Front page coverage in the New York Times ain’t chopped liver, even if you live in backwater Tallahassee and really personally couldn’t give a shit. There’s your life as a well-paid security guy at endless violent Florida State University official and unofficial events (plus your life as a city cop), and there’s everything else Out There in the land of haughty elites who don’t get football.

But it’s not just the latest front page thing. Last month they did another long front page thing. Hell, back in April they did a big ol’ Sunday Magazine article with a pretty picture and all…

Until a couple days ago, we didn’t stoop so low as to even answer any of this slander, but now word’s gone out that we gotta say or do something.

As the statement in this post’s headline suggests, we haven’t quite worked out what plays we’re gonna call… There’s the conduct an internal investigation play and there’s the do not conduct an internal investigation play and we’re still working that one out amongst ourselves…

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Over at the university seems like they’re also moving away from the stonewalling strategy, since, you know, when the New York Times does a big wee-wee on you, every other news outlet in the country (plus we’re starting to get international coverage) has to whip theirs out too. FSU’s new president, who’s a veteran local politician so you know he can handle it when our ways of doing things down here get unwelcome attention from the elites (His only loss to them so far is when they ganged up on his pet project of establishing a school of chiropractic medicine at FSU.), has sent a more-in-sorrow-than-in-anger letter to the FSU community:

Four experienced law enforcement officers were on site and none saw any indication of the driver being under the influence of alcohol or drugs. The implication that anyone involved in the accident had anything to do with a burglary is totally unsupported and offensive. Finally, there is no indication of any special treatment of the student-athletes by the officers involved.

Alcohol, drugs, burglary, special treatment… There’s a lot the president had to cover in this letter, and I like the way he tucked it all in to one paragraph down toward the bottom… I also like the way the phrase hit-and-run did not appear in the letter…

I think if we can keep muddying the waters (yes/no to internal investigation) and if FSU can keep the denials coming, we should be able to weather this.

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Only thing I’m worried about: What if the New York Times decides to investigate the courses the guys have been taking?