America’s rapeabilliest campus prayed for a president able to deflect relentless incoming sexual assault claims, and God gave it the perfectly named Thrasher — a man willing to spend his twilight years (he’s in his seventies) thrashing back and forth like Bonnie and Clyde in their 1934 Ford Model 730 Deluxe Sedan as one sex-bullet after another smacks him pow right in the kisser.
As they pass the turkey, students, faculty, administration and alumni can reflect with gratitude on the way Thrasher’s long career as a Florida pol and lobbyist, er, seasoned him for the curious job of chief academic officer at a school with virtually no academics and virtually non-stop rape claims.
FSU is the star of a new film; it’s featured in big splashy New York Times articles; and just this morning, as FSU football fans begin to dig in to the bird, news outlets all the country are headlining the just-released content of court papers that detail special treatment for football players accused of rape, the fear of retaliation on the part of victims, and… you know … just the whole stinky stewpot of a school that wants everyone to shut the fuck up so it can watch men bash each others’ heads in.
And sure – things are closing in on FSU. Even the DOE is after them for mishandling the assault claims. But did Bonnie and Clyde give up? Did they run and hide and try to live respectable lives? No! They were what they were unto the breach! Sic Semper FSU and amen!
November 26th, 2015 at 10:05AM
here in the madteapartying world of Nebraska Nice we see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil:
http://www.omaha.com/huskers/football/tom-osborne-says-he-did-his-best-in-dealing-with/article_7c0ab153-ca21-5541-9dfc-38ca01ef67a9.html
November 28th, 2015 at 8:56AM
I want to say my local open-enrollment Podunk Tech is, likewise, “with virtually no academics”. Six-year grad rates at 33%; 12% for minorities. (That’s no misprint.) But there’s teaching and learning going on. A few grads go on to very selective grad and professional schools. One recently was awarded a Rhodes Scholarship. Maybe Just Enough University? As in there’s just enough good stuff going on to balance or obscure the bad stuff.