January 9th, 2023

When packing your six year old’s pistol for school

Please help him to follow this one simple rule:

If shooting at teacher

He’s too short to reach her

So tell him to stand on a good sturdy stool.


Little tyke didn’t manage to get a good shot off; looks as though his teacher will survive.

Success will take patience: This was apparently his first attempted murder, and I’m sure there will be others. Over time, he will learn proper stance, a steadier hand, etc.

Dad! Ball’s in your court. Beyond the obvious (much more father/son time on the shooting range), you’re going to have to pack multiple weapons in the lunchbox from now on, so that your child is able to choose the most appropriate weapon for any given situation.

No fear: The boy has his whole life ahead of him, and this is America.


And a final, special message for the teacher: Apparently you caused the whole thing. Instead of letting the boy kill the classmate he was fighting with, you insisted on confiscating the weapon, which angered the boy and forced him to shoot at you. DO NOT – EVER – ATTEMPT TO GET BETWEEN A SIX YEAR OLD AND HIS RUGER. I suppose it didn’t even occur to you that this was probably a Christmas present, and one that he’s probably been begging for since he was three. Now it’s in the hands of the cops, and who knows how long it will be before his parents will be able to replace it with a junior AR-15.

Looks as though, because of you, Richneck Elementary School is going to have to wait some time before it gets its massacre. But all in good time.

December 20th, 2022

Of all our political pantos

The strangest by far is George Santos.

Not one claim is true;

Even says he’s a Jew!

“Oh and plus I made up Esperanto.”

December 7th, 2022

A young politician named Herschel

Has a brain that is all but inertial

His night and day REMs

Made it easy for DEMs

To run some amazing commercials

October 7th, 2022

We interrupt this blog for a commercial

About that ol’ abortion-lover Herschel:

First he bangs ’em like a champ

Next it’s forceps and a clamp —

For Georgia, this is nothing controversial.


Andrew Sullivan:

‘[T]he Senate candidacy of one Herschel Walker… [W]ords fail. No magical realist fiction writer could come up with something so sickeningly absurd. 

… This man is running for the Senate for one of our major political parties. Not even the House. The Senate. He’s clearly incapable of understanding even a scintilla of what his job would entail, and manifestly incapable of doing it.

… Walker stalked, harassed and threatened to murder his ex-wife, threats that were enough for a judge to grant her a protective order in 2005. She had divorced him four years earlier, citing “physically abusive and extremely threatening behavior.” At one point, he put a gun to her head and said “I’m going to blow your fucking brains out.” This week, his son, Christian, claimed that he and his mother had to move six times in six months to escape his threats of violence.

… [A] man [who] makes the problem of fatherlessness a central part of his campaign … turns out to be entirely AWOL in the lives of his own four children — from four different mothers, three of whom he only publicly acknowledged after the press discovered them… In the words of his own son this week: “Family values, people? He has four kids, four different women, wasn’t in the house raising one of them. He was out having sex with other women.”

… So here we have a celebrity candidate with no political experience, neither eloquent nor honest, who abandoned his kids, threatened to kill his ex-wife, and has serious mental health problems … who may hold the balance of the Senate in his hands. That’s what the GOP now is. And if he actually paid for an abortion, i.e. in the view of sincere evangelicals, paid for the murder of an innocent child?’



July 26th, 2022
‘[T]he former governor has dropped to third place.’

A Missouri psychotic named Greitens

Has watched as his Senate race tightens

He beats up his son

He threatens with guns

And Republican voters are frightened

July 24th, 2022
Go Beto.

A vote for Gov Gregory Abbott

Endangers your vibrator rabbit

Surrender your dildo

Your misery will grow

Vote Beto! and keep to your habit


Really – the race is as tight as a Kegel exercise. Now’s the time to give Beto money.

April 20th, 2022
The University of Colorado Sends its Regrets

Benson failed to detect on John Eastman

Any obvious Mark of the Beastman.

‘It was only much later

He came out as a traitor!

We ask you to leave us in peace, man.’

February 22nd, 2022

Though Mother Nature surely gains

When you grow trees on your remains

I find it more moral

To mix in with coral

For all of the fish it sustains

January 14th, 2022

A tenured Penn lawyer named Wax

Has problems with Asians and blacks

Though everyone’s through

With her vile racist spew

The school cannot give her the axe

December 3rd, 2021
The Mengele Maid: A Limerick
She's Fox News's new shogun
She shouts out her slogans
With every vile breath
Their Angel of Death
Choke on her name: Lara Logan

November 29th, 2021
As a big fancy Reb yada yada
I declare you persona non grata.
Dare not darken the door
Of my prayer room no more
Or I'll curse you forever to Yahweh. 
November 12th, 2021

The stinkiest form of excreta

Is Ohio’s fair son, Mark Pukita.

When asked for his views

He replies “Fuck the Jews.”

Has the brain of a sub. trilobita.

November 8th, 2021

Oxford is loath to look closely

At the money it took from Max Mosely.

“Why should we eschew?

Oh – that business with Jews.

All rumor and poppycock, mostly.”

October 2nd, 2021
Zebras in UD’s Neighborhood: A Limerick

The animal pen which you failed to braze

Let loose in the neighborhood utter amaze:

A five-equine zeal!

It seems so unreal.

But there it stands, striped and agraze.

August 16th, 2021

I think it un-Christian to smirk

At the virulent Cardinal Burke.

But it wouldn’t be wrong

To quote Zappa’s old song:

“Jesus thinks you’re a jerk.”

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