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Friday, March 18, 2005
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SPRING BREAK IN SOUTH PARK ' Cartman: Ma'am, I need to clear out your giggling stoners and your drum-circle hippies RIGHT NOW, or soon they're gonna attract something much worse! Elderly Woman: Ooooo. What's that? Cartman: The college know-it-all hippies. [The neighborhood, day. A red car pulls up to the curb. On the back window is a decal which says "University of Colorado at Boulder." Three men and three women step out of the car] Driver: [wearing green jacket] Wow, my friend Brittany was right. This is a really laid-back place. Woman 1: [wearing tan jacket] Yeah, this will be a great place to spend spring break. [Stan, Kyle, and Kenny approach them] Kyle: Hey, let's ask them. [the boys are wearing shoulder totes with magazines peeking out from them.] Stan: All right. [the two parties meet] 'Scuse me. [holds out a clipboard] Hello, we are selling magazine subscriptions for our community youth program. Would you like to help young people like us by purchasing a subscription of your choice? Driver: Oh wow, you guys shouldn't be doing that. Don't you know what you're doing to the world? Kyle: Wha- whataya mean? Man 1: [wearing a guitar over his back] You're playing into the corporate game! See, the corporations are trying to turn you into little Eichmanns so that they can make money. [the other man is busily eating chips] Stan: Who are the corporations? Woman 2: [a blonde with a psychedelic fish on her shirt] The corporations run the entire world. And now they fooled you into working for them. Stan: Are you serious?? We never heard that. Driver: We just spent our first semester at college. Our professors opened our eyes. The government is using its corporate ties to make you sell magazines so they can get rich. Kyle: Ugh! Those dirty liars! Kenny: (Sonofabitch!) [throws down his shoulder tote] Man 2: [has finished his chips] This is a really nice town you have here. That's why the corporations are trying to use you to take it down. Stan: Well... Well what do we do? Driver: Just hang with us for a bit. We'll fill you in on everything you haven't been told. ' |