Applying chocolate to your football concussion is a surefire way to treat it, but only if you apply one specific make of chocolate, according to a University of Maryland study paid for in part by the maker of the chocolate.
Given that university’s recent move to a much rougher football league, these findings couldn’t be better timed. In fact it’s one of those win-win-win sort of things, making everyone happy – the chocolate manufacturer, the study’s author (the study has drawn national attention), the university, and chocolate-loving, concussion-prone Americans everywhere.
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Sure, there are naysayers. There were naysayers when the University of West Virginia, with money from Coca Cola, produced research that showed sugary drinks have almost nothing to do with obesity.
Scientists like those at the University of Maryland must simultaneously publish their research (well, the Maryland research hasn’t exactly quite yet been actually what you’d call published) and endure the disconfiture caused their institutions by a cacaophony of critics.
It’s a dark, bittersweet chapter in the history of the University of Maryland.
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UD thanks Elizabeth, a reader.
January 19th, 2016 at 7:19PM
Fifth Quarter Fresh is just the tonic –
Stops concussion from going chronic.
UMD says it’s so.
And they own it, you know.
Don’t blame them when you’re catatonic.
January 20th, 2016 at 8:46AM
Love it, adam.
January 20th, 2016 at 6:01PM
Ditto your cacaophony, UD.