Girls Get in on the Act.

When everybody’s got a gun, every day is a massacre. Cuz we all have problems to solve, and guns solve problems. That’s why everybody’s got a gun.

Now, women have kind of been a holdout, in that although they own pretty much as many guns as men, they have seemed reluctant to use them to kill everyone.

But just down the road from UD‘s own Port Deposit, Maryland, where her grandfather owned a department store, a woman took out her … whatever … AR-15? … and blew everyone away today.

Thursday’s incident was the third mass shooting in the past 24 hours.

Just-Arrived Northwestern University Graduate Student Makes Fatal Mistake of Going Outside in Chicago

… 25-year-old Shane Colombo, a native of Sun City, California, was in the 7600 block of North Clark Street in the Rogers Park neighborhood at about 8:25 p.m. Sunday when he was caught in crossfire between two people, Chicago police said. A statement from the university said Colombo was waiting at a bus stop.

Colombo was struck in his abdomen and was taken to Saint Francis Hospital in Evanston, where was pronounced dead at 9:02 p.m., police said.

… Colombo was planning to join Northwestern’s psychology Ph.D. program as an incoming student this fall, according to a statement from university officials. He received a bachelor’s degree from San Francisco State University and was in the process of moving to Chicago from New York, where he was a researcher at Columbia University’s Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Lab.

Crazed Men With Guns: They’re Everywhere You Want To Be.

You can bet on it.

‘The 9 mm pistol, a Glock model 43, was recovered from a holster on [Joshua Aaron Bland’s] right hip, police said. The gun was loaded with six rounds of ammunition and Bland had a second magazine with nine rounds in it…’

In other words: Game day!

It’s all in the details.

These are routine, I know – but sometimes the details are good.

A Salem [Missouri] father and son both face weapon and drug offenses after a Saturday traffic stop located methamphetamine, heroin and a firearm…

… Leonard Eplin was making erratic movements towards the crotch of his pants and all three vehicle occupants were removed from the car. The vehicle was searched upon a K-9 officer indicating the odor of narcotics was present. An ammunition magazine containing four rounds was subsequently found under the front driver’s seat.

Upon initiating a search of the car’s trunk, Zakary and Leonard Eplin claimed it was inaccessible because it couldn’t be physically opened; however, it was found to easily open. Inside, a Taurus PT840 .40-caliber pistol matching the ammunition magazine was discovered wrapped in a black bandana inside a bag.

Zakary Eplin first denied ownership of the firearm but later said it was his upon his father telling officers his son had legally purchased it. When asked if he had anything illegal on his person, Leonard Eplin is quoted in the report as saying no and affirming, “I swear on my dead father’s grave.” A total of 17 heroin capsules and one gram of meth were later discovered hidden on his body while he was being processed for incarceration…

Time to replace “they cling to guns or religion” with…

they cling to guns and football.

But… you knowBRING ‘EM ON!

Shades of Adam Lanza.

I suppose we should be grateful America’s latest obviously demented gun-bearer only killed two.

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[E]very country contains mentally ill and potentially violent people. Only America arms them.

Jacksonville, Florida, and Football: There’s Something Special in the Air

Whether it’s the real game, at a high school, or the virtual game, at an entertainment complex, football and Florida go together like Smith and Wesson.

Put America’s most violent game together with virtually universal gun ownership, throw in an open public venue, and POOOOOF! Mass shooting.

The shots and shrieks are recorded by all the dying people, so the soundtrack of America writes itself: Concussive hits from the game; RATATATATATATATATA; fuck they’re shooting run; bodies running; grunts; bodies falling.

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And Parkland’s only four hours away! The Sunshine State’s full of opportunities – at many of the same locations! – to get killed in a large-scale event.

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Their flagship university.

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[E]very country contains mentally ill and potentially violent people. Only America arms them.

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SEVENTEEN TRILLION

How many mass shootings in your state will it take for you to do something?” David Hogg tweeted to U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

‘MAKE FOOTBALL VIOLENT AGAIN’

Happy to oblige, Andrew; happy to oblige.

Ah. A quintessential, All-American scene.

Our definitive, democratic game – with a play that lets everyone take part in running down the field.

Enjoy the instant replays.

Crime Stats

In Chicago, One Weekend, 66 Shooting Victims, and Zero Arrests

For Every Manafort You See, There are so Many You Don’t

No arrests in Chicago; and “[f]ederal prosecutions of white-collar crime … are on track this year to reach their lowest level on record.”

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I guess that leaves pink collar crime and terrorism?

Saturday Night and Sunday Morning

63 people have been shot, nine fatally, since 5 p.m. Friday. 34 of the shootings and five deaths occurred between 10 a.m. Saturday and 10 a.m. Sunday…

One paramedic described Saturday evening into Sunday morning as “a war zone.”

Power Flows from the Barrel of a …

Guv.

Meanwhile – thousands of people are sending thoughts and prayers.

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UD thanks dmf.

‘During the exuberance of the 1990s, it seemed possible that drugs would one day wipe out depression, making suicide a rare occurrence. But that turned out to be an illusion. In fact, the American suicide rate has continued to climb since the beginning of the 21st century. We don’t know why this is happening, though we do have a few clues. Easy access to guns is probably contributing to the epidemic: Studies show that when people are able to reach for a firearm, a momentary urge to self-destruct is more likely to turn fatal.’

Postmodern techno-efficiency dispenses with irrational exuberance about suicide rates in America. If you want to keep rates high, make the act very simple and one hundred percent fatal.

Brother Dan Mullen Explains it All for You.

The coach explains his no weapons policy for University of Florida football players.

“It’s a no-weapons policy in certain situations of how to be educated to not have (issues)…No weapons, that’s easy to remember. If I write out all the different (scenarios)—no weapons in these situations or have a weapon for a hunting situation, if I’m doing this, I store it at this location, I keep it here, I have gun safety rules and knowledge—that’s not a quick catch to them to register in their mind. Does that make sense?”

Which neatly explains why one of his players, found to have a loaded AR-15 in his car, will suffer no punishment.

As a Deadspin columnist rather querulously notes, ‘If a “no-weapon” policy isn’t designed to keep players from carrying assault weapons for the purposes of shooting people during altercations, there really is no point at all in having any weapons policy.’

Maybe it applies to nuclear weapons.

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