Of Mice and Men, America, 2021.

“I had a little country once, but it don’t move no more.”

“Because you crushed it, Donnie. Maybe you didn’t mean to, but you’re such a big, strong, man! The biggest, strongest man!”

“I’m the biggest strongest man! … The greatest first term in presidential history!”

“Yes, Donnie. But see the mess you made at the Capitol yesterday?”

“I didn’t mean nuthin! I didn’t mean to kill it! I just wanted to play with it.”

“We know. We know. Don’t cry! Look – there’s only a little time left in your term. Pretty close to the whole country is traumatized and hates you and your family. Don’t you care about your family?”

“I love my family! I love to pet my family!”

“Then it’s time for you to issue a statement agreeing to the orderly transition of power.”

“But can I say in the statement Make America Great Again? [snivels] Can I still say MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN?”

“Of course you can, Donnie. You can say lots of things that you think up all by yourself to say! But you HAVE to say that you agree to the peaceful transition of power.”

[wipes nose] “Okay, okay.”

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