It’s cold and sunny on the hot tub deck of our hotel. Les UDs are swinging gently on a padded porch swing overlooking the boardwalk. Across from us, on the other side of the boardwalk, people have lined up plaid, hunter green, and American flag-lined folding chairs. Directly across from me, a beefy sixtyish man with a face red from the wind off the ocean is clutching a tiny white dog and wearing a baseball hat that says somethingsomethingsomething (this part is in small letters and I can’t make it out) and then (in very big letters) SHIT. The parade begins in ten minutes.

The event is overseen by friendly people wearing orange vests that read MONSTER POLICE.

“I think it’s coming! I see a banner!” UD‘s sister gets excited.

Here comes a phalanx of people in maroon jerseys. The Rehoboth Beach Animal Hospital brigade.

Now – uh – men wearing yellow cardboard hats? The effect is knights-who-say-ni-ish. Fronted by a banjo player and then by a crazed old drunk who might or might not be part of their group. He engages parade-viewers in surrealistic conversation. “AH SEE YOU AH LOVE YOU AH LOVE YOU AH SEE YOU.”

Now human jesters lead bull dogs done as devils through the throng.

Irish setters as bumblebees. Yorkies as witches. A strange female humanoid all in white – polar bear?

VIVA DOGS VEGAS is an elaborate float with bad sequined dogs; the Miley Cyrus float features a dog with a chained naked Barbie on its back. The Miley Cyrus float is a huge hit when people finally figure it out.

Many pirate dogs; many skeleton dogs. CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS DOGBONI. What does it mean?

Extremely beautiful Collie Zorro; extremely beautiful large white poodle on which gray circles have been charcoaled. Really nice effect.

“A predominance of micro-dogs,” says Mr UD, disapprovingly.

RETIRED HOOTERS DOGS.
No one really gets it, but the word hooters is always a guaranteed laugh-getter.

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3 Responses to “Dog Parade Insta-blogging.”

  1. Van L. Hayhow Says:

    Dogboni? Brings back memories of when my parents would take my brother and me to Boston Bruins games. As you know, the Chicago Blackhawks are a professional hockey team. Many decades ago someone (Zamboni?) invented a perfect machine to a clean the ice between the periods and other times and called it the Zamboni. Every team has one. When the Zamboni operator would leave the ice at Bruins games, he would doff his hat and get a large round of applause.

  2. Margaret Soltan Says:

    Van: Zamboni! Thanks.

  3. Van L. Hayhow Says:

    I ran Zamboni through Google. The inventer was named Zamboni and his motto was their product was the ice itself. The company is still in business and the U. S. branch is located in California.

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