… to the leadership of your university, the boys of Kappa Beta Phi.
While you’re at campus events listening to administrators intone about diversity and social justice, four of the people who run or have run your school – Fink, Langone, Lipton, and Grasso – meet in secret to say what they really think.
Oh, and if you’re a student at the University of Richmond, or Columbia University, or … UD ain’t got time this morning to study the entire membership list (though she will say that any woman who belongs to this club should see a psychiatrist pronto), but there’s a fighting chance a trustee at your university is on it… But anyway for sure if you’re at Columbia or the University of Richmond you have an opportunity to get up close and personal with the leadership of your school…
UD will admit to being fascinated by the… pincer movement by which the contemporary American university is dominated on one side by mindless reactionary jocks and on the other by mindless reactionary vampire squids. No wonder our schools have to hire increasing numbers of earnest high-minded speechmakers – the pressure at either end is killing them. (As longtime readers know, this is UD‘s theory as to why, after Larry Summers, Harvard felt compelled to hire Drew Faust, whose manner is that of Ma Ingalls, to, er, re-rhetoricize the school. UD predicts that Faust’s successor will be Garrison Keillor. It’s getting truly desperate out there.)
February 21st, 2014 at 12:06PM
After Keillor, they can give the job to a fresh-baked apple pie, which will spend its entire presidency cooling on the porch.
February 21st, 2014 at 12:11PM
Alan: LOL.
February 22nd, 2014 at 9:16AM
As long as were moving back and back from the realer to thinner and thinner symbol stand-ins, why not take a page from real estate agents and reduce the pie itself to its simulacrum odor:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Mainstays-Room-Spray-Warm-Apple-Pie/16783671
We will then have moved to a no-dimensional figurehead (unless of course you count the nearly invisible spray itself) and not just the smell-sense it produces. And a good spray is better all around than a bad speech.