Urinator Terminators to Patrol NU Game

After fielding complaints about fans peeing on manicured lawns as they leave Northwestern University football games in Evanston, officials have come up with a relief plan for today's home opener. [Relief plan's obvious but not bad.]

More portable toilets will be available outside Ryan Field, and the bathrooms will be available at nearby St. Athanasius School, which helps supply parking at football games.

But if fans still choose the great outdoors, they'll face $75 fines if caught.

Evanston police say they plan to crack down on public urinators outside Saturday's Northwestern-Northeastern football game at Ryan Field. [Who knew urinators was spelled with an or rather than an er?]

Evanston Police sent 500 leaflets this week to neighbors of the stadium, providing police phone numbers and a list of specific city code violations. [I guess they've been, er, fielding some complaints... This reminds UD of the time -- centuries ago -- when she was living in Paris in a small hotel off the Blvd. St Germain. One afternoon, as she sat in her window nook on the third floor, eating a crepe and enjoying the view of the Rue Whatever, a guy came out of a cafe just below her room and began watering the sidewalk. UD threw her crepe on his head.] The list included not only urinating and defecating in public, but also prohibitions on drinking alcohol in public areas, littering and disorderly conduct.

But public urination is the biggest problem that, er, ticks off residents, acknowledged Evanston Police Chief Richard Eddington.

"I imagine that if someone is urinating in your flower garden, you are not going to be too happy," Eddington said.

The problem usually happens after big games against Big Ten teams. Police handed out about a dozen citations last year at such games to people breaking urination laws, Eddington said.

A game against a team like Northeastern University -- the Wildcats' opponent today -- usually draws fewer complaints, he said. [That's interesting. I wonder what it means. If you're playing against a serious competitor, there's more peeing... Is it because people leave earlier with a less inspiring contender? Or do men feel a greater need to commune with themselves when they're confronted with a true challenge...?

And isn't UD the sexist to assume women aren't squatting in the flower gardens of Evanston?]

"We are really looking for voluntary compliance to prevent this problem," Eddington said.