May 16th, 2024
Hungarians: Jokes of the Century

Hungary’s new National Core Curriculum

pointedly excludes the work of Imre Kertész, Hungary’s only Nobel Prize winner for literature, surrendering a national point of pride in order to erase the contributions of a Jewish survivor of the Holocaust. And it adds to the core curriculum Ferenc Herczeg, a minor right-wing nationalist playwright who was celebrated and praised by Miklós Horthy, the World War II Hungarian leader who brought about an alliance between Hungary and Nazi Germany. Previous revisions of the core curriculum in prior Orbán administrations had already elevated similar minor writers into the pantheon on an obvious political basis, such as József Nyírő, a member of Parliament for the fascist Hungarian Arrow Cross Party, who harbored a passionate hatred of Jews. The new curriculum presents far-right Hungarian nationalist leaders of the past as heroes.

April 27th, 2024
‘Ms. Noem, a Republican who is widely seen as a contender to be former President Donald J. Trump’s running mate, shared details about shooting the 14-month-old dog, a female wirehaired pointer named Cricket, and an unnamed goat.’

LOL unnamed goat.

**********************

At the Conservative Political Action Conference in February, she tied with Vivek Ramaswamy for first place in a poll of whom attendees wanted to see Mr. Trump select as a running mate.

In what is regarded as a desperate bid to overtake Noem, Ramaswamy was quick to claim a dog named Juno, an unnamed goat, and a local skateboarder.

**********************

Shelley’s “To a Skylark,” rendered by Kristi Noem.

 Hail to thee, blithe Cricket!
        Dog thou never wert,
    That from heaven, or near it,
        Pourest thy full heart
In profuse strains of unpremeditated bark.

Higher still and higher
        From the earth thou springest
    Like a cloud of fire;
        Dead birds to me thou bringest
And bringing bringest more, and yet more thou bringest.

******************************

Chorus canineal
        Your triumphal chaunt
    Now seems to me of a sudden
        But an empty vaunt,
A thing wherein I feel there is some hidden want.

Yea now thy clear keen joyance
        Doth put me in a snit
    Shadow of annoyance

O’ertakes me for a bit…

And so I killed you in a gravel pit.


April 2nd, 2024
House Republicans want to rename Dulles Airport Trump Airport.

“Donald Trump is facing 91 felony charges. If Republicans want to name something after him, I’d suggest they find a federal prison,” Fairfax-area Rep. Gerry Connolly (D-Va.) said in a statement to POLITICO.

… Asked if he had any response to the legislation, an aide to Sen. Mark Warner (D-Va.) replied: “lol.”

**********

Apparently a breakaway group of SuperMAGAs in the House proposes the Vladimir Putin International Airport.

January 1st, 2022
“It was during this time that White met her first husband, an Army pilot named Dick Barker. It was ‘terribly romantic,’ she recalled. They were engaged for most of the war and got hitched in 1945, but their marriage would only last a few months. ‘I married my first because we wanted to sleep together. It lasted six months, and we were in bed for six months.'”

Betty White.

November 8th, 2021
So long, suckers!

Eat my dust!

August 4th, 2021
YOUR MORNING GIGGLE, AND POSSIBLY THE BEST ONE EVER

[Maxwell] Berry graduated in May from Ohio Wesleyan University, where he received a values in action award from the Greek life community for being a “perfect role model” and for leading “the fight to dismantle fraternity stereotypes.”

BWAHAHAHAH

December 25th, 2020
Your Morning Giggle

Secret Service May Recruit Ivanka to

Help Remove Trump from White House,

According to Expert

November 15th, 2020
The last time I saw Gorka…

Sing it!

The last time I saw Gorka

My limerick flowed free;

A bearded Trumper with a past

That some might call Nazi.

Just yesterday he surfaced

A Duce in the sun:

“Attend to me, my Proud Boys all!

We won! We won! We won!”

October 28th, 2020
‘One widely mocked tweet from conservative television host John Cardillo last week featured a photo of Biden tenderly kissing Hunter. “Does this look like an appropriate father/son interaction to you?” Thousands replied that it did.’

LOLOLOL

October 28th, 2020
‘Mr. Trump will refuse to attend the inauguration, of course, and will be arrested on charges of collusion, tax fraud and more on Jan. 20 while attempting to flee the country.’

LOLOLOL

SOOOOOOOO Ubu!

October 28th, 2020
“‘White House Claim That Trump Ended The Pandemic Was ‘Poorly Worded,’ Spokesperson Says”

LOLOLOL

October 21st, 2020
In the Spirit of the Season

Rudolph the Big Attorney

Had a very shiny chode

And if you ever saw it

You would even say it glowed

All of the other lawyers

Used to laugh and call him names

They wouldn’t let poor Rudolph

Join in any lawyer games

Then one dark and stormy night

Borat came to say

“Rudolph with your chode so bright

Won’t you join my film tonight?”

Then all the lawyers loved him

As they shouted out with glee

“Rudolph the Red-Chode Trumper

You’ll go down in history”

October 5th, 2020
Your Morning Giggle: A Hilarious Read.

Just… read it. Just work your way through it. I promise it will bring a smile – and maybe even laughter! – to your face.

Excerpts:

‘Merchants Hospitality has filed an explosive lawsuit against former partner Adam Hochfelder, accusing him of running a Ponzi scheme, embezzling investor money and retaliating against his former associates after he was fired in June.

In a complaint filed in New York State Supreme Court last week, Merchants claims it went out on a limb to help Hochfelder get back on his feet after a two-year prison stint, only to catch him stealing from the firm and using its name and assets to defraud unsuspecting investors and partners…

Hochfelder went to prison in 2010 after pleading guilty to 15 counts of grand larceny and three counts of scheming to defraud his uncle, in-laws and other investors out of more than $18 million. He left prison and was hired by Merchants in 2012.

Now, eight years later, Merchants accuses Hochfelder of embezzling funds from its West 42nd Street hotel project — the site of a failed effort to run a high-priced Playboy Club in New York — and using his affiliation with the firm to run a $400,000 Ponzi scheme through his company email…

[Hochfelder] accused Merchants of fabricating the scheme by breaking into his computer and creating false documents…

Merchants brought Hochfelder on board during his prison stint to spearhead acquisitions and development for the firm…

In 2014, Merchant, the firm’s CEO, called hiring Hochfelder “one of the best decisions we ever made.” And in 2017, after allegations of sexual harassment against Hochfelder surfaced, [the CEO] defended Hochfelder, saying, “It’s easy for him to be a pinata because of his past. But I think everybody deserves a second chance.”…

Merchants claims it conducted an investigation into [one particular] embezzlement … and Hochfelder ultimately admitted to the scheme and begged his partners to let him repay the money, citing “his own psychological issues and problems with drugs,” according to the September lawsuit…

Hochfelder [allegedly] collected $125,000 for an investment in the Bryant Park Hotel, which Merchants does not own. The complaint also alleges that Hochfelder offered an interest in Merchants’ Z Hotel in Long Island City but had the investor wire $75,000 to an LLC owned by his wife.

On top of those accusations and the alleged $4 million payment withheld by Roche, Merchants says Hochfelder has left the firm with months of overdue car payments, traffic violations and an ongoing eviction proceeding at his Midtown apartment…’

September 9th, 2020
UD’s Morning Giggle

A French government official’s attempts to ban an essay entitled I Hate Men over its “incitement to hatred on the grounds of gender” have backfired, sending sales of the feminist pamphlet skyrocketing.

***********

Perhaps you don’t share UD’s sense of humor. I haven’t gotten past that first paragraph and I’m already laughing. Let’s read the rest of the article. Here’s hoping for more laughs…

***********

Yes!

[The 25-year-old author] criticised [the gender equality advisor’s] response to her work. “A state official who has a power crisis facing an 80-page book released in 400 copies, I find that very problematic,” she said.

[The small publisher] did initially set out to print just 400 copies when the essay was published in August, but after [Ralph] Zurmély’s attacks, the first three editions of the book have sold out, with almost 2,500 copies sold just two weeks after its release. A larger publisher, who has yet to be named, is now set to take the title on.

*****************

And, as faithful readers know, UD always finds a way to sing it.

August 3rd, 2020
‘The moment we read the tweet, “Just ‘congratulated’ ‘president-elect’ Joe Biden (total loser). You’ll miss me VERY SOON!!!” is the moment our long national nightmare will finally be over.’

LOL.

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