April 12th, 2024

Don Wilson he pulled out his cock.

At his rich flow of pee he did gawk.

‘Dear Lord, what a man!

Piss a bucket I can!

Now what did I do with that Glock?’

April 6th, 2024

Subpoenaing Gosar and Biggs

Makes me break into jubilant jigs.

Bizarros of MAGA

Don’t get any more gaga.

Let’s watch them and break out the cigs.


(Yes, subpoenaing contains every vowel.)

March 8th, 2024
Da Guy’s a One-Man Blue Zone!

UD will let everyone else make the obvious points about Biden’s state of the union: Aggressive, feisty, high-energy, confrontational, polemically sharp, etc.

UD will simply note that the dude is an inspiration to oldies everywhere. Eighty is the new fifty.


From Heather Cox Richardson, via my pal Al S.:

… Trump’s team has dismissed Haley supporters, saying he doesn’t need them. In contrast, President Joe Biden continued to broaden the Democrats’ tent. Biden reached out in a statement, saying there was a place for Haley supporters in his campaign. “I know there is a lot we won’t agree on,” he said, “But on the fundamental issues of preserving American democracy, on standing up for the rule of law, on treating each other with decency and dignity and respect, on preserving NATO and standing up to America’s adversaries, I hope and believe we can find common ground.”

… He asked Republicans to “speak the truth and bury the lies.” He urged them to “[r]emember your oath of office to defend against all threats foreign and domestic. Respect free and fair elections. Restore trust in our institutions. And make clear—political violence has absolutely no place in America.”
As Democrats stood to applaud, Republicans remained resolutely in their seats…

Age makes “certain things become clearer than ever before,” he said. “I know the American story.”

“Again and again I’ve seen the contest between competing forces in the battle for the soul of our nation. Between those who want to pull America back to the past and those who want to move America into the future. My lifetime has taught me to embrace freedom and democracy. A future based on the core values that have defined America. Honesty. Decency. Dignity. Equality. To respect everyone. To give everyone a fair shot. To give hate no safe harbor.  

“Now some other people my age see a different story,” he said, in a reference to Trump, who will turn 78 in June. “An American story of resentment, revenge, and retribution.”

“[T]he issue facing our nation isn’t how old we are, it’s how old our ideas are,” Biden said. “Hate, anger, revenge, retribution are among the oldest of ideas, but you can’t lead America with … ideas that only take us back.”

… [Republicans suggested that commentators describe their rebuttal choice] as “America’s mom.” [She gave the speech] in a kitchen.

‘[H]is high-decibel performance seemed to confound Republicans, who have spent years seeking to portray Biden as a near-catatonic dementia case.




Julia Ioffe, Washington correspondent for Puck News, said: “Imagine you’re sleeping over at a friend’s house and you get up in the middle of the night to pee and you hear a weird sound so you follow it to the kitchen, where your friend’s mom is drunk, crying, and rambling about the national debt. Those are the vibes from Katie Britt right now... “

The acting chops … are somewhere between porn and high school play.


And more porn! What exactly are people picking up on?

As someone who covers the far right and the Christian nationalist movement, Sen Katie Britt’s speech was the closest thing to porn they’ll consume.


“The sheer scale of her cringe became an instant legend.” Andrew Sullivan


“The Three Faces of Eve.”


Andrew Weissmann, MSNBC legal analyst and former federal prosecutor, wrote: “I don’t think Katie Britt is going to get the lead in the school play this year.”


There’s nothing I can quote from Britt’s speech that can convey the strangeness of it — the mismatched emotions, the smiles in the wrong places, the jaw clenched when it shouldn’t have been — just the indescribable weirdness. It was something that had to be seen, but even then, couldn’t be understood — like postmodernism, avant-garde performance art or an involuntary behavioral science experiment...  [S]he came off as the aunt who’s been spending too much time on Facebook, and if you don’t change the subject soon, she’s going to tell you about sex dungeons beneath the pizza parlor.



The MAGA reply from K. Britt

Hit home like a big piece of shit

She sat in her kitchen

Abitchin and bitchin

When she should have just read holy writ

March 6th, 2024

It’s obvious why Ancelloti

Along with the other lads –  thought he

Could simply relax

And cheat on his tax.

The big football leagues are that grotty.

December 6th, 2023

Lord Jesus approves of a digit

Inserted inside of Ms Bridget

But for non-Trumpy queers

His judgment’s severe:

Pull that thing away pronto, you idjit

September 29th, 2023
Snapshots from Home

UD’s favorite exchange from yesterday’s Biden impeachment inquiry featured her polygamy-defending GWU colleague, Jonathan Turley:

Raja Krishnamoorthi (D-IL): Professor Turley, in 2006, you wrote an op-ed in The Guardian entitled, quote, Stop Persecuting Polygamists. There, you likened polygamists to, quote, persecuted minorities. And you said polygamy is, quote, a practice with deep and good faith, religious meaning. Isn’t that what you said?

Turley: I represented the Sister Wives, a family, in challenging a polygamy prosecution.

Krishnamoorthi: The answer is yes. You’ve been crusading for legalizing polygamy for years. In fact, in an op-ed in the USA Today, you said that a Utah polygamist named Tom Green, who was also convicted of pedophilia for raping his 13-year-old stepdaughter, should not have been charged with polygamy. 


Years ago, UD wrote one of her best limericks (at least I think so) about her many-wives-loving colleague:

A colleague of UD‘s named Turley
Wants one boy to have many girlies.
“My thing on polygamy
Makes UD quite sick of me,
And even my wife has turned surly.”

August 30th, 2023

The question is now how much booty

The court will assess against Rudy.

To watch him defame

As he keeps playing games

Will no doubt be a thing of real beauty.

August 24th, 2023
The Trumpsters now offer their mugs:
Some giggle, some glower, some shrug.
Well, sooner or later
The law catches traitors
Right up to the primary thug.
June 21st, 2023
Limerick: John Eastman

When seeking to excise a varmint

The answer at hand is disbarment

For the absolute vile

You must put them on trial

And then cast them off like an old garment

January 9th, 2023

When packing your six year old’s pistol for school

Please help him to follow this one simple rule:

If shooting at teacher

He’s too short to reach her

So tell him to stand on a good sturdy stool.


Little tyke didn’t manage to get a good shot off; looks as though his teacher will survive.

Success will take patience: This was apparently his first attempted murder, and I’m sure there will be others. Over time, he will learn proper stance, a steadier hand, etc.

Dad! Ball’s in your court. Beyond the obvious (much more father/son time on the shooting range), you’re going to have to pack multiple weapons in the lunchbox from now on, so that your child is able to choose the most appropriate weapon for any given situation.

No fear: The boy has his whole life ahead of him, and this is America.


And a final, special message for the teacher: Apparently you caused the whole thing. Instead of letting the boy kill the classmate he was fighting with, you insisted on confiscating the weapon, which angered the boy and forced him to shoot at you. DO NOT – EVER – ATTEMPT TO GET BETWEEN A SIX YEAR OLD AND HIS RUGER. I suppose it didn’t even occur to you that this was probably a Christmas present, and one that he’s probably been begging for since he was three. Now it’s in the hands of the cops, and who knows how long it will be before his parents will be able to replace it with a junior AR-15.

Looks as though, because of you, Richneck Elementary School is going to have to wait some time before it gets its massacre. But all in good time.

December 20th, 2022

Of all our political pantos

The strangest by far is George Santos.

Not one claim is true;

Even says he’s a Jew!

“Oh and plus I made up Esperanto.”

December 7th, 2022

A young politician named Herschel

Has a brain that is all but inertial

His night and day REMs

Made it easy for DEMs

To run some amazing commercials

October 7th, 2022

We interrupt this blog for a commercial

About that ol’ abortion-lover Herschel:

First he bangs ’em like a champ

Next it’s forceps and a clamp —

For Georgia, this is nothing controversial.


Andrew Sullivan:

‘[T]he Senate candidacy of one Herschel Walker… [W]ords fail. No magical realist fiction writer could come up with something so sickeningly absurd. 

… This man is running for the Senate for one of our major political parties. Not even the House. The Senate. He’s clearly incapable of understanding even a scintilla of what his job would entail, and manifestly incapable of doing it.

… Walker stalked, harassed and threatened to murder his ex-wife, threats that were enough for a judge to grant her a protective order in 2005. She had divorced him four years earlier, citing “physically abusive and extremely threatening behavior.” At one point, he put a gun to her head and said “I’m going to blow your fucking brains out.” This week, his son, Christian, claimed that he and his mother had to move six times in six months to escape his threats of violence.

… [A] man [who] makes the problem of fatherlessness a central part of his campaign … turns out to be entirely AWOL in the lives of his own four children — from four different mothers, three of whom he only publicly acknowledged after the press discovered them… In the words of his own son this week: “Family values, people? He has four kids, four different women, wasn’t in the house raising one of them. He was out having sex with other women.”

… So here we have a celebrity candidate with no political experience, neither eloquent nor honest, who abandoned his kids, threatened to kill his ex-wife, and has serious mental health problems … who may hold the balance of the Senate in his hands. That’s what the GOP now is. And if he actually paid for an abortion, i.e. in the view of sincere evangelicals, paid for the murder of an innocent child?’



July 26th, 2022
‘[T]he former governor has dropped to third place.’

A Missouri psychotic named Greitens

Has watched as his Senate race tightens

He beats up his son

He threatens with guns

And Republican voters are frightened

July 24th, 2022
Go Beto.

A vote for Gov Gregory Abbott

Endangers your vibrator rabbit

Surrender your dildo

Your misery will grow

Vote Beto! and keep to your habit


Really – the race is as tight as a Kegel exercise. Now’s the time to give Beto money.

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