In response to the Tom Perkins Kristallnacht letter (go here for details), a Fortune writer asks us not to judge his investment firm just because it happens to have been founded by the dude.

KPCB has been subject of numerous media brickbats over the past few years (including some from yours truly), for issues related to both its investment strategy and firm management. Depending on your perspective, most of it either has been deserved or most of it has been overkill by a media that likes to tear down those it first builds up. But no matter your general feelings toward KPCB, the firm in no way deserves to be tarred with the spuriousness sentiments of its co-founder. Hopefully it will not be.

Gevalt. Where to start?

KPCB has been subject of numerous [Use “many”; it’s simpler, less pretentious.] media brickbats over the past few years [Drop “over the past few years”; it’s unnecessary.] (including some from yours truly), for issues related to both its investment strategy and firm management. [Drop “both its.”] Depending on your perspective, most of it either has been deserved or most of it [Get rid of the repetition of “most of it.” And by the way, notice how many of the words in this short paragraph are the deadly ‘it’?] has been overkill by a media that likes to tear down those it first builds up. But no matter your general feelings toward KPCB, the firm in no way deserves to be tarred with the spuriousness sentiments [Right – “spuriousness” makes no sense here. And even if he’d used “spurious,” it would designate exactly the opposite of the Perkins letter. There was nothing fake in the writing – it was a model of sincerity.] of its co-founder. Hopefully it will not be. [The final sentence is classic vacuousness, the equivalent of “Only the future will tell.”]

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2 Responses to “Scathing Online Schoolmarm Says: The answer to bad writing is not more bad writing.”

  1. Greg Says:

    SOSM —

    And one might add that dropping the article before “subject” sounds like Alan Arkin pretending to speak Russian-style English in “The Russians Are Coming.” “Everybody to get from street.” It might have worked had the preposition “to” been substituted for “of”. But I’m not sure that that works dictionwise.

    I must admit, however, that, were proofreading a gladiatorial sport, I’d have been dead on the floor of the Colosseum years ago.

    —————–

    Perkins is at least Exhibit B or C for mammoth delusions about not only the scale of true entitlement, but its nature, to the extent that it exists.

    Greg

  2. Margaret Soltan Says:

    Greg: Yes – I like the word “mammoth” for this one.

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