1 Rich Rod is our shepherd; we shall not want.
2 He maketh us to lie to his wife: he leadeth us to his erection.
3 He bribeth our staff: he leadeth us to the path of visually enhanced underwear for his cock’s sake.
4 Yea, though we plead for jobs in other departments, we will get no response: for “Coach Rodriguez would be pissed.”
5 Our school preparest six million dollars for him to go away; yea, he will take the money and sue us for forty million more.
6 Surely his woman-beating players will follow us all the days of our life: and we will dwell in the house of The Rod for ever.
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UD thanks David and John.