David Polly, in his letter of resignation from the board of a medical organization because of the national scandal over his conflicts of interest, writes that “physicians are entitled to fair market value compensation for their time.”

Let’s think about fair market value for a moment.

It’s hard to determine in many cases, and particularly in this one, because, really, what was Medtronic, maker of medical devices, paying the University of Minnesota spine surgeon for? Consulting as a description means everything and nothing. We know, for instance, that Polly charged Medtronic personnel when they simply stood in the same room watching him operate. He charged them for breathing and looking.

We know, more importantly, that he charged Medtronic for Polly’s testifying in front of Congress in ways advantageous to Medtronic without Polly telling Congress he was on Medtronic’s payroll.

So. Did Medtronic pay Polly to say nice things about Medtronic to Congress, or did it pay him to lie about being on the payroll of Medtronic and therefore appear to be giving objective information to Congress about Medtronic?

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Well, let’s say Medtronic paid him for both — His willingness to say what Medtronic told him to say about Medtronic, and his willingness to lie.

What’s fair market on that?

Here are the hard numbers:

Grassley’s investigation revealed that by 2007 Medtronic paid Polly $4,750 a day, or $594 an hour … and that Polly gave congressional testimony on spine surgery research without disclosing his relationship with Medtronic.

Round it out to six hundred dollars an hour.

Six hundred dollars an hour. How much of each hour was spent directly whoring for Medtronic? I mean, he probably spent only a few minutes talking about them in front of Congress…

Well, we know that he billed Medtronic at these rates for a Medtronic person simply entering his office. He billed them when he called them to chat, billed them when he did this, when he did that… Again, it’s very hard to quantify these things. Does a whore charge for taking off her bra and making small talk? Or is she just charging for the act itself?

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One way to avoid this conundrum is to compare Dr Polly’s compensation to that of another doctor, Conrad Murray. Conrad Murray injected propofol and other things into Michael Jackson and killed him.

Michael Jackson’s corporation paid Conrad Murray exactly what David Polly’s corporation paid him: Both men received five thousand dollars a day.

Dr. Murray was a cardiologist in Houston, Las Vegas and Los Angeles for 20 years. Earlier this year, AEG, an event promoter and stadium operator, hired him to be Mr. Jackson’s personal physician during a planned series of 50 concerts in London, for a monthly salary of $150,000.

We can conclude that Medtronic did in fact did pay David Polly fair market rate. The current rate for money whores in the medical profession is five thousand dollars a day.