“Make it Gohmert! Make it Gohmert!”

And…. YES. A perennial favorite of this blog, Rep. Louis Gohmert (Texas), appears on the ultra-exclusive list of GOP reps said to have taken important roles in organizing January 6.

As UD scanned this article, the mantra Make it Gohmert echoed in her mind; and, bingo. She is delighted beyond description at the prospect of his big ol’ lawsuit on this matter (lawsuit-filing-wise, Louie’s model is of course DJT), plus the spilling of the details of his involvement in the historic event.

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Largest context, of course:

This remains perhaps the most important part of the whole investigation: the period of hours in which Trump gleefully watched his supporters try to hunt down the members of Congress and indeed Trump’s Vice President and refused efforts to calm the situation or order federal troops to stop the assault on the Capitol.

From Rep. Louis Gohmert’s Notice of Appeal to the Fifth Circuit of the US Court of Appeals.

That, having denied plaintiff’s urgent petition that the Vice President of the United States be forced to personally decide the outcome of presidential elections, the court immediately grant Representative Gohmert the following injunctive relief;

that every American female who voted Democratic be forced to suck my dick;

that Jill Biden have the title “Dr.” forcibly withdrawn from her name, after which see above;

that the two Kims (Cardashian; Goowheelfoil) be forced to assume the Presidency/Vice Presidency within the next two weeks;

after which see first clause;

that Steven Lubet and his so-called Rule 11 be forced to suck my dick;

that Mike Leach be fired from Mississippi State and forced to coach at my alma mater, Texas A&M.

Respectfully submitted, in lieu of the streets running with blood,

Louis Buller Gohmert Jr.

Gohm and Gohmert 4

They love him in Texas.

Gohmert? UD has a limerick for him, too.

She has already shared with you the limerick she wrote long ago about Jonathan Turley; now that Louis Gohmert has popped up in the impeachment proceedings, UD brings back an old limerick she wrote about his frustrated efforts to have the National Portrait Gallery remove a bust of Margaret Sanger.

A congressman famed for his anger
Wants museums to bust Margaret Sanger.
Their refusal leaves Louie
– At zero for two-y –
To calm himself down with his wanger.

Gohmert at the Galleries.

A congressman famed for his anger
Wants museums to bust Margaret Sanger.
Their refusal leaves Louie
– At zero for two-y –
To calm himself down with his wanger.

Absolutely chilling advance word has begun emerging …

… that at least one, and as many as three, Republican congresspeople plan to immolate themselves inside the Capitol as an act of protest against (in words that some are attributing to them) “Anthony Fauci’s slaughter of millions of innocent people, and Nancy Pelosi’s terror attack on this sacred building.”

Inspired by this iconic Buddhist monk, Rep. Jim Jordan and Sen. Rand Paul (these are apparently the most likely names) will set themselves aflame in the center of the Senate, in an effort, also, to distract attention from the ongoing testimony of policemen present at the January 6 insurrection.

Louie Gohmert, rumored to be a third self-immolater, has, according to some sources, said that he “no longer wants to live in a world in which Jake Ellzey beats Susan Wright.”

Obviously, if this rumored event actually happens, it will be an unprecedented trauma for the country, the ultimate twisted act of fidelity to Donald Trump. Whatever your politics, you’ve got to hope that their families and colleagues are able to dissuade these men from this grotesque act.

‘They’d flown in to undo an election as if it were no bigger deal than a weekend getaway. They expected to march on the Capitol, restore Trump to the throne, memorialize the moment for Instagram and then travel home unscathed, as if what happens in Washington in broad daylight with the world’s news media watching stays in Washington.’

Farhad Manjoo frets over the power of the reactionary paranoid media and how it’s leading our people astray, but it ain’t that. That’s a symptom. That’s merely their reading material.

There are two primary causes of violent insurrection in today’s America:

  1. Arsenal Sadness: Most people solve the problem of arsenal sadness by unlocking their arsenal and killing themselves, or their wife, or both, with a selected weapon from it. They are sad because they have spent decades, and tens of thousands of dollars they don’t have, amassing a world-class armory, and have been unable to use it. It sits, a seething reproach to their promise to themselves that someday they would spray some setting with bullets and everyone would pay attention to them. These people have what used to be called an itchy trigger finger. They are actively looking for occasions to pop someone; they open carry in desperate hopes that in the course of this or that ordinary day they can whip out their semi-automatic and do a wee-wee on the Waffle House lawn. Scaring people with their AWS-16 Beowulf just doesn’t do the trick anymore; they’re still sad. What better target than the national leadership of American democracy? It’s cathartic; it’s a culmination; it’s a hoot. If Stephen Paddock hadn’t prematurely shot his wad in Las Vegas, he’d have been blasting his way into the Pence family secure location on January 6. Ditto Adam Lanza.
  2. Stupidity: This is the most thoughtful analysis of American stupidity UD has found. Yes, it is a long read; yes, it is somewhat pedantic. But the author captures better than anyone I know the roots and significance of the globally recognized idiocy of many Americans, their hatred of intellectuals, and their love of Louie Gohmert, Sarah Palin, and Tommy Tuberville. Like the almost seventy percent of Americans who cannot name our three branches of government, Senator Tuberville, pride of Bama, cannot … name our three branches of government. I would not be surprised if Senator Tuberville thinks he sits on the Supreme Court. The archē-idiot, the person who took the ultimate, most powerful, opportunity to do good in the nation and the world and turned it into the foulest, most degenerate, most pointless killing field this country has ever seen, directs these people in their political activity. He shows them where to point their Beowulfs.

Oh solutions. Solutions. Yes, yes, solutions!

Fuck if I know.

Having Lost his Appeal…
…Rep. Louis Gohmert pounds his tin drum at the door of the Supreme Court.

“[T]he wrestlers who have come forward have been maligned by Jordan and his colleagues as liars, paid operatives in a left-wing conspiracy, and now agents of the deep state. By next week they’ll be crisis actors.”

Shades of James Tracy, Mike Leach, and other campus conspiracists.

Rather than simply acknowledging the Sandusky/Nyang’oro Principle at our most sports-obsessed schools – university administrators can’t and won’t control anything having to do with big-ticket athletics – Jim Jordan and his fellow conspiracists deny the fucking obvious and the obvious fucking at one more degenerate American university sports program.

Called to account for what happened at Ohio State, they reach way, way outside the orbit of anyone’s moral responsibility.

Indeed the Deadspin writer I quote in my headline is right: Eventually Jordan and Louie Gohmert and company will determine that like the “dead” “kids” of Sandy Hook and Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, their accusers from the wrestling team are all crisis actors.

Headline of the Day

CONGRESSIONAL MUTANT LOUIE GOHMERT STICKS UP FOR
JIM JORDAN: ‘THESE FORMER WRESTLERS WERE ADULTS.’

To paraphrase …

Freud, the sexual thought of adult Republicans is a dark continent for psychology.

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Josh Marshall on the GOP welcoming women back inside its big tent:

Coming off [Mike] Huckabee’s comments this morning about incentivizing horny women with birth control, Rep. Louis Gohmert says government tries to “lure” single moms into “servitude” with welfare…

‘War on Women? Please. We’re the Ones Who Respect You for Not Being Sluts!’ …

Ready, aim…

FIRE.

This case seems tailored to that organization, which defends free speech rights in universities.

Louie Gohmert, a Texas pol with a hell of a temper, went and got the director of art galleries at Stephen F. Austin State University fired. The director mentioned in a conversation that he thought Gohmert was a fear-monger.

You’re not supposed to lose your job for stating your opinions.

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