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Yale’s Large Hardon Collider

Managing Doctor Mahnensmith’s erections was for two decades a full-time job at Yale University, and for a nearby dialysis clinic. Various ongoing court cases describe him accelerating himself into the backs of seated nurses until he exploded.

The complaints say that in November 2013, Dr. Mahnensmith went into a conference room with several of the plaintiffs and stood behind one of them “thrusting his pelvis in a sexual manner into the back of her chair rocking it to and fro.” After another of the plaintiffs told him to sit down, the papers say, “Dr Mahnensmith replied with a smirk, ‘I’m not finished yet,’ and continued to sexually gratify himself until announcing to the group that he was finished.”

Margaret Soltan, April 13, 2015 11:34AM
Posted in: professors

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9 Responses to “Yale’s Large Hardon Collider”

  1. charlie Says:

    Is that a renal system in your lab coat, or are you just happy to see me????

  2. Van L. Hayhow Says:

    Another version: Is that a ten gallon hat, or are you just happy to see me?

  3. rich Says:

    Just wanted stop lurking long enough to say that this is the best headline I’ve seen in a long time. I was reading my kids a bedtime story this evening when it popped back into my head, and I couldn’t stop giggling. It’s been a long week already–thanks for the laugh.

  4. Margaret Soltan Says:

    rich: Many thanks. I was quite proud of myself for thinking of it, but I’m never sure if I’m right to be proud of these things. So thanks for the vote…

  5. Jack/OH Says:

    Try the Bubba test for social . . . er, discombobulation. If Bubba or Taejuan had been doing the same thing to Suzy in the factory lunchroom, how would it play in your mind’s eye? Something like, “Yeah, those people . . . what can you expect?”, maybe?

    Yeah, this post hit my inner sixth-grader, too.

  6. Stephen Karlson Says:

    I saw a screen capture over the weekend, one of the news stations (not Fox) reporting on the reopening of the collider, complete with the same mis-spelling …

  7. Alan Allport Says:

    Yep, best UD headline ever.

  8. Margaret Soltan Says:

    Thank you, Alan.

  9. MattF Says:

    Being a physicist, I misread the headline– but then said to myself, “Wait, Yale doesn’t have a Hadron Collider.” Good one.

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