Jim Acho, Sports Review Magazine:

'I have received close to 1000 emails the last month, from people asking me to address this. Initially I disregarded, but it reared it's [First of many spelling errors. Dude cannot spell.] ugly head again, after a piece last week by ESPN's Pat Forde, a writer I generally respect [Pompous. Do you think we care who you do and don't respect? UD respects people who know how to spell.].

Well, its been a tumultuous two weeks for the folks at Michigan, I'm sure, having to defend itself against comments made by a once-proud alum who decided to take a cheap shot (twice) [Time to start listing the cliches... reared ugly head... once-proud... take a cheap shot...] at the nation's finest institution for blending sports and academics at a high level [Who says it's the finest? I do. End of argument. What a fool.]. This wasn't Fresno State he was chipping at, but Michigan. He took indirect shots at a program overseen by my wife [Yikes. This piece is a pissy defense of the little lady. Way to make your case.] and more directly, Lloyd Carr and his program. Now, what his motivation was for spouting off with such sophomoric vitriole [Spelling continues to eat shit.] is beyond many, though methinks it has to do with insecurity and some serious jealousy. [As opposed to my motivation -- Outrage on behalf of my wife.] What other reason could there be for going after not only his alma mater [God forbid you should ever criticize your university.], but spreading rumors about fellow Pac-10 school USC and coach Pete Carroll, who absolutely lambasted the comparitively [Spelling vastly shitty.] young coaching whippersnapper (Harbaugh's in his 40's, older than say a Brett Bielema, but never a head coach at this level) for running off at the mouth.

I've met Jim Harbaugh before, at a coaching clinic, and he is a nice guy. Handsome sonofagun, too. If Tom Cruise had been a real-life football player, he'd have been Harbaugh, I imagine. He showed a lot of moxie as a qb at UM and in the league--I was chatting today with former Rams qb Roman Gabriel (who belongs in the HOF, if not for his stats, his many guest appearances on tv shows in the 60's/70's) and it occured [Spelling creating a merdacious firmament which spreads throughout the essay.] to me that Harbaugh and Gabriel's careers mirrored each other, though in different eras: both played 15 years, both threw for nearly 30,000 yards, both went into coaching when their NFL careers ended. In other words, Harbaugh was legit. A gritty player whom Bo Schembechler adored. And perhaps that's what hurts--some of what Harbaugh said was true (as it applies to all schools at this level, not just Michigan) but Harbaugh pointed out Michigan, and it was said to dig, to jab, to prod a program no longer overseen by the emeritus, Bo Schembechler, who passed last November. Harbaugh never would have said what he did had Bo been alive. So, to me it smacks of cowardice. Plus, Harbaugh referenced grad rates from an old media guide without knowing the full scoop, and he was off-base on the crux of his argument. [Wacky sentence. His basic approach, of course, is Guy Writing bigtime -- Got his shoulder around your shoulder, confiding, one good ol' boy to another, in your ear... And that's fine, fine. But then he pops a word like referenced in and you think what a confused person...] As they say in the D, his mouth wrote a check his ass can't cash. [Hadn't heard this one. UD's hardly in a position to complain about vulgarity, but this saying is, er, a bit obscure...]

Now, does every D-I school let in some marginal kids to play ball? Yes. EVERY SCHOOL does, with the exception of the academies, which really cannot compete (see ex-AFA coach Fisher DeBerry's public begging for the admission of more black athletes two years ago) year in, year out, at this level. Michigan graduated 22 of 25 football players last year, a rate you can stack up against any school in the country. Jim didn't mention that though. Instead, he chose to talk about degrees, and now "general studies" was something unseemly. Well, we know that Michigan is an Ivy League-caliber school, right? That is uncontroverted [Again, suddenly uncontroverted... Just weird.] --it takes a 4.0 to get in. So you're saying that one of this prestigious school's majors (a major that dates back a century) is suddenly bogus because of football players? That it was okay for say, James Earl Jones in 1955, but not Chad Henne in 2007? Preposterous. How many of us ever use our specific degree in the occupation which pays us, anyway? The whole topic is absurd. [Absurd, preposterous. We're sputtering. UD's told you about high emotionality and argumentation.]

As a lawyer who has handled a number of defamation/slander/libel cases, I'm careful to say that I have no proof Jim Harbaugh was drunk (I do know the Thunderbird jingle above is lost on some of you young 'uns) when he spouted off about UM and USC. And I won't call him a drunk (as he's been referred to on sports radio and over the net by some), either--hell, we all make mistakes in this life. [Hard to think of a better example of sleazy rhetoric than these sentences.] ...[W]e do know that Harbaugh has been drunk before: 1) He got a DUI in recent months and had to take alcohol classes for those guilty of DUI and 2) he left his wallet in a bar just a few months ago. Now, is THAT the standard Stanford holds itself to? Obviously not. The moral here: don't cast stones when you're in a glass house. Especially when the reason you even have that house is because of a man who is now deceased. Don't spit on Bo Schembechler's grave, Jim Harbaugh; he taught you better. Your father Jack taught you better. Apologize, show contrition, and all will be forgotten; eventually, you'll be accepted back into the fold. But I think Jim may be too stubborn to do so. And that will be his undoing. [Really disgusting. At this point, only Mrs. Acho is nodding.] In the end, I think Harbaugh, who is making enemies among prominent coaches at an alarming rate, is jealous of two programs: USC and Michigan. And he foolishly went after both. A still-irate Carroll and USC will thrash Stanford. Oh, and check out Phil Steele's last two editions and see what Harbaugh's predecessor Buddy Teevens recruited. Buddy Hackett would have done a better job recruiting. He left Stanford bare as Mother Hubbard's cupboard [Gawd.], and Harbaugh will likely go bowl-less the next three years, have his contract bought out, and take over Jack's old squad, Western Kentucky. Let's just hope the Hilltoppers don't have too many general studies majors there.'

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