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(Tenured Radical)

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

OOH! OOH!
I WANNA BE FIRST
WITH THIS!


So much so that I’m not going to bother coming up with insanely clever puns or anything -- I’m just going to let you enjoy the two versions of this story that are out there so far. I’m sure competing versions are, er, in the pipeline:

VERSION I:

HARVARD PROFESSOR ACCUSED OF STEALING MANURE
By Associated Press, 4/6/2005 10:14

ROCKPORT, Mass. (AP) A Harvard economics professor has been accused of neglecting the standard market practice of paying for goods and services by trying to steal a truckload of manure from a horse farmer.

Stable manager Phillip Casey says Martin Weitzman, Harvard University's Ernest E. Monrad Professor of Economics, has been stealing manure from Charlie Lane's Rockport farm for years.

Police said said Casey found Weitzman on the property last Friday, so he blocked in Weitzman's pickup truck and called police. Weitzman got angry, Casey said, then offered to pay for the manure he'd already taken. But Casey said he wouldn't budge because he wanted the thefts to stop.

"He offered me $20 for it and then $40 for it," Casey said.

Casey said the land was marked private property and Weitzman, 63, had been warned before.

"He's been doing it for years," Casey told the Gloucester Daily Times.

The farm sells the manure for $35 a truckload and also uses it to fertilize a pasture.

Rockport police officer Michael Marino said Weitzman, who lives in neighboring Gloucester, is charged with larceny under $250, trespassing, and malicious destruction of property for tearing up some land with his tires.

Weitzman did not immediately return calls to his home or office on Wednesday morning. His attorney also did immediately return a call on Wednesday.




VERSION II:

PURLOINED POOP LANDS HARVARD PROF IN DOO-DOO

By Thomas Caywood [here's hoping he didn't come up with the headline]

Wednesday, April 6, 2005 - Updated: 01:40 PM EST

An Ivy League economics professor, of all people, should know that a market economy is based on the principal of paying for goods and services.

But Martin Weitzman, Harvard University's Ernest E. Monrad Professor of Economics, allegedly got caught in the act of swiping a truckload of horse manure Friday, police said.

"You'd think he'd know better," Rockport horse farmer Charlie Lane said.

"We had to go up there and put a lock on the gate. He was in there when my stable manager got there," Lane said.

The stable manager, Phillip Casey, penned Weitzman's truck in and called the cops.

"He offered $20 to let him go," Lane said. "Phillip said no, and he offered $40. Phillip still said no."

Weitzman, 63, of Gloucester, is charged with larceny under $250, trespassing with a motor vehicle and malicious destruction of property under $250 for tearing up some land with his tires, police said.

He didn't return a call to his office.