American university sports events get more and more violent, so much so that it wasn’t much of a story when, last year at this time, Syracuse University was host to multiple fights and one stabbing at their “Orange Madness” opening basketball event of the season. Police swarmed the building and everyone was ushered out before the event was scheduled to end because security couldn’t control all the fights.

Big deal. The life of the mind.

But yeah sure, as the chancellor said up there in my headline, we promise to do better next year.

So here we are and “how could this happen?” asks the local paper. How could it happen that Syracuse University, in designing this “family friendly” event to prevent last year’s violence, hired Ace Hood? Ace Hood…

After a night rocking to songs about fucking bitch pussies and shooting the fuck out of everyone with your arsenal, Syracuse will be ready for the football and basketball season!

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UPDATE
: Now that we’ve gotten a glimpse into the culture of the Syracuse athletics department and many of its fans (why not hire Ace Hood?), it’s time to cancel his act because a few malcontents object to his brilliant subversive lyrics.

Wonder how much his cancellation fee is. Yet another excellent use of university funds.

Everyone’s wondering who his replacement will be.

How about something for the girls? Rihanna!

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3 Responses to ““[F]uture Orange Madness events will be designed to prevent incidents such as this.””

  1. Alan Allport Says:

    All pretty stupid and embarrassing, I have to admit.

    It’s not even clear to me why they hold this event in the first place. The students don’t seem especially involved or interested, and basketball ticket sales are apparently as robust as ever.

  2. dmf Says:

    AA, SU hasn’t been able to get much in the way of student attendance at sporting events for years, not sure why they keep trying as there is reasonable townie attendance (no real professional sports for ticket sales competition), keeping up appearances and all I suppose…

  3. Anonymous Says:

    His replacement is Hilby the skinny german juggling boy. For the girls?

    You can’t make this stuff up.

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