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Tuesday, October 26, 2004
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“In the world of Mercedes, Louis Vuitton, and vacation properties, high price means high status. At least some portion of affluent parents would be disappointed if college prices fell; they want the schools they patronize overpriced and thus exclusionary.” Easterbrook, The New Republic
TO: Undergraduate Oligarchs Consortium [for background, see UD posts dated 4/23/04 and 6/13/04] FROM: Josh SUBJECT: Rumor and Reality Veyron/Collegiate, Veyron/Collegiate… everyone’s talking about Veyron/Collegiate. Is it for real? Is it going to happen? Although I’ve been privy for a couple of months to some insider chat about this college-in-the-works, I’ve kept quiet until I had something of substance to share with the UOC. It goes without saying that any such school would want as little publicity as possible, and indeed that interested parties couldn’t simply “apply” to it, but would have to be invited for consideration, etc. So information as it emerges about Veyron/C. should be understood to be confidential, to be shared only among consortium members, please. But yes, first of all, the rumors are true! A new college designed with people like us in mind is a go for liftoff in Fall 06. A group of investors looking for an appropriate educational setting for their own children and for the children of other people similarly situated decided, about three years ago, to establish an independent private college with two campuses, one in Telluride for the mountain sports semester, and the other in Monterey for the water. Named after this year’s most expensive car in the world (“Volkswagen's forthcoming Bugatti Veyron 16.4 coupe … will go on sale … for what could be as much as $1.1 million. The 987-horsepower Veyron has a mission like that of McLaren's old F1, which could go 240 mph and went out of production in May 1998: to be beyond any other sports car out there.”),Veyron/Collegiate will undergo an annual name change based on each year’s most expensive car. (This will also, it is hoped, help keep Veyron somewhat elusive to the outside world.) Its student body will be drawn from the most affluent one percent of incoming college students from around the world. In curriculum, faculty, and activities, Veyron/Collegiate will be designed to reflect the values and concerns of this stratum. Here’s what else I’ve learned about Veyron: *** Private airport, private heliport. *** Ritz Carlton timeshare residences. *** Limousine service. The library apparently doubles as a spa; think hot rock massage while you read. Golf carts make walking optional. Classrooms look like gentlemens’ clubs, with no restrictions on smoking, cell phones, music, bourbon. Campus will have its own Neiman Marcus annex for necessaries. Courses are chosen with an eye toward archaism and/or inutility, as in ***History of Papyrus ***Ancient Erotica ***The Limerick Tuition will be $100,000 per semester, with a one-time class membership fee of $500,000 due first week of your freshman year. More information as it becomes available to me. |