It’ s not dad’s fault that the kid’s massacre-hopes, in the actual event, fall short of expectations. Dad’s done his bit, enabling the little one to get AK-47s and everything else he needs for really widespread butchery; but once the bullets begin to whirl, wounded people have a way of hiding/running off, or, say, sacrificing themselves to save their children, and these behaviors, plus the imminent arrival of the authorities, will drive your total down for sure.
You try to do everything for your son, give him the best training and the bloodiest guns, yet his kill is pathetic compared to older, more seasoned psychotics like the Las Vegas shooter, whose toll puts all of America’s teenage/twentyish massacrists to shame.
Dads, for starters tell your mad shooters to look for a closed open space. What do I mean by this? The Las Vegas shooter chose an outdoor concert venue, for sure, but there were walls and gates aplenty, making it seriously difficult for people to get away and for authorities to get in. The concert space was also a good distance from stores or other interiors in which one might find shelter.
Another pointer for dads: At a concert, people are all tightly packed together, which makes a far better target than a sequential parade. Also – and here’s a fun fact – Paddock waited until night, when it’s much harder for people to see around them, and to figure out what’s going on.
I don’t want the Highland Park shooter’s father to feel more disappointment in his child than he already does, but Paddock killed 60 and wounded or injured one thousand.
True, your kid did better than the massacrist not far from UD‘s town, who, had he not chickened out, might well have shot to pieces my old friend Di, who was walking to the grocery store on the street right below him as he tried to get up the nerve to kill everyone.
UD proposes that, as soon as gunny dads realize their kid is psychotic and wants to accumulate guns and bombs so he can kill everyone, they ship the kid off to an Idaho militia camp. The state of Idaho is hugely friendly to massed psychotics with guns, and these groups will straighten these kids out in no time.
… does his own vacuuming. Everyone was surprised, especially his tot!
This is SO unfair.
He still has two kids left over whose suicides he can assist.
The post just below is one of several on this blog chronicling the adorable father/son pairs in this country who roll around together at home on top of thick warm layers of illegal loaded guns and explosive devices (see photo). It’s an all-American thing, and chances are you just don’t get it but lookee here – a three-generation human interest story to warm the Glockles of your heart!
Here’s Grandad – the only family member not currently in jail or out on bond awaiting trial – talking to the media about the wonderful world of family weaponry, the way his close-knit clan has used a home environment strewn with hyper-powerful, ready-to-shoot firearms to treat their son’s autism, and the way satanic anti-second amendment forces have invaded the sanctity of their treatment facility/armory.
“It’s not entirely clear how the grandfather of a boy arrested for making threats at the Academy for Sciences and Agriculture in Vadnais Heights is helping the family cause with an interview he’s given,” sneers elitist Minnesota Public Radio about grandaddy’s dark warning that if the gummit don’t leave his people the hell alone, “Fire is coming down from hell.”
From hell, gramps?… What exactly do you mean? Fire from… haha… one of your big ol’ semi-automatics…? … Zat what you’re getting at?
Gramps is pissed: “This has violated our second amendment” right to raise an autistic kid to threaten to shoot up his school with every single one of the loaded guns on his bed.
You got that right. After their thirteen year old son repeatedly threatened to shoot up his school, his mother insisted there were “no weapons in the home.” A search revealed that she and the kid’s father
owned several illegal firearms and kept loaded guns out in the open…
[The father was charged] with two felony counts of prohibited possession of machine guns and short-barreled shotguns and one count of gross misdemeanor negligent storage of firearms where a child can access them.
Authorities on Friday seized a cache of firearms, ammunition and at least two explosive devices… Some of the firearms were unsecured, and a ballistic vest was also recovered…
“Law enforcement officers also recovered several trigger kits hidden in the ceiling of the residence,” said the charges … “They appeared to be conversion kits for converting weapons to automatic weapons. Deputies also discovered literature on how to convert a semi-automatic weapon to a fully automatic weapon.”
[O]nly about one-quarter of [US] gun owners think it essential to alert visitors with children that guns may be present in the home. (Twice as many non-gun-owners think so.) Only 66 percent of gun owners think it essential to keep guns locked up when not in use. (Ninety percent of non-gun-owners think so.) Only 45 percent of them actually do it.
He’s my unabomber daddy
He means all the world to me
He’s my unabomber daddy
And they made a jail cell jest for him and me
It’s the Patek Philippe watch story a few classes down:
‘You never actually own five hundred guns and explosive devices. You merely look after them for the next generation.’
It’s an Only-in-America kinda thing: Matching father-and-son jail cells.
You know what’s also Only-in-America? They’ll be out of jail in seconds — more paranoid than ever, and accumulating more weaponry.