Wotta shocker.

Philip Esformes, a man incapable, as a matter, it seems, of principle, of obeying virtually any law, has been found guilty of this country’s largest health care fraud ever.

Much of the Esformes tale, which features his self-presentation as a seriously religious person, is scripted by Woody Allen. (‘The witnesses described how Esformes would direct them to pay doctors in cash, using code words like “fettuccine.”‘)

With his corporate and personal assets frozen, Esformes’ father, Morris, paid for the son’s costly defense, which has included lawyers from Black’s high-profile law firm and other attorneys. The father, with his son’s assistance, had amassed a fortune in the healthcare field in Chicago before they set their sights on Miami, where they got into trouble with the law for the first time in 2006. Back then, the Esformes family and the owners of Larkin Hospital paid $15.4 million to the U.S. government in a Justice Department settlement to resolve a civil violation of recycling patients between the hospital and the family’s nursing-home facilities and ALFs — a precursor to the current criminal case.

And Morris… well, about Morris you don’t wanna know… Very highly esteemed at Rogue Central, University of Miami medical school.

Eating People is Wrong.

So is walking around town seeking to insert your cock in randomly encountered women. There are even legal problems with these behaviors.

Three years ago, a member of the Stanford University swimming team sauntered about campus seeking said insertion, and was well on his way (“he was caught by two Swedish graduate students making thrusting motions on top of a half-naked, intoxicated, unconscious woman”) when things went awry and he went before a judge.

The judge, Aaron “Boys Will Be Boys” Persky — er, make that former Judge Persky — gave him three months in jail (well, six; but he only served three), but the swimmer wants the sentence overturned since he din mean nothin by it and only after all wanted “outercourse,” not intercourse.

The appellate court was unconvinced. UD can’t wait to listen to the Supreme Court tussle over outer v. intercourse…

How to mark Franz Kafka’s birthday?

With his greatest legacy.

Southern Impoverished Law Center…

… learns the hard way that sliming good people for fun and profit can really cost you.

SPLC Pays $3.3 Million Settlement to Counter-Extremism Group It Called ‘Anti-Muslim’

The Southern Poverty Law Center, which monitors hate groups, has apologized for including the Quilliam Foundation, a counter-extremism group, and its founder, Maajid Nawaz, in its Field Guide to Anti-Muslim Extremists.

Background here.

Royally Screwed

Even in flamboyantly corrupt Spain, justice occasionally gets done.

Giuliani: “I’m DEFINITELY getting one of those NDAs …

for my fourth wife. One like Stormy’s.”

‘USC Ousts Med School Dean They Hired To Replace Former Disgraced Dean’

No, it’s not The Onion. Crazed Carmen Puliafito’s replacement as the head of the University of Southern California medical school – Puliafito’s protégé, by the way – turns out to have quite the naughty backstory himself, and since the story happened at USC and they appointed the guy dean anyway, UD thinks it’s time for the medical school at the University of Southern California to seek counseling. This is totally nuts, and UD‘s going to stop covering USC med school on this blog if things descend yet further into farce.

So. Meet the guy they chose to replace drug-crazed Carmen.

A young international student working for [Rohit] Varma on one of [his] research projects — an NIH-funded study of eye disease in Latinos — accompanied him to [a] conference.

The woman later told USC investigators that when they arrived at the conference hotel, Varma told the woman he had booked a single room and expected her to share a bed with him, according to two sources familiar with USC’s investigation. She told the investigators that when she questioned the arrangement, Varma claimed the grant money would only cover one room, the sources said.

She said that when she protested further, he took her cellphone away and threatened to have her visa revoked, according to the sources. The woman told investigators that she had no money to pay for her own room and ended up sleeping on a cot in Varma’s room, the sources said.

She reported the incident to USC, and the university’s Office of Equity and Diversity launched an investigation of Varma for sexual harassment and retaliation. Investigators found evidence to support her claims…

Just the sort of person you want when you’re desperate to clean house after orgy-meister Carmen.



Cruz Blames Porn Use on his Staff

What else is he going to blame it on? His elbow?

Take the money and run

[P]rosecutors showed graduate students in [Yujie] Ding’s lab at Lehigh University did all of the work to develop an atmospheric sensor for NASA, while Ding and Zotova pocketed most of the $700,000 through a shell company to which the contract had been awarded.

Of the myriad thieving engineering professor stories UD has covered over the years, this one has it all: romance (Ding’s co-fraudster was his loving wife), slavery (what are graduate students for?), endless, fun, court machinations by the accused (“You have one of the best attorneys in the city,” [the judge] told Ding. “It appears you are attempting to delay this matter.”), and just, you know, even by the standards of thieving engineering professors, one of the most comprehensively sucky human beings that the human comedy, la condition humaine, the human animal, has to offer.

No one at Lehigh’s bothered to take his faculty page down. Could be they’re waiting until after sentencing. Ding “faces a statutory maximum of 120 years in prison,” and maybe Lehigh wants to add this impressively high number to his profile, but is waiting for it to be official.

“It’s an easy equation: Get the stadium, get better players, build a better team, win games, get into a better league and make more money. Spend that money on making a better university.”

America’s dumbest state builds a stadium.

Eighty Years Old: But Not Too Old To Have Rape Jokes Told About You.


Okay, now you’ve …

really gone too far.


To mark this day in North Carolina’s history, the town of Morehead has been renamed Lesshead.

“Although Freud said happiness is composed of love and work, reality often forces us to choose love or work.”

And then there’s Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

Asked by a judge why [his secret Parisian] flat was rented under an opaque setup, Strauss-Kahn said: “I was a politician, I was married. I needed a discreet place to meet politicians, and to meet young women I wanted to meet.”

Yeshiva University’s wildly overpaid president, who has presided over that institution’s fall to Moody’s junk status….

… announces that he “will not engage with the media further in …regard” to the school’s famously terrible financial situation. Everybody’s talking about it.

Further is strange. He has never engaged with the media. And he never will. Yet another winning strategy from an institution full of winning strategies.

He will, however, whisper, just in the ear of Yeshiva insiders, just for their sake, that Yeshiva is great, fine, rolling in dough, very very fiscally prudent. Couldn’t be better.


CBS: “A university spokesman declined CBS 2’s interview requests, but issued a statement claiming inaccuracies in Weiss’ report. It wasn’t specific.”

There goes President Richard Joel earning his salary again.


Though he clearly wasn’t hired for his math skills.

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