“Pitino maintains complete innocence throughout, and at one point says that he actually had his program become extra compliant after a 2015 escort scandal. As for that scandal? He, of course, knew nothing about it.”

Evil whoring assistant coach!
Evil whoring corporate roach!

Little boy innocent! Little boy blue!
Rick has no choice but to sue sue sue sue.

‘Rick Pitino Out at Louisville as Expected Amid Federal Probe’

Indeed, we knew that was coming.

What you might not have known is the other big news:

Rick Pitino has just been named Academic Provost at the University of North Carolina!

UD is compelled to report that she felt a smidgen of pity for Rick Pitino today.

It was while reading his letter of termination, signed by the latest vague desperate interim nowhere man running the University of Louisville yet deeper into the ground. As she read the guy’s list of Rick’s evil evil deeds, which must be listed in this letter in order for the school to fire him with cause and get a forty-four million dollar discount on the transaction, the following exchange from Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virgina Woolf? began running through my head:

George: You can sit there in that chair of yours, you can sit there with the gin running out of your mouth, and you can humiliate me, you can tear me apart … ALL NIGHT… and that’s perfectly all right … that’s OK…

Martha: YOU CAN STAND IT!

George: I CANNOT STAND IT!

Martha: YOU CAN STAND IT!! YOU MARRIED ME FOR IT!!

George: (Quietly.). That is a desperately sick lie.

Martha here is ol’ Rick, hotly sought after by UL and paid seven million dollars a year because no one cheats their way to a championship like Rick; because Rick’s a winner who sees what he wants in a restaurant and fucks it right there on the table; he’s a guy whose recruitment coaches run whorehouses in basketball dormitories, and whose program pays the biggest bribes to high school players, and… Louisville married him for it!. It wanted a world of gin-pissed vulgarians and pin-striped dress for success hypocrites to keep the ball rolling, and it correctly identified and highly rewarded Pitino as THE man to provide it.

But now! Now, just because of a teeny DOJ and FBI crackdown, it’s suddenly ooh what a nasty unethical person you are! We cannot stand you!

**************

I’m afraid Rick is well within his rights, just as Martha is, to point out that these qualities and behaviors are exactly why UL fell so expensively in love with him in the first place. UL loved him so much that they let him sweep up most of the money available at the University of Louisville. It is impossible to find words to describe how much UL loved Rick Pitino, but it is quite possible to look at the immense money, power, and adoration they gladly gave him all those years. Because he won championships, and that’s all UL cares about and ever will care about because it’s Kentucky and it’s UL and that’s that. The next strutting multimillionaire fuckhead they bring on board to win championships will do exactly the same things to win them. Rick knows this, and has a right to feel aggrieved.

“The Other Pitino is Dealing with a Sex Scandal at Minnesota”

The Pitino dynasty is at it again.

******************

A father and son named Pitino
Ran two basketball teams molto fino
A whorehouse, sex tapes
And assorted odd scrapes —
It’s a screenplay by Q. Tarantino

*****************

UD thanks John.

As Rick Pitino’s Days at the University of Louisville Become Numbered, the Locals Become Sentimental.

Absent proof of “willful misconduct” by Pitino, forcing him out could leave U of L on the hook for the balance of a contract that runs through the 2025-26 season at a cost of roughly $50 million…

Having accumulated enough wealth to market two Florida homes for a combined asking price exceeding $30 million, [Pitino] can probably afford to negotiate an exit package without hardball haggling…

In honor of Rick Pitino’s University of Louisville, let’s amend Steven Salzberg’s sentence.

He writes:

“Football makes a profit,” some claim. To that I would say, so what? Universities could make a profit running a casino too – should they do that?

*********************

Let’s change this to:

“Football makes a profit,” some claim. To that I would say, so what? Universities could make a profit running a brothel too – should they do that?

So it’s true! You coulda knocked me over with Rick Pitino’s new $50.93 million 10-year extension.

That whore’s profit-seeking screed, that pack of lies about Pitino’s University of Louisville basketball program and its recruitment parties – now some recruit has gone and confirmed most of it!

JaQuan Lyle visited the University of Louisville as a basketball recruit in 2013.

This week he sat down with NCAA investigators to talk about that trip.

CBS sports reports that Lyle confirmed the gist of allegations made in, “Breaking Cardinal Rules” that escorts provided him with sex and alcohol.

“You have to ask yourself, why would he lie about that? If he tells the truth, he’s not going to get in trouble, even if he took all sorts of benefits while he was there. It’s how the NCAA works. If he lied, and they can prove he lied, he won’t be able to play at Ohio State,” [a sports analyst] said.

In a hastily-called news conference, Coach Pitino said: “Well, what do you want? That’s what they pay me for.”

**********************

No, no. UD made up that last line.

All this, and Rick Pitino too!

From the New York Times:

Washington Monthly has recently released its new college ranking. It’s based on several factors, one of which is a comparison between a college’s graduation rate and the makeup of its student body.

… Toward the bottom of the ranking, the University of Louisville has an expected graduation rate of 59 percent and an actual rate of 44 percent.

Ya gotta admit: The University of Louisville is Great Copy.

[Former University of Louisville AD Tom] Jurich has been stung by the backlash that came along with his dismissal, but he owes it to a remarkable tolerance [at UL] for scandal. Rehiring tainted football coach Bobby Petrino in 2014 dented the school’s reputation, as did the multiple issues with [Rick] Pitino’s personal life and basketball program. Fixated on justifying Louisville’s inclusion in the Atlantic Coast Conference, Jurich was willing to take all the hits to the school’s image in exchange for on-field competitiveness.

… But now the school that compensated [Jurich and Pitino] at the very highest levels of their professions wants to blame the employees rather than itself for the current chaotic state of the department. Pitino was the active wrongdoer; we simply gave him more power than a third-world dictator. Jurich amassed too much clout; maybe because we paid him $5.3 million in 2016, more than the entire budget of the English, Math, Biology and History departments.

… Everyone needs a boss, and neither Pitino nor Jurich were adequately bossed in recent years. Former school president James Ramsey was busy arranging stealth sweetheart deals for himself and other university leaders (including Jurich), which helped lead to his ouster. The Board of Trustees was a rubber stamp. Lacking adequate oversight, the whole thing spun out of control.

And so we reach a point where the University of Louisville blames Pitino, and Pitino blames [his underlings] Andre McGee and Jordan Fair, and we’re supposed to believe that this institution led by wealthy and powerful alpha males was brought down by the sorcery of a former director of basketball operations and a first-year assistant coach. Call it trickle-up corruption.

The bit at the end about the alpha males is interesting… Is there even one woman at UL? As Fanny Dashwood would put it —

I declare, I am beginning to doubt of her existence!

Sing It: In the Christmas Spirit at University Diaries

SONG OF THE
UNIVERSITY OF LOUISVILLE
BASKETBALL RECRUIT

‘Come,’ they told me
Pa rum pum pum pum:
‘Your dorm has whores for free.’
Pa rum pum pum pum.
‘You’ll play at KFC.
Yes! KFC YUM!
It’s facing bankruptcy.
Pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum

After bribery
Pa rum pum pum pum
We lived in luxury
Pa rum pum pum pum
They brought their gifts to me
Pa rum pum pum pum
Rick’s boys took care of me
And we all kept mum
We all played dumb
Rum pum pum pum

Feds came to talk to me
Pa rum pum pum pum
‘Bout our conspiracy
Pa rum pum pum pum
UL told Rick to flee
Pa rum pum pum pum
He sued, and they sued he
And everyone’s scum
Shitting their bum
Rum pum pum pum

Yes, I played for you
Pa rum pum pum pum
Feel a bit dumb

You DOO-DOOs! Me wanna talk bout GAME. Me not wanna talk bout FBI. SHADDAP YOU FACE about FBI, DOO-DOOs!

Now that Rick Pitino’s out of commission, America’s filthiest, cheatingest, richest, college coach, John Calipari, struggles with the lamestream media:

Q. What is your reaction to the whole FBI investigation of college basketball? …

JOHN CALIPARI: Well, what’s out there right now is a black eye. But here is the thing for everybody here: I don’t want to come across as uneducated or dumb. None of us know where this thing’s going. So for me to really comment much on it, I mean, I don’t know where all this is going.

Obviously, what’s happened to this point isn’t good. At this point I don’t think me commenting without knowing all the facts is the right thing to do.

Q. How do you react to Mark Emmert’s statements yesterday? Do you think the culture of college basketball is so hopelessly corrupt that something has to change?

JOHN CALIPARI: I read the statement. I kind of liked it because at a point in there he mentioned about the students. At the end of the day, this is about the student-athletes.

I would say, again, this isn’t the format for me to go full boat in this. I would say if we make decisions about these kids, what’s right for these kids, we’re going to be right. If the NBA is worried about the NBA, and if the NCAA is worried about the NCAA, if each individual institution is just worried about themselves, and the last thing we think about are these kids, we’re going to make wrong decisions.

… Q. There’s a decent chance that next week Rick Pitino won’t be the coach at Louisville. Will you miss the rivalry in coaching against him?

JOHN CALIPARI: Look, it’s unfortunate, all the stuff that’s come down. But let’s talk about my team, please. Does anyone here have a question about my team, please?

Q. One more question about the FBI.

JOHN CALIPARI: Anybody have a question?

Q. Wait a minute. This is a Media Day, not Coach Day. I am entitled to ask a question.

JOHN CALIPARI: Ask it.

Q. You cannot answer it, fine.

JOHN CALIPARI: Ask it.

Q. The FBI reportedly has expanded into looking at Nike. Kentucky is a Nike school. What reassurance would you give your fan base, the Big Blue Nation, if they’re anxious about what this could mean?

JOHN CALIPARI: Again, you’re asking like you know something that I don’t know.

Q. That’s all I know is right there. If a fan would put two and two together…

JOHN CALIPARI: Wait a minute. We don’t know what you’re saying, if it’s true. Do we know if it’s true?

Q. It’s been reported.

JOHN CALIPARI: Oh, that makes it true.

I have no comment to it. I mean, we haven’t been contacted. The NCAA hasn’t contacted us. We’re going about our business of coaching this team.

How about a basketball question since it isn’t my day.

Did you click on that first Calipari link? The one that takes you to years of coverage of this vile, greedy, cynic? I think you should.

Our Universities: The Pride of a Nation.

Corruption is now synonymous with top-tier college [sports] programs, but typically, lower level coaches, like an assistant coach, take most of the fault while the head coach and higher officials continue business as usual. [Rick] Pitino was set to serve a five-game suspension this season for [the University of] Louisville’s sex scandal last season. He escaped that investigation with only a suspension because he claimed to have been unaware of the actions of his staffer, Andre McGee.

Pitino’s reaction at being named in the [DOJ/FBI corruption] allegations, followed by statements of being shocked and unaware, won’t do him any favors. It has been amazing how NCAA coaches are constantly submerged in accusations of misconduct, but high-profile names like Pitino get away with measly suspensions. The next step for Pitino is to try to recoup any of the $40 million left on his contract at Louisville. Through his lawyer, he stated that he is owed all of it, but messy contract disputes are sure to ensue after his termination is final.

I believe his reputation would be too damaged for any basketball team to consider giving him another coaching job, but with these types of actions being so common in NCAA sports, another team might just overlook Pitino’s recent history.

A corrupt national embarrassment, AND a deadbeat.

The University of Louisville athletics program, rotten to the core, doesn’t even turn a profit. If you’re going to prostitute yourself in every possible way, as UL has done, at least make some money doing it. But of course the corruption on that campus involves giving its coaches obscene salaries, building pointless sports palaces, bribing recruits, and anything else twisted and rotten you can think of. ‘Fraid there’s no money left over after all that to give academics, and in fact athletics gets immense subsidies from this beyond-pathetic university. UD wonders how it feels for faculty and students to sacrifice for decades, only to discover that all the money they’ve had withheld has gone to world-historical douches like Rick Pitino, currently preparing to sue the in-the-credit-gutter school for $44 million.

But I guess knowing how much of that money goes to disgraced ex-AD Tom Jurich makes it all better!

“Over the past seven years, through a byzantine array of longevity and performance bonuses, base pay raises and tax subsidies, Jurich collected total compensation of $19,279,710, an average of $2.76 million per year.
“Last year, his taxable income — enriched by the vesting of a $1.8 million annuity plus $1.6 million from the university to pay his taxes on it — totaled $5.3 million.”

*****************

The university budgeted less for its Biology ($3.3 million), English ($4 million), History ($2.4 million) and Mathematics ($3.5 million) departments, the [Louisville] Courier-Journal’s research showed, and his listed income was more than double that of the next-highest-paid AD, Ohio State’s Gene Smith ($1.98 million).

******************

Much of the remaining money, after Pitino and Jurich took what they took to drag the school through the mud, was allegedly snapped up by disgraced ex-UL president, James Ramsey, and his cronies.

Sing It.

SONG OF THE TRUSTEES

We’re off to dump Pitino
The god of our campus that was.
We knew he was a bit of a scuzz
If ever a scuzz there was.
And now that he’s going to jail one day
We’ve got to make sure he goes away
For cause for cause for cause for cause for cause!
Because of the terrible things he does.
We’re off to dump Pitino
The god of our campus that was.

Wotta Shocker.

Interim Louisville president Gregory Postel sent a letter to suspended coach Rick Pitino last month saying the FBI investigation into college basketball corruption clearly implicated him and the program…

“The allegations contained in the complaint … insinuate a scheme of fraud and malfeasance in the recruitment of student-athletes involving you and multiple members of your coaching staff in violation of federal law and NCAA Division I Bylaws.”

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