Of course the world’s scummiest organization – FIFA – wants to get in bed with Saudi Arabia.

FIFA’s [scroll down] acceptance of Saudi sponsorship will mean VISIT SAUDI signs all over stadia where women are playing.

Since no self-respecting woman would go anywhere near that stinking desert, plastering unignorable ads enticing us to journey to the land of mandatory thick black abayas and enforced infantilizing sex segregation is a little rich, ain’t it? Let’s see what World Cup players have to say about it.

FIFA should be “‘deeply ashamed” even to consider such a thing, says one player who clearly doesn’t know much about this shameless organization. “Totally inappropriate,” says another. “Bizarre,” says yet another.

It begins to look as though FIFA might back out of this brilliant idea; but the filthy pigs who run the thing are so far probably just trying to figure out why anyone would object to it. Maybe VISIT TEHRAN, LADIES! signs would be better…?

FIFA, Qatar, Greece, and Italy.

These corruption hotspots have generated a corruption scandal, and the response of the Euro Parliament is “shock.”

We are “shocked.” SHOCKED. We are “reeling.”

Scusi, but UD doubts the EP’s shocked. Do they think that if you name your organization No Peace Without Justice, or No Impunity, that makes you a good person? These organizations (now known as No Justice Without a Piece of the Action, and No Punity) are simply names, and any set of values might in actuality be attached to them.

Do you know of any country that calls itself The Democratic Republic of that isn’t a tyranny? Do we really need to review these notes?

Similarly, we are supposed to be shocked because in this scandal all the greedy mfs are socialists?

I mean, let’s not be naive.

*********************************

While this scandal has rocked Brussels, the allegations have come as no great surprise to those who know the European institutions, especially the Parliament.

“The Parliament has tolerated a culture of impunity for years,” says Nicholas Aiossa, deputy director of Transparency International EU, an anti-corruption organization. “There is virtually no oversight or repercussions for the way that MEPs spend their allowances and we have seen those funds misused so many times.”

Aiossa believes that institutional corruption is only a small part of what would make an MEP such an inviting target for those seeking to influence European politics.

“The Parliament collectively has a lot of power over the direction of policy that provides access to an enormous market of over 400 million citizens. The MEPs themselves, however, often have a very low profile outside of the Brussels bubble, which probably helps avoid scrutiny.”

Who can be surprised that FIFA, world’s most disgusting international body…

… finds Russia a perfectly acceptable soccer team? I mean, why not… ? What’s the problem… ?

Well, the main problem is that all of Russia’s opponents refuse to play them.

What is Sepp Blatter’s (the song is ended, but the melody lingers on) FIFA going to do?

FIFA shitpile so high no one can keep track of it.

As Sepp Blatter (talk about a blast from the past!) finally gets indicted, this New York Times writer does his best, within the length restrictions of typical American newspaper articles, to summarize the hundred or so years of everyone within fifteen feet of FIFA stealing all of its money. The hilarious larcenous briberous free for all which is professional soccer just keeps rolling along, of course; but nothing in the organization’s history will ever come up to the tightly organized crime that Blatter oversaw. No wonder he is the recipient of so many honorary degrees.

Last year, the foulest of foul organizations, FIFA, said it might suspend all Greek soccer.

Ostentatiously corrupt FIFA and outrageously violent Greece got together this time last year and issued mucho this is really serious language after months of match riots culminated in a team owner rushing the field aiming his gun at officials and threatening to kill them.

Today’s Greece and today’s FIFA are a match made in heaven.

So obviously nothing came of this ominous concern about violence because life is about collecting money for yourself while watching your sport (high-profile soccer is becoming a violent-fascists-only spectacle all over the world) and also your country crumble into the dust.

La lutte continue. So what.

FIFA:

There is no bottom.

‘The Russian World Cup has been troubled by politics from the start, when the country was awarded the tournament by FIFA in a 2010 vote wildly believed to have been tainted by corruption.’

Giggle, giggle, goes Scathing Online Schoolmarm.

No.

Make that laugh out loud.

Talk about Freudian slips getting by reporters and their editors.

In an article stating the obvious – Moscow under the imminent World Cup regime will be both the world’s strictest police state and the world’s violent epicenter – the LA Times writer can’t help but let slip the even more obvious point that Russian corruption, in this and every other sphere, is not only widely, but wildly, credited.

Foul and Filthy FIFA…

presiding over vile and violent world soccer, gets desperate enough to go the girl route.

“It is time to treat him with the contempt he deserves. Withdraw the affectations of achievement, like his honorary doctorate from De Montfort University in Leicester, one of 76 awards listed in his suitably surreal biography on the Fifa website.”

Back in November 2014, in The Independent, Michael Calvin noted Sepp Blatter’s honorary degree from De Montfort University. The award’s citation reads in part: “He is forthright, visionary, ethical …”

And before you smirk – here are some other honorary degree recipients:

Bernie Madoff.

Lance Armstrong.

Jamie Dimon.

It was only a matter of time before someone noticed parallels between FIFA and …

… the NCAA.

“[B]ribery and racketeering and wire fraud are only one part of FIFA’s problems when it comes to the organization’s image and the upcoming World Cup tournaments.”

Yeah, that’s nothing. Bribery racketeering wire fraud, forget it. There’s so much more.

FIFA: Lacking Blatter Control

Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Oh dear, where can Sepp Blatter flee?
Oh dear, Qatar is up a tree,
FIFA has had quite a scare.

******************

Old World and New, folks – Old World and New. Two notorious all-male criminal syndicates gather for their respective high-level organizational meetings. The American group chooses as its venue a tits and ass sports bar overlooking a parking lot in a shopping mall in Waco Texas. The Euros choose a five-star Swiss hotel with views of Lake Zurich and the Alps. The Americans resolve their differences with each other and with the police outside the venue by shooting wildly. The Euros go quietly.

Yes, when it comes to class, the old country still has us beat.

**********************

In 2011, Emory University was touting the achievements of Aaron Davidson, 93C. Aaron is currently awaiting charges on – let’s see – bribery, bribery, bribery, bribery, and bribery.

**********************

When you control the most popular product of the most popular sport on earth, you can do [anything]. Neither the shady awarding of World Cups nor the thousands of slaves that will die in Qatar building World Cup stadiums has made a serious dent in FIFA’s power. One can only hope this will.

**********************

International soccer has a notorious reputation for corruption and intrigue, one that contrasts sharply with its squeaky-clean image in America. For millions here, the sport represents an antidote to the cynical, alienating gloss of the NFL, NBA, and MLB. Don’t buy it.

***********************

The “sheet” play.

The OLYMPICS???

Wow. Next you’ll be telling me FIFA‘s corrupt!

FI – FI – FI – FINALLY

FIFA Will Ban Russia, Ejecting It From World Cup Qualifying

Mr UD points out that if the world’s cruddiest organization hadn’t done this, Russia would automatically have won the group prelims, since no one was going to play them.

What a morale booster for Putain’s people – who can certainly use it at this point – this would have been!

‘[MIT’s] chumminess [with Epstein] suggests a deeper and more intractable moral rot in American academia: It shows that when a billionaire (or, in Epstein’s case, a faux billionaire) comes calling, men in the ivory tower can’t resist lowering their golden locks to let the plutocrat climb aboard.’

Certain universities – Louisville, USC, Yeshiva, the University of Miami – have the smell of more or less criminal enterprises. They’re always generating high-level, multifaceted, scandal; some of their trustees are crooked or even criminal financiers. Yeshiva had Bernard Madoff as treasurer; Ezra Merkin also sat on their board. Also, I believe, Ira Rennert. The school continues to have as a trustee Zygmunt Wilf. These are not pretty people.

Now, Harvard and MIT were indeed buddies with Jeffrey Epstein; Harvard even celebrates as an emeritus professor Alan Dershowitz, at least an Epstein intimate, and at most (according to one of Epstein’s slaves) a secret sharer in the sex. Its erstwhile president, who helped run a hedge fund while president, hung out with Epstein too. (He also hung out with Andrei Shleifer…) But these schools are not the rackety dives those other schools are. They’re not just in it for the money. Nor are they just in it for the sports: The heavy campus hand of plutocrat college sports fans (the recently departed T. Boone Pickens at Oklahoma State; Phil Knight at Oregon) generates scandals, too – but these are the tired, expected scandals of the jock school.

No, MIT and Harvard are great schools, serious schools, productive schools – they are among the world’s greatest intellectual institutions. They fuck with plutocrats because of their professors’ smokin’ ambition to understand, to invent, to cure. They want money, money, and more money to fund their projects. To be sure, some of this generative creative activity makes some of their professors personally wealthy — the ex-head of MIT’s Media Lab took money from Epstein for his own investments, which adds to the embarrassment of it all… More commonly, professors monetize their medical and technical breakthroughs, producing all kinds of conflict of interest trouble at cutting edge places like Stanford…

We little people, looking in at all of this from the outside, are assured that COIs can be “managed” – the word is always managed – and we shouldn’t worry our pretty little heads. Yessir!

**************

Now look. Most people are pretty greedy; many putrid plutocrats realize that a university affiliation can clean them up real good. It’s a marriage made in heaven. But here’s what UD finds remarkable: MIT’s endowment is close to 17 billion; Harvard’s is close to forty billion. In ten years or so, Harvard’s wealth will be, say, a hundred billion. Harvard is a superplutocrat.

These schools are currently in trouble for promiscuous plutocrat fraternization; but given how INSANELY – not to say unconscionably – rich they are, why is this sort of thing happening at all? Just make an appointment with the “super-secret and dictatorial Harvard Corporation” and explain to them that you’d rather dip into the school’s billions and billions and billions than have to take research money from a guy in jail for sexually enslaving fifteen year olds. The worst they can say is no!

And while we’re at it – Why do superbillionaires like Harvard feel compelled to appoint rich turds like Epstein visiting fellows? We know that legacy parents can pay their kids’ way into Harvard; we know that rich parents can bribe coaches to get their kids into schools like Harvard and Yale. I’m not sure we knew that profit-oriented Harvard faculty can gift generous rich guys official appointments. Not a good look. Not a good look at all. But when Larry Summers spends his presidency running a hedge fund, losing $1.8 billion of Harvard’s endowment on market gambles, and defending a faculty crony who misused, for personal gain, government funds to Harvard, whadaya expect? That crony cost Harvard tens of millions in federal penalties, and it made not one bit of difference in terms of his high-profile position in Harvard’s economics department. That’s the way plutocracies work, kiddies. Plutocracies are even smart enough to know when their workings have become too public, which is why right after Larry Summers, Harvard appointed preachy anti-materialist Drew Faust (‘And while you’re at it, find me a woman, for crap sake!”) to maintain the non-profit theatrics.

Skeptical of the clean-up crew function of women when plutocrat sausage parties get out of hand? Read and learn. As FIFA went, so went Harvard – when things get truly desperate and you can’t hide what you’ve been doing any longer, Find A Woman, Pronto. You can always go right back to men when it all blows over.

***********

As ever, sing it.

[Before and after his conviction in 2008, Epstein was a regular on the masturbatory tech gadfly circuit — an attendee and sponsor of “billionaire dinners” and related sausage-factory soirees at which ultrawealthy men (among them the founders of Amazon and Google), elite scientists and various other male luminaries discussed the future they were collectively trying to build (or, depending on your perspective, squander.)]

***********

The party’s over

It’s time to find us a dame

Until we start up again

I’m going to miss our game

It’s time to wind up

The masquerade

There’s no more Epstein

To keep us paid…

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