and the bikers’ blunt objects of choice — padlocks wrapped in bandanas” were recovered at the now-defunct, all-the-tits-you-can-eat Twin Peaks, and the exciting news is that the next biker happy meal will take place under a new law permitting every one of those guns to be open carried. With Twin Peaks fresh in their minds, Texas legislators passed an open carry law.

Well, it’s Texas. You still see a few professors bitching about the body count. But most of the professors who don’t love guns and aren’t on board with collateral damage will leave the state.

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Update: UD thanks dmf, a reader, for this link to details on the winsome ways of some of the gunniest gunnies in Texas.

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