‘Alabama assistant strength coach arrested for second DUI in last 2 ½ years’

Two in two years? Hell, that’s nothin’! It’s Bama, America’s most celebrated university football team. What do you figure the dude makes a year to holler at the boys? 3, 4 hundred thousand? Main strength coach at Bama makes around $600,000…

Sausage Party!

It’s all-male and all-amazing!

When your university absolutely hemorrhages money…

… a $480,000 gift to an administrator fired almost as soon as he started is a drop in the bucket. Behold my recent Rutgers posts. Of course you and I know that the gift is rather in the way of a bribe not to disclose the institutional corruption the guy witnessed. I’m sure he’ll play along.


Not everyone plays along.

Ah, sweet mystery of life.

You can’t have a sip of Campari.

It’s hotter than ten Kalaharis.

So tell us Michel.

I mean, what the hell?

Why did FIFA select the Qataris?

Florida Gators: They’re KILLIN’ it.

Always one of the American university’s most criminalized football teams, the University of Florida Gators have lately outdone themselves. Aaron Hernandez’s Former Florida Teammate Charged With Murder runs a headline, and, yes, believe it or not, the team boasted two future murderers playing side by side! Hernandez killed acquaintances; Earl Joiner allegedly killed his wife. Earl Joiner Becomes Second Florida Gator to be Accused of Murder from 2007 Team notes another headline. Storied team! A school can’t pay for this kind of publicity!

Deadspin on Incognito

‘The first year of [Richie] Incognito’s retirement was marked by erratic and threatening behavior. This was not the old shirtless barroom rages of his Dolphins years but stuff that suggested serious distress—telling the police that he was “running NSA class level 3 documents through my phone” when they showed up to stop him from assaulting a stranger at a gym, showing up at an Arizona funeral home with a half-dozen guns in his truck and threatening employees after they refused to honor his request that they cut off his late father’s head “for research purposes.” Last Tuesday, Incognito signed a one-year contract with the Oakland Raiders.’

And now for some Freudian (see post below this one) thoughts about human beings and aggression.

‘The NFL has sold football as a shelf-stable retail version of war for generations, and it’s hard to imagine the league ever settling on a more compelling pitch. Humanity has only ever come up with so many ways to justify the fact that people admire and enjoy things that we’re taught should be abhorred, and squaring all these contradictions is not just a problem for [former Bills coach] Rex Ryan, or football. American culture admires bullies more than it dares let on, primarily because Americans are much closer to the edge than they dare admit.’

Seems to UD we’re absolutely fine about letting it on, having elected a bully president. He’ll probably be re-elected.

Some people really like bullies, and the fact’s right out there. The Deadspin writer cautions us that “cruelty and violence are [not] the same thing as strength.” But Incognito’s brilliant career conveys the fact that fans already know that. They just prefer cruelty.

‘European soccer is a heedless, Darwinian affair. Spending rules are broken. Salaries are secrets. The best leagues are awash in Russian oligarchs, Middle Eastern sovereign-wealth funds, and Chinese conglomerates.’

The genius behind Football Leaks “describe[s] the evolution of European soccer from a varied and distinctive game to a corrupt playground for the international élite, in which only the richest, least scrupulous clubs can thrive.”

Makes our college and professional football look pure as the driven snow.

‘Troubled,’ ‘risky,’ ‘controversial,’ ‘wayward soul’ Richie Incognito…

… (all adjectives taken from news headlines) comes roaring back to professional football, which explains to us in an official statement that not all players can be “boy scouts.” University Diaries has followed this mentally ill man from his violent nutso college days to his violent fully ripe grossly insane professional stint, and has always predicted that despite his dangerous madness he will repeatedly (until age and yet more brain disorder make him a throwaway) be taken back by football teams.

As ever, Deadspin has the best take, starting with its headline:



UD thanks John.

Have we gotten to Australian Rules Football yet? Guess not.

[The emergency line] was flooded with calls from disgusted and upset supporters following Collingwood’s 19-point win over arch-rival Carlton.

One fan, Ross, said he’d “never be going to the football again” after being thrown to the ground…

[A] man was also seen “relieving himself” on a police car while leaving the MCG.

There were also reports of spitting and children crying as they were caught up in the mayhem.

Robin, one of those to call 3AW, said she spent the last five minutes of the match trying to break-up fights between fans.

She said it happened in the Carlton members area.

“There were four, full-on fights where people were knocked out,” she said on 3AW Football.


An eye-witness account.

One star defender is the subject of repeated homophobic abuse, raising the idea of calling the phone number on the scoreboard by which you can report abusive behaviour.

But clearly identifying the source of the remarks in the pack in which the coward is concealed is difficult and, you suspect, alerting the authorities will only inflame an increasingly heated group.

… Where once the overt nature of loud and insistent barracking created some form of self-policing, the friction now seems like the wild, uncontrollable urges of those who have no sense of the consequences of their actions.

‘Dolphins head coach Brian Flores told reporters he believes people deserve a fourth chance.’

Haha. I mean second. He said second chance. But he can’t count.

What you do with your money if you’re a football school.

Give the coach $93 million.

‘[I]t is an admission that the Greek state is not competent … to control hooligans from clashing against each other outside sports arenas.’

And inside. The takeover of Greek soccer by violent fascistic gangs has led to the logical next step: No one, except for a few invited guests, will be allowed into the arena for the final of the Greek Cup.

Normal people have been driven out of Greek soccer arenas because the gangs are terrifying. Imagine bringing your kids to what are essentially enormous riots. This leaves the teams with nothing: a handful of peacekeeper/observers will be admitted, but that’s it.

UD’s buddy Jay Smith…

… is featured in the New York Times. Hot stuff.

Title IX in Action at Washington State University!

For every two male athletes afforded the opportunity to destroy neighborhood cars, one female athlete must be afforded the same opportunity.

“[Ira] Bowman, a former Providence and Penn player and the 1995-96 Ivy League Player of the Year, was hired as an Auburn [University] assistant [basketball coach] in July. He is the second Auburn assistant under head coach Bruce Pearl to have been linked to a federal bribery case. Pearl hired Bowman to replace former Tigers assistant Chuck Person, who was arrested in September 2017 in a federal bribery case involving college basketball corruption. Person is scheduled for trial in New York in June.”

Now … how can that happen? You take a real squeaky clean athletics program like Auburn and you hire TWO dirty coaches in succession! Bowman was spozed to be the good guy who replaced the bad guy, but he’s another bad guy! It’s just like when the University of Southern California appointed Varma to replace Puliafito! Well, I’m sure head coach Bruce Pearl don’t know anything about it.

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