To sport the anthem raising,
Sing, children, great and small;
Sing out, all rectums hazing,
Praise Football, one and all!
See how our team this year,
Which now is safely ended,
Hath in its love rear-ended
Our children far and near.
O coach and teammates praising
Whose love and grace abound!
Their wondrous anal grazing
Is sung the whole world ’round.
With digit, broom, and pool cue
They pierce our nether hole;
O football we adore thee
Our country’s heart and soul.