Twatter loses …

Twitter.

Penn Tangle

Will the rise of Trump — suddenly the most famous Penn alumnus on the planet — actually bring the school down?

Penn has apparently always felt inferior relative to other Ivies because its alumni are very underrepresented among American presidents.

But hey – Penn might be on the verge of hitting it big!

And that should be a source of pride. But the Penn alum in question —

“Who would mock a disability? I would never. I’m a smart person. I went to the Wharton School of Finance.”

is both an embarrassment and a serious threat to the brand. Some on campus propose that Penn somehow repudiate the person in question – rather in the way Temple repudiated Cosby…

Well, it doesn’t become a real problem unless he wins.

Donald Trump and the “Flat Character” Problem

UD’s colleague, Thomas Mallon, considers Trump’s unsuitability for literary fiction.

Trump lacks even the two-dimensionality required in a sociopath; the emotional range is as impoverished as the vocabulary. Trump simply advances, like the Andromeda strain, a case of arrested development that is somehow also metastatic…

Trump’s defeat … will not render him measurably more affronted or angry or whatever he is. Because he is a flat character, it will leave him unchanged. Even if he cries that the contest was “rigged,” he will not feel the defeat. I predict that he will use his concession speech to talk about how many millions of votes he got in the primaries and how throughout the fall his crowds remained bigger than Hillary’s.

Erection Update #2

Let’s look at this videotape of Obama. We called your attention, it was on the Drudge Report a couple days ago, Obama with an erection parading it around on a campaign plane and all the women trying to get closer and see it. Not one Republican has spoken up to condemn it.

We’d like to, Rush, but it’s really hard.

Trump Campaign Song: “Shall I Sue?”

DONALD TRUMP THREATENS TO SUE WOMEN
ACCUSING HIM OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

************

(Sing along.)

************

Shall I sue, shall I seek for dough?
Shall I bay in pursuit?
Shall I strive to a heav’nly glow,
With an earthly suit?

Shall I think all mine pussies grabb’d
Or mine pinchéd tits
Or sore ass can ascend the courts,
Where high justice sits?

Silly wretch, forsake these dreams
Of a vain desire,
O bethink what legal costs
All your suits require.

Yet when that fortune bring to me
Triumph in the polls
At dawning of my pres’dency
Liars’ heads will roll.

Nasty Women! I will show
Measure of my rage
You will curse the day you dared
Rattle Donald’s cage!

Hilaire Belloc’s “Lines to a Don” meant something entirely different…

… but parts of the poem contain a curiously contemporary resonance.

***********

… Don poor at Bed and worse at Table,
Don pinched, Don starved, Don miserable;
Don stuttering, Don with roving eyes,
Don nervous, Don of crudities;
Don clerical, Don ordinary,
Don self-absorbed and solitary;
Don here-and-there, Don epileptic;
Don puffed and empty, Don dyspeptic;
Don middle-class, Don sycophantic,
Don dull, Don brutish, Don pedantic;
Don hypocritical, Don bad,
Don furtive, Don three-quarters mad;
Don (since a man must make an end),
Don that shall never be my friend.

… Don dreadful, rasping Don and wearing,
Repulsive Don—Don past all bearing.
Don of the cold and doubtful breath,
Don despicable, Don of death;
Don nasty, skimpy, silent, level;
Don evil; Don that serves the devil.
Don ugly — that makes fifty lines…

***************************

Guess that’s what they mean by immortal verse.

UD’s Pretty Confident that Washington State University’s Mike Leach will be getting an emergency…

… raise of $20,000 — half of it to cover the $10,000 fine he just got for telling everyone that an upcoming football game he might lose is rigged, and another $10,000 to make up for the pain and humiliation he might have suffered because of having been fined.

Don’t leave, Mike! We love you! How much more money do you want? You are our golden boy and shed nothing but light and love upon our fine institution!

**************

And yes – to answer your question – he’s a Trump man.

UD thanks a reader for telling her about…

Trump Book Report.

Jude is SO SAD. So obscure. Loser.

The Wretched of the Earth. You’re telling me. Disgusting.

“Such a nasty woman.”

She stands alone waiting for suggestions
He’s so nervous, avoiding all the questions
His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding
Don’t you just know exactly what they’re thinking

If you want my country and you think I’m nasty
Come on, sugar, steal the show
Show you can debate me, show that you can bait me
Come on, honey, tell me so

He’s acting mad, looking for an answer
Come on honey, pull your thoughts together
Talk about how girls are pigs
Talk about how it’s all rigged

He catches a cab to his high rise apartment
At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant
Nasty woman nasty woman
Won’t let me be president
Nasty woman nasty woman
Won’t let me be president

“There is no telling what an increasingly desperate Trump, a reality TV showman whose entire campaign has been an unmitigated flouting of conventional political, cultural and behavioral norms, will do in his final 90 minutes on the debate stage to try and affect a race that appears to be over or, perhaps more pragmatically, to attempt to save face by blaming his dim electoral prospects on an allegedly biased media and the unsubstantiated claims of a rigged election.”

Think Chris Burden.

Sourpusses.

The girls can’t help it.

Gonzalez…

…won’t play ball.

Thanks, Mr Trump!

Employees at two plants operated by distiller Jim Beam have gone on strike, saying they are overworked amid a nationwide revival of interest in Kentucky bourbon.

Erection Update

The latest.

That Shakespeherian Trump

A brilliant little essay that doesn’t even mention his name.

**************

As Trump’s campaign collapses into one long lost weekend, more and more observers zoom out and get literary.

There’s something both grotesque and bracing about the confrontation between Clinton, with her disciplined professionalism, and Trump, with his increasingly frenzied assertions of male prerogative. Like the female protagonist of a quest narrative — or, perhaps, of a dystopian fantasy — Clinton has made it through all her challenges to face the bull-headed Minotaur of sexism at the end of the maze.

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