Amid the happy revelry, this totally not into it girl, kitted out in the stars and stripes, caught UD‘s eye and became this year’s iconic image of the iconic Garrett Park, MD parade.
… and didn’t know – until her friend Tammy told her – that some of the Antioch Mosaics were just down the street from ‘thesda at the Baltimore Museum. Tammy and I went there together the other day and it was thrilling to see them, arranged around a sunny atrium.
You shouldn’t be surprised when people start monetizing the vast empty mcmansions all around you. You yourself may be happy rattling about in your own bankrupting domestic structure with no domestic life in it — because after all, here in the US, conspicuous consumption is the last sense to go.
Indeed ethically and emotionally you may be quite content to live inside a desolate, energy sucking, cave; but that doesn’t mean your neighbors think the same way. Having emptied their accounts in order to act rich, they now seek ways out of their financial dilemma, plus out of the depression that settles upon them when, morning after morning, they fetch up in an Alaskan King bed they can’t afford.
Lotsa desperate capitalists around your neighborhood is what I’m saying, and some of them are going to start cannibalizing their whale fall. They’re gonna rent their pools. They’re gonna rent their outdoor grills. They’re gonna rent their driveways. And – don’t know how to break it to you – they’re gonna find commercial uses for their nine bedrooms.
If you’d thought about your setting – hidden away cul de sacs with acres of parking and beyond that flat treeless land for more parking – it might have occurred to you that the whole setting was absolutely crying out for supermassive sex parties. That there would be more and more and more of these (“We have, you know, 200-400 strangers coming into our small, seven-house community, drinking, littering, peeing, defecating, we have people that are just screaming at the owners. We live here, I mean, my neighbor’s dog ate a condom this morning, so is that something you want your children to deal with?”) and that they might not make you happy.
Happy? You thought spending money on a house whose nihilism crushes your soul would make you happy. You thought ruining yourself financially would propel you to the land of classy rich people, and it landed you in the lap of 24/7 bullet-spewing trash. Dumbdumb.
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update: uh oh.
Not my photograph; Melissa Bouter’s.
Took me awhile to figure out why it kept flying off and then perching on the same flower again. It was hunting insects.
I don’t like hosta flowers, but if they bring hours of dragonflies to my window, okay.
… the venerable Dave Almy sings a John Prine song with his grandson.
Jawbone of a deer? Ever-present anti-mosquito spray. Pointless attractive teapot.
Gray watering can contains wren sitting on her eggs.
UD‘s hopeless, hapless, Montgomery County could do nothing the other night as one of Potomac’s vast empty mcmansions hosted a pay as you go ‘Wet Dreams’ party for over a thousand. “Where are the whores?” nearby home owners report guests shouting on entry. “I think it was a sex party,” said the neighborhood’s state delegate.
Capitalism being what it is, an owner is free to furnish her house, leave, and rent the thing out as a big ol’ brothel (or is the brothel thing legal?); and there’s nothing like Potomac, full of massive empty or semi-empty mcmansions, for this purpose.
[One] couple called county police, but were not satisfied with the response. They said the one officer who responded was helpful and listened to their concerns, but said he wasn’t able to do much.
“The police should’ve shut this thing down,” [the neighbor] said. “We’re really darn lucky an incident didn’t happen.”
Huh yeah an incident and you better believe the Moco police did nothing about it out of sheer terror. Airbnb mass shootings and the like happen a lot; there’s a HUGE number of guns at these parties. Only an idiot would walk in on five hundred heavily armed post-coital drunks and druggies lolling about a pool.
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UPDATE: Gets prettier and prettier. “Multiple neighbors told FOX 5, the owner of the home told them there would be a party on May 25. It wouldn’t be the only one. In order to offset “inordinate” personal legal costs, the homeowner said she planned to host both large-scale events and family gatherings.”
The idiot is now looking forward to much more serious legal costs.
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UPDATE: Are we surprised it’s becoming a bigger story? Let’s see: Sex, wealth, Potomac, drugs, drink, a rancid owner, sordid Airbnb (one point subtracted, however, for no gunplay)… UD might have glombed onto “Wet Dreams” early, cuz this is close to where she lives, and she spent years visiting her aunt and uncle in their own vast lifeless Potomac mcmansion, but it was always going to break free from obscurity because of its unbeatable plot elements. And wait until some of the partiers begin to talk!
She may not look it, but UD’s quite sentimental, and she found herself choking up as she read this beautiful evocation of her hometown.
[The] red-brick mansion, [on the market for $23.5 million,] sits on [a] gated two-acre property, which [has] six bedrooms, eight bathrooms, and three half-baths. Inside are six fireplaces, a library, a wine cellar, a recreation room, a fitness center, a billiards room, … a guest suite [,] an infinity pool and hot tub, an English garden, and a two-car garage… [The current owner] used the residence for entertaining and only spent a few nights there.
The school newspaper has up to the minute updates.