… People marvel at his seemingly impossible output — until someone notices that he saves time by copying other writers.

These are all Young Man in a Hurry stories.

This chick seems to deal mainly Adderall and Oxy, but the story just broke so we’ll see.

She’s been fired, but anyone with even a teeny bit of knowledge of this ultimate party school in America’s most drunk and drug-addled state knows that removing one pusher from the local professoriate will do nothing to sober up the place.

Pulled out his weapon at the local mall during a fight, and has been carrying it – loaded, scratched off serial number – throughout his school day at Walt Whitman High, pride of UD’s ‘thesda. Remember Whitman? UD’s old friend Rita Kosofsky taught literature there for three decades… Has a great academic rep…

But after he’s tried (as an adult) and given probation by the court weenies, he’ll be invited back to Whitman by the school weenies, and the many affluent parents of ‘thesda, realizing little Andre is no doubt one of several angry heavily armed teenagers at Whitman (which I guess sees itself as too ladidah for metal detectors), will take their kids out of harm’s way and the school’s rep will sink like a stone.

Awesome writing.

Ever the pioneer, New Jersey will provide a place for gunnies to get tanked up before grabbing multiple firearms and letting fly. This all-in-one, booze + Beretta entertainment model is strikingly southern, as in the famous Murdaugh family in SC, drunk out of their minds many evenings, while hoisting some of their hundreds of guns for wholesome family fun.

The Toms River town council loves the idea and wants naysayers like Mr Mutter to shut the fuck up.

The University of North Carolina football program is always in the top five most violently disgusting in the nation. Has been for decades. Will always be. Feast your eyes.

So it’s so … cute … to see a professor there clutch his pearls and complain that the lads hit excessive speeds in their massive SUVs and even park illegally!

Wouldn’t be a Bama statement without a nod in the direction of career management specialist Jesus Christ; and, when she was hired, UA Birmingham baseball coach Taylor Smartt made sure to thank the big guy for opening what turned out to be some amazing doors for her.

 [F]our current players [said] Smartt would threaten to loosen their buttholes with her fingers.

“She told me countless times she would take me to the bathroom and loosen my asshole for me,” one of the players said. 

In the long – uh – annals of twisted coaching (UD’s seen it all), this is a new one on me. I’ve written here, to be sure, about coaches who plunge students’ heads in toilet bowls and lock them in dark offices with no food or water for extended periods or pummel them with heavy objects blah blah. Digital anal abuse I’ll admit I’d not yet met, and I’ll further admit that I wonder about a God who would open a door and lead a person there.

At least the larger community of Birmingham is God-fearing.

***************

UD thanks Andrew.

TENDERLOIN CORNER STORE

SOLD METH OVER THE COUNTER

… but the source is Bloomberg, and it’s about a prominent member of the Sackler family having pled guilty to a felony she committed while addicted to the family brew. So it seems worth pursuing as other outlets pick it up… Cuz it casts a certain opiate spell…

As the Sackler family worked through a plan to pay $6.5 billion to resolve their liability over Purdue Pharma LP’s production of addictive opioids, the epidemic hit even closer to home.

Joss Sackler, the wife of former Purdue board member David Sackler, admitted deleting WhatsApp messages showing she was the intended recipient of a shipment of prescription drugs seized by US border agents in 2024. Sackler, who said she was addicted to opioids at the time, pleaded guilty to obstructing a federal grand jury investigation into the transaction.

“I am so truly sorry that when I was suffering from …”

… multiple Maersk ships passing without incident through the Strait of Rehoboth.

Les UDs will be here for a while, and will keep an eye out.

… it can be hard to focus on particular states. A new study confirming that NOLA must be relocated will certainly get our attention, but basically if you’re like UD there’s a bunch of pretty squishy territories out there, all of which somehow add up to USA.

She knows Utah’s all virtuous and the Deep South deeply fucked; and because of her special interest in the country’s amazing rates of gun ownership/gun violence/gun suicide, she can rattle off our leading abattoirs.

But when a drug use/drug overdose map like this one comes out, the bright red disparities really jump out at you — as in mega-malsain New Mexico, where a few years ago the desperate governor, knee-deep in gore, declared a health emergency, making it illegal for anyone to carry a gun for thirty days. Angry bangbangers practically torched the state when they heard that one.

As for this most recent map, New Mexico dominates the national overdoses too. While clueless coastals like UD persist in picturing Georgia O’Keefe meditating on Taos Mountain, the reality of (by pretty much any metric) our worst state screams out at them in bright red on a drug map.

‘[Schools are] taking all the funding that they’re getting and they’re putting in place cameras. Well, that’s great. I mean, now you have a video of this little girl committing this terrible act.”

A Valley Forge High School parent points out that while America lacks any real means to stop school shootings, it at least has the fun of watching them happen.

The speaker seems surprised that an eleven year old almost shot a Milwaukee city inspector to death. The eleven year old was trying to carjack him.

 Return with me now to those thrilling days of yesteryear (2011, in this case), when critics like Marcia Angell screamed at anyone who would listen about the obscene overprescription of psychotropics in America and Europe. Maybe all the pharma shits are killing us with psychotropics talk got sidetracked for the last fifteen years by the super-obscene Purdue/Sackler/Oxycontin saga, in which the shits are killing us with opiates. In any case, despite powerful evidence of the inefficacy, not to mention withdrawal perils, of mood pills for many Americans, everyone kept gobbling them, cheered on by docs in the hands of pharma companies, and of course by pharma itself. Lots of people are on four or five of these pills. Even the morbid obesity of the DSM (“At least one diagnosis for every American.”), and the strong improbability of the underlying theory of psychotropics – brain chemical imbalance – have done little to stop the Gabitril train.

But now, under the influence of RFK Jr (politics makes strange bedfellows, mes petites), psychiatrists are suddenly engaging the air brake system, tossing about terms like deprescribing space, and knitting their brows over the fact that “16.6 percent of U.S. adults, or roughly one in six, report currently taking an S.S.R.I.”

Fuuuuuck that’s a lot man and some of that is, you know, kids under six and shit…. Pharma bros ain’t gonna like it, but maybe we should do something…