‘When first I came to Louisville / Some treasure there to find…’

The Ballad of James Ramsey is being written as we speak, and since the whole point of University Diaries is to pay attention to strange and unsettling things that happen in our country’s university system, we will follow his saga closely here.

A forensic audit demanded by [University of Louisville] donors recently confirmed that under Ramsey’s leadership, the foundation [which Ramsey, quite the monopolist, ran, along with running the university] authorized excessive spending, including on executive compensation, and realized unrecorded endowment losses to the tune of $120 million.

Yes, yes, Lawrence Summers, when Harvard prez, lost one billion from the endowment, so what’s a paltry $120 m? I mean, your university can lose twelve million in a matter of minutes if you have ninnies minding the till, so big deal. Money in, money out. At UL specifically, the job of donors is to give money; the job of trustees is to take it; the job of students is to shut the fuck up.

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Turns out, though, that even in America’s arguably most corrupt state, a few people find abundant high-level university theft annoying, and though Ramsey probably won’t live long enough to go to jail … wait lemme check his age… guy’s pushing seventy… that’s not that old these days!… he has, er, tons of money with which to countersue, to appeal, to fall mysteriously ill and delay his trial, to become a shimmy shimmy koko bop fundamentalist preacher and get too famous to finger blahblahblah… he might be able to swing it so he can spend the rest of his days weeping to reporters about how he’s being treated exactly the way they treated Jesus …

Poor (impoverished; pathetic) UL is right now floating on this very same stream of consciousness, asking themselves if they want to take a big financial and reputational hit (and when your most recent dorm renovation involved retrofitting the building so it’s no longer a whorehouse for your athletes, you got you some reputational issues) and go after Ramsey and his cronies… Already “donations to the university have been falling rapidly, down 25 percent from 2016–17,” and the question is whether allowing the Full-Ramsey shitstorm to hit the public in the interest of eventually clearing the air (‘cepn nobody who knows Kentucky thinks anything will ever clear its air) will appease donors or simply remind them what an icky place the school, grosso modo, is.

Slouching Toward The New York Times.

As the University of Louisville’s last marauder-president attracts more and more attention from the Kentucky attorney general, it’s just a matter of time before his story – and the story of his merry band of fellow marauders – hits the front page of the nation’s paper of record. Already James Ramsey and The Louisville Muggers have hunkered down in their multiple luxury homes hoping no one can find them in all the square footage… But the long arm of the law might just extend to that tenth bedroom at the back of the basement, and then all of the Ramsey regime’s efforts to erase its possibly criminal record will have been for nothing.

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Assuming things go as expected, here’s what we’ll soon see on Page One.

IN KENTUCKY, A UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT ACCUSED OF GRAND THEFT

The accession of James Ramsey, a folksy local boy made good, to the presidency of the University of Louisville, was greeted with great enthusiasm…

Babadebah. You and I can write these things in our sleep. Utopia at last! And then – shocker – A Grand Reversal…

It’s all Hollywood.

At the University of Southern California, it’s about illusion, and maintaining illusion. As in the top secret executive committee, composed of selected top secret trustees, that will review the illusion that was Carmen Puliafito:

“There will be a fair number of board members who are not engaged in serious decision-making,” [an experienced observer noted]. “The problem with empowering the executive committee in that manner is that a great number of trustees … are more or less in the dark. They become decorative backdrop rather than actually filling the fiduciary role. That is not a healthy situation in governance.”

To make the situation all the more absurd, the university’s president, who seems primarily responsible for maintaining Puliafito way past his unmasking as a world-historical degenerate, is himself a voting member of this committee. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!

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Another observer writes:

“A healthy board [which this one, she strongly implies, is not] is going to ask itself: ‘Have we participated in the creation of a culture where the most egregious ethical lapses are ignored because the money is coming in?’”

Very delicate of her to state the matter in the interrogative.

Perhaps most concerning about this board is their inability to come up with more than one member (out of many) willing to respond to the Los Angeles Times’ request for a comment like a real asshole son of a bitch:


I have no interest in talking to the L.A. Times. … Just draw a line through my name.

Ronald N. Tutor! May your name be inscribed in the book of life as a blessing, for lo! Of more worth is one honest man to society and in the sight of God, than all the crowned ruffians that ever lived. Amen.

‘Asked by reporters later whether the drop was caused by the foundation scandal or the one involving the men’s basketball program, Inman said it was impossible to say.’

When you don’t know which scandal has so disgusted people that they’ve stopped – en masse – donating to your university, you’re probably talking about the University of Louisville. Which scandal, which mix of scandals, accounts for gifts to the university tanking by over twenty percent?

Was it the dorm for the basketball players that turned out to be a whorehouse? Was it revelations about UL’s recently deposed, corrupt, leader – a man who took loud offense if you questioned his need to be both president of the university and head of the now-notorious U of L Foundation?

[A] forensic audit found that the foundation wasted money on virtually worthless real estate investments and startups as well as football tickets and bowl games.

It also says [President] Ramsey’s administration raided the university’s endowment – a pool of investments worth about $800 million – to fund at least $42 million in unbudgeted and “overbudgeted” expenses.

And it found that the bad investments and loans forced it to spend money from its endowment at a dangerous rate, despite warnings that such spending couldn’t be sustained.

An outside attorney for the university, Craig Dilger, has estimated losses at $60 million to $65 million.

If you’ve read this blog for any time at all, you know that along with these two scandals, there are many many others – all of which has earned for U of L the nickname U of Smell. If you’re not too averse to bad smells, you can read all about it here.

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How did U of L get so bad? Just put it together. Just put it all together: The southland, good old boys, football, basketball, sex, and money. Add a hundred jiggers of Kentucky bourbon for a brilliant finish.

How to Get Promoted to Chair of the Board of Trustees at Baylor University.

“Perverted little tarts” revisited.

[O]ther emails by [Baylor University regent Buddy] Jones … show him calling the fiercely independent Baylor Alumni Association “terrorists” and enlisting BU administrators in devious schemes to break the BAA… [One wonders] if fellow regents … were aware of such [comments] in closed-door meetings — whether about “tarts” or “terrorists” — and why some might have chosen to tolerate such behavior, given [that] it strikes us as less than Christian, which is what Baylor is supposed to be all about. Indeed, the [Jones] emails attached to [a current] Title IX lawsuit [against Baylor] are from 2009 — and BU regents nonetheless elevated Jones to board chair in 2011.

Perverted Little Mutes

A Baylor spokeswoman, Lori Fogleman, wrote in an email that the university declined to comment.

Update: Baylor Board Chair Calls Female Students ‘Perverted Little Tarts.’

Hell, if he’d only upgraded to calling them cunts, he’d be president today.

But ol’ Buddy ol’ pal — echt Wacoan, echt Baylor trustee, echt pious hypocrite (“[Ken] Starr … chronicled frustration with Jones in a recent book. Starr almost resigned in 2011 after Jones made a crude remark about the Baylor Alumni Association at a Baylor football game…”) — inexplicably restricted himself to calling female Baylor students who drank at a party (none, apparently, were underage) “perverted little tarts.”

Then-Baylor University Regent Neal “Buddy” Jones referred to female students he suspected of drinking alcohol as “perverted little tarts,” “very bad apples,” “insidious and inbred” and “the vilest and most despicable of girls” in 2009 emails to a faculty adviser, according to documents filed in a Title IX lawsuit against the university.

Ten alleged sexual assault victims suing Baylor attached the emails in a Friday legal filing to show a culture “using the alcohol policy as a pretext to shame, silence and threaten to expel a female student.”

Cunt and tart are both monosyllabic, and both end in T, but if you want to be president of the United States, not just a former Baylor trustee and current national laughingstock, you’re going to have to go all the way, like Mr. Trump.

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Buddy Jones – Bobby Lowder reincarnate – is Baylor. Know what I mean? You wanna know the deep structure, the god’s own truth, of a university, you take a good look at Buddy Jones, moral scold, sexist pig, and his state’s third-biggest water hog. Just like Ken Starr, he’s a walking talking religious hypocrisy doll; and boy do he sure hate women.

Buddy ain’t too bright when it comes to committing his thoughts to email. I mean, he knows enough to ask his correspondents to keep the emails private, but he doesn’t seem to understand the unlikelihood of this approach to privacy working.

In the 2009 correspondence, Jones also asked Davis to remove his name and comments from the email and wrote that his comments “are meant solely for you,” adding that at least one of the women should face expulsion.

Davis responded to Jones that day, saying the photos chronicling an engagement party did not include minors.

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So here comes all that correspondence for all of us to read – onaccounta oodles of never-ending Baylor rape trials and their evidence – and we get a good look at what we already knew: Southern sports factories are typically run by endless layers of assholes. The management structure of these schools is like that dim sum dish, thousand layer cake, only here it’s thousand layer assholes. Art Briles, Ken Starr, Buddy Jones – a whole royal asshole family ran Baylor, and now the place is trying to replace them with less assholery, but we’ve got a tradition here, people.

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For earlier posts on the asshole triumvirate, go here.

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NEW BAYLOR FIGHT SONG

(sing it with me)

Perverted Little Tarts!
Perverted Little Tarts!
Drunk and slutty through the years
Seducing with their arts!
They tempt our jocks and bring them low
Then claim that they were raped
Lord guide us as we courtward go
And pray that nothing got taped.

Ever since 2006…

… (see last three paragraphs), UD has followed the predictable – predicted – demise of Western Kentucky University as it embraces big-time football. As object-of-ridicule-and-contempt Professor Robert Dietel tried to tell the WKU idiots more than ten years ago, it’ll bring expensive slimy coaches and violent players to campus. It’ll drain the already paltry funds available for academics, and the steady march of player arrests will associate WKU’s name with criminality. The latest big roundup of players – for beating the shit out of a fraternity guy – on camera – is getting the national publicity it deserves.

I hope the WKU trustees who attacked Dietel are proud of themselves.

‘It is incumbent upon all Penn State Alumni to vote this horrible human being out as a trustee.’

Scathing Online Schoolmarm salutes politicians who write simply and directly, and it doesn’t get any more direct than State Rep Peter Schweyer, who has taken the measure of PSU trustee Al “So-Called Victims” Lord and wants him out.

Lord has already said he won’t run for reelection, but that leaves a lot of time in his current term for him to shoot his mouth off on any number of anal-rape-related subjects.

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Barking mad big boys on university BOTs are the life blood of this blog, so we will admit to ambivalence at the prospect of a defrocked Lord wandering the Poconos in search of a flock. But we feel confident that Penn State will find someone just like him for his replacement.

The Second Coming of the Lord

If you read UD, you saw Trustee Al “So-Called Victims” Lord coming way back. We covered his campaign for trustee here, paying special attention to his campaign statement (“Wife of 48 years, Suzanne, received her Penn State PHT (Putting Hubby Through) in 1967.”) and his platform:

Graham Spanier and Joe Paterno created the healthy alliance of academics and athletics. Penn State wins national championships in several sports and graduates America’s best prepared students. Our Trustees and Louis Freeh see a different Penn State.

I seek a seat on the PSU Board of Trustees because I can no longer watch the willful, cowardly destruction of our Penn State. “Freeh’s facts” are incomplete, selective, and largely unconvincing. Freeh’s report destroyed our past; left unchallenged it will diminish the future.

I don’t want you to think that our Lord is the only Lord. University BOTs across the nation worship these Big Men and their big talk and big guns and big fights and big business brains. UD spends a good bit of time following trustees who try to smuggle guns into the United States Senate, run pill mills, run the whole university including the sports program, use seven hundred dollars of the school’s money to buy liquor in order to get through one board meeting (I’m talking about one single trustee here), trap and kill “multiple federally protected migratory hawks,” assault the university’s football coach while in court giving a deposition, etc etc etc. Read my Trustees Trashing the Place category for details on these and so many other cases.

Admittedly much of the trustee thing is about appointing rich miscreants and then there’s the waiting game: Will Steve Cohen give us a little of his ten billion dollar personal fortune before the SEC catches up with him…? Or do we risk our reputation on his doing jail time? Bernie Madoff and Ezra Merkin seem to be pumping major bucks into the school, but there are rumblings…

And while our Lord does have a rather shabby financial past you have to go WAY past shabby to lose a seat on a BOT that wants your money.

Anyway. It would all be rather embarrassing if Penn State were capable of feeling embarrassment.

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UD thanks Wendy.

Get Bobby Lowder on the Line!

Now ah say ah say son you got yourself one helluva problem down at Baylor with some of these here big money boys trying to make all the regents resign just cuz they ground the school all the way down to shit and cost it so far a cool $223 million (and it’s early days!) with all them rapes on their watch.

The ongoing scandal has already claimed Baylor’s president, athletic director and head football coach. But the booster group says the purge hasn’t gone far enough and the regents haven’t assigned much blame to themselves. The boosters argue that a small group of board insiders controls the university and occasionally meddles in day-to-day business.

Damn right! Dumbest thing Auburn University ever did was get rid of trustee-for-life (I mean, spozed to be) Bobby Lowder, who for 29 years ran pretty much the entire school, all in the sacred name of football, and didn’t give a flying fuck about so-called ‘scandals’

So now you get ol’ Bobby on the phone (after the bank thing and finally getting thrown off the BOT I think he’s available) and you have him talk to Baylor’s trustees and tell them how to keep their asses planted firmly on the board for at least 29 years, and how to keep running the show.

Sometimes, all you need is the headline.

University of South Carolina Trustee Ditches Hitler Painting, Apologizes

“The university declined to comment.”

Hm yes six years a trustee at Ohio University and now he’s going to prison for five years for hm let’s see running a humongous pill mill, laundering money, and evading multiple millions in taxes.

OU has nothing to say about the fact that this man has for years and years been setting and overseeing policy for thousands of students, faculty, and alumni at Ohio University? How much will your tuition go up? Let’s see what Dr Lake decides! Alcohol and drug policy? You know who to ask!

No, no, we’ve unpersoned him – exactly the way Yeshiva University unpersoned Bernard… uh…

Bernard who?

A message from John H. Hammergren, one of our trustees here at the Center for Strategic and International Studies.

Wyoming, McDowell, and Boone, and Mingo:
These four no-count hollers all add up to… BINGO!
Get set for a lesson
From Mr McKesson
America’s greediest chairman, by jingo.

Shipping oodles and oodles of Oxy
To the poor and defenseless takes moxie.
While they die addicted
From what I’ve inflicted
I’m hoarding my bucks from the proxies.

Let’s toast West Virgina, my friends!
Let’s toast my obscene dividends!
And thank-you to the villagers
From our “most rapacious pillager”
Your trustee, John H. Hammergren.

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[UD thanks Dirk.]

“[Medical University of South Carolina] staff regularly stock up on liquor for the [board of trustees’] ‘hospitality suite.’ One staff member purchased nearly $700 worth of alcohol at Burris Liquor Store and Pence’s Liquor & Wine before a February 2015 meeting.”

Motto of the MUSC Board of Trustees:

TANKED UP OR NOT AT ALL!

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