July 21st, 2022

“The room erupted in laughter,” said a reporter in the January 6 hearings room tonight. She was describing the hilarious juxtaposition of Missouri’s Josh Hawley first pumping his macho fist and riling up the crowd of insurrectionists; and then immediately after, with the Capitol overrun, racing like a wittle wabbit to get away from the people he’d made violent.

November 15th, 2021
‘In 2020, Temple’s online MBA program returned to the rankings at No. 88. This year, it is tied for No. 100 with 11 other online business programs.’

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

November 27th, 2020
Trump’s Attempt to Fuck Up the PA Vote Goes Down in the Same Flames Everything Else He Attempts Does.

“The activist judicial machinery in Pennsylvania continues to cover up the allegations of massive fraud,” [complained one of Trump’s lawyers].

But the 3rd Circuit judges who rejected the appeal were all appointed by Republicans: Bibas, who was nominated by Trump in 2017, Chief Justice Brooks Smith, who was nominated in 2001 by President Bush; and Judge Michael Chagares, who was nominated by Bush in 2006.

July 21st, 2020
LOL Defense Lawyers

Mr. Rosu was [already] wanted in a federal investigation. On the dashboard [of his rental car, investigators] found a key to a hotel room. Hidden in the ceiling of that room, investigators found around 1,000 blank, gold-colored magnetic strip cards and a bag of what appeared to be A.T.M. skimming components, including a magnetic strip card encoder …

At a detention hearing on Thursday afternoon in Anchorage, Mr. Rosu did not enter a plea, according to his lawyer, Ben Crittenden. “We believe in his innocence,” Mr. Crittenden said.

September 25th, 2019
Dersh’s Day in Court

Vivia Chen was there. (Background here.)

If [Judge Loretta] Preska’s deployment of sarcasm is any indication, I’d say that the Dershowitz team should be sweating. The judge asked pointed questions to both sides but I thought she was a lot more skeptical of the arguments that Dershowitz’s legal team was putting forward.

A number of times, Preska said to Dershowitz’s lawyers, Howard Cooper and Imran Ansari, about their arguments, “I don’t get it.” For instance, Preska asked why Dershowitz failed to raise the conflict issue about Boies Schiller’s representation of [Virginia] Giuffre in previous litigations related to the Epstein matter, though the professor made noises about doing so. (Dershowitz claims that Boies Schiller has a conflict because its partner Carlos Sires had offered to represent him after Giuffre accused the professor of sexual abuse, and that he had sent the firm confidential information as a result.)

When Dershowitz’s lawyer Ansari argued that he’s now raising the conflict issue because he’s being directly sued for defamation, Preska was unimpressed and shot back, “What difference should that make?”

Nor was she impressed by Ansari’s suggestion that Boies Schiller used dirty tactics. “Why are you telling me this?” Preska asked. “I don’t care.”

And she seemed even more unconvinced that Dershowitz had established a client/lawyer relationship with Boies Schiller that would merit the firm’s disqualification. She noted that when told by Sires that the firm could not represent him, Dershowitz replied in an email: “Darn. I was really hoping that you could come on board.”

Preska hammered away at that response.

“It’s the subjunctive,” she said. “He’s not writing back and saying, ‘Holy Moly, you said you’d represent me.’ He’s saying, ‘I was hoping you could do it.’”

At that point, Ansari looked stumped. He reminded me of myself as a law student during moot court. Scared.

April 5th, 2019
Wotta shocker.

Philip Esformes, a man incapable, as a matter, it seems, of principle, of obeying virtually any law, has been found guilty of this country’s largest health care fraud ever.

Much of the Esformes tale, which features his self-presentation as a seriously religious person, is scripted by Woody Allen. (‘The witnesses described how Esformes would direct them to pay doctors in cash, using code words like “fettuccine.”‘)

With his corporate and personal assets frozen, Esformes’ father, Morris, paid for the son’s costly defense, which has included lawyers from Black’s high-profile law firm and other attorneys. The father, with his son’s assistance, had amassed a fortune in the healthcare field in Chicago before they set their sights on Miami, where they got into trouble with the law for the first time in 2006. Back then, the Esformes family and the owners of Larkin Hospital paid $15.4 million to the U.S. government in a Justice Department settlement to resolve a civil violation of recycling patients between the hospital and the family’s nursing-home facilities and ALFs — a precursor to the current criminal case.

And Morris… well, about Morris you don’t wanna know… Very highly esteemed at Rogue Central, University of Miami medical school.

August 9th, 2018
Eating People is Wrong.

So is walking around town seeking to insert your cock in randomly encountered women. There are even legal problems with these behaviors.

Three years ago, a member of the Stanford University swimming team sauntered about campus seeking said insertion, and was well on his way (“he was caught by two Swedish graduate students making thrusting motions on top of a half-naked, intoxicated, unconscious woman”) when things went awry and he went before a judge.

The judge, Aaron “Boys Will Be Boys” Persky — er, make that former Judge Persky — gave him three months in jail (well, six; but he only served three), but the swimmer wants the sentence overturned since he din mean nothin by it and only after all wanted “outercourse,” not intercourse.

The appellate court was unconvinced. UD can’t wait to listen to the Supreme Court tussle over outer v. intercourse…

July 3rd, 2018
How to mark Franz Kafka’s birthday?

With his greatest legacy.

June 18th, 2018
Southern Impoverished Law Center…

… learns the hard way that sliming good people for fun and profit can really cost you.

SPLC Pays $3.3 Million Settlement to Counter-Extremism Group It Called ‘Anti-Muslim’

The Southern Poverty Law Center, which monitors hate groups, has apologized for including the Quilliam Foundation, a counter-extremism group, and its founder, Maajid Nawaz, in its Field Guide to Anti-Muslim Extremists.

Background here.

June 13th, 2018
Royally Screwed

Even in flamboyantly corrupt Spain, justice occasionally gets done.

June 13th, 2018
Giuliani: “I’m DEFINITELY getting one of those NDAs …

for my fourth wife. One like Stormy’s.”

October 5th, 2017
‘USC Ousts Med School Dean They Hired To Replace Former Disgraced Dean’

No, it’s not The Onion. Crazed Carmen Puliafito’s replacement as the head of the University of Southern California medical school – Puliafito’s protégé, by the way – turns out to have quite the naughty backstory himself, and since the story happened at USC and they appointed the guy dean anyway, UD thinks it’s time for the medical school at the University of Southern California to seek counseling. This is totally nuts, and UD‘s going to stop covering USC med school on this blog if things descend yet further into farce.

So. Meet the guy they chose to replace drug-crazed Carmen.

A young international student working for [Rohit] Varma on one of [his] research projects — an NIH-funded study of eye disease in Latinos — accompanied him to [a] conference.

The woman later told USC investigators that when they arrived at the conference hotel, Varma told the woman he had booked a single room and expected her to share a bed with him, according to two sources familiar with USC’s investigation. She told the investigators that when she questioned the arrangement, Varma claimed the grant money would only cover one room, the sources said.

She said that when she protested further, he took her cellphone away and threatened to have her visa revoked, according to the sources. The woman told investigators that she had no money to pay for her own room and ended up sleeping on a cot in Varma’s room, the sources said.

She reported the incident to USC, and the university’s Office of Equity and Diversity launched an investigation of Varma for sexual harassment and retaliation. Investigators found evidence to support her claims…

Just the sort of person you want when you’re desperate to clean house after orgy-meister Carmen.

September 21st, 2017


September 12th, 2017
Cruz Blames Porn Use on his Staff

What else is he going to blame it on? His elbow?

September 9th, 2016
Take the money and run

[P]rosecutors showed graduate students in [Yujie] Ding’s lab at Lehigh University did all of the work to develop an atmospheric sensor for NASA, while Ding and Zotova pocketed most of the $700,000 through a shell company to which the contract had been awarded.

Of the myriad thieving engineering professor stories UD has covered over the years, this one has it all: romance (Ding’s co-fraudster was his loving wife), slavery (what are graduate students for?), endless, fun, court machinations by the accused (“You have one of the best attorneys in the city,” [the judge] told Ding. “It appears you are attempting to delay this matter.”), and just, you know, even by the standards of thieving engineering professors, one of the most comprehensively sucky human beings that the human comedy, la condition humaine, the human animal, has to offer.

No one at Lehigh’s bothered to take his faculty page down. Could be they’re waiting until after sentencing. Ding “faces a statutory maximum of 120 years in prison,” and maybe Lehigh wants to add this impressively high number to his profile, but is waiting for it to be official.

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