Nah! The latest arrest was only for armed robbery and attempted murder! Wait til he actually kills someone!
Oklahoma State, which so avidly recruited the running back to its freshman class, has this to say:
An OSU athletic department spokesperson said a press release concerning the arrest would be posted as a general statement but is not expecting one to be issued at this time.
A general statement regarding the arrest… Hm… We see that one of our freshmen has been arrested for attempted murder… Hm…
But not at this time! No, not yet! Let’s wait until all the facts are in. Otherwise, we’re rushing to judgment, like those guys on our recruiting staff who said Whoa, maybe not this guy… Only eighteen and look at his priors…
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Sportsprose-wise, there’s some great shit here:
The accusations levied against Thomas are significant, and one can only assume that Oklahoma State might have second thoughts about him if he is ultimately charged.
Thomas has a ton of talent, but OSU can’t afford much bad publicity in the wake of an extensive expose released by SI.com regarding the football program last year. [Oy, don’t make me read all five parts again! Short version: OSU football stinks to high heaven.]
There is no question that Thomas deserves his day in court, however, he is faced with an uphill battle. This looks bad for him regardless, but perhaps he will be able to learn from it and become a better person moving forward.
What’s not to like in this prose, Scathing Online Schoolmarm would like to know? The last paragraph puts four cliches in two sentences and leaves us feeling warm and runny at the thought of how much OSU’s man is going to learn from having tried to murder someone.
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Only for those who think they can handle it: UD‘s chronicle of the last few years of sports life at one of America’s largest toxic dumps, Oklahoma State University.
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“For more on your favorite athletes and their troubles with the law, visit us at thefumble.com.”
May 31st, 2014 at 9:04AM
He’s a poor little lamb who’s lost his way. Bang bang bang.
May 31st, 2014 at 3:05PM
I’m struck by the phrase “imminently possible.” Does this mean “may be imminent” – awkward but defensible – or is it a confusion with “eminently”?
May 31st, 2014 at 4:20PM
“Imminently possible” suggests that it is not currently possible but will be some time soon. So it won’t happen now, because it can’t. But it will be possible later (soon even), at which time it could happen but still might not (because at that later time it would only have become possible, which is still something less than actual but compatible with it). Plain as day.
May 31st, 2014 at 4:36PM
DRC: Eminently plain.
May 31st, 2014 at 4:36PM
Mr Punch: Confusion with ’eminently.’