I think it un-Christian to smirk

At the virulent Cardinal Burke.

But it wouldn’t be wrong

To quote Zappa’s old song:

“Jesus thinks you’re a jerk.”


The one vote against was from Hawley

Who made his white power fans jolly:

‘He’ll stem the invasions

From boatloads of Asians

And kill this “democracy” folly.’


A Thank-You Note from Marjorie Taylor Greene,

to Guam

To our faraway enemy, Guam:

We all loved the cookies (nomnom!)

I put some in a cozy

As a gift for Pelosi

And delivered the rest to my mom


Some hotels might consider it jolly

To welcome Trump-gunfire volleys.

We might be called Loews

But that’s too low to go.

Let another hotel welcome Hawley.


The choice is quite clear for Ivanka

Attend or clear out for Sri Lanka

If she’s nice to Joe

She might not have to go

Though her choice puts her dad in a funka


UPDATE: Melania Trump also plans to attend: with a date! “Yes, eetz Johnny Depp. I like bad boys.”


There is a Trump lawyer named Powell

Whose ideas come direct from her bowel

The woman’s so fruity

That even Mad Rudy

Has needed to throw in the towel


An Islamist named Rached Khiari

Is tickled and not at all sorry

That fellow believers

Take massive meat cleavers

And make all free citizens quarry



Toobin, All Too Toobin

Some nibble a bit on a Reuben

Some slyly puff-puff on a Cuban

But if you assume

You can hide that from Zoom

You’ll end up like Jeffrey Toobin

The Latest.

When meeting with journalists daily

She handles them firmly but gaily.

Her briefing’s now viral

She’s entered the spiral:

Corona has caught up to Kayleigh.

‘In a car ride about a decade ago with a senior university official who has since left Liberty, “all [Liberty University President Jerry Falwell, Jr.] wanted to talk about was how he would nail his wife, how she couldn’t handle [his penis size], and stuff of that sort,” this former official recalled.’

Oh Lord, our President Falwell

Doth really really ball well.

Thou madest his cock

To roll and to rock.

Amen! He hath answered thy Call well.


Stand by for a statement from Tucker:

Who knew that Blake Neff was a fucker?

I shall now go away

To escape from a fray

That has totally made my ass pucker.”


You needn’t consult Alvin Toffler

To figure a future for Loeffler:

The stock deals of Kelly

Are stinky and smelly.

Her denials make things even awfler.


The tall man gets grouchy

When he hears li’l Fauci:

An icon of science

Who’s out of compliance

And gives the world’s leader an ouchy.


The win of one would-be commander
Looks dim when he too-left meanders
His answer on Castro
Will put him in last row
Unless someone sits down with Sanders


In secular France, it would seem,

We all have the right to blaspheme.

If you’re worried that’s gone

Listen up to Macron:

It’s the heart of what makes France supreme.

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