‘[T]he former governor has dropped to third place.’

A Missouri psychotic named Greitens

Has watched as his Senate race tightens

He beats up his son

He threatens with guns

And Republican voters are frightened

Go Beto.

A vote for Gov Gregory Abbott

Endangers your vibrator rabbit

Surrender your dildo

Your misery will grow

Vote Beto! and keep to your habit


Really – the race is as tight as a Kegel exercise. Now’s the time to give Beto money.

The University of Colorado Sends its Regrets

Benson failed to detect on John Eastman

Any obvious Mark of the Beastman.

‘It was only much later

He came out as a traitor!

We ask you to leave us in peace, man.’


Though Mother Nature surely gains

When you grow trees on your remains

I find it more moral

To mix in with coral

For all of the fish it sustains


A tenured Penn lawyer named Wax

Has problems with Asians and blacks

Though everyone’s through

With her vile racist spew

The school cannot give her the axe

The Mengele Maid: A Limerick
She's Fox News's new shogun
She shouts out her slogans
With every vile breath
Their Angel of Death
Choke on her name: Lara Logan

As a big fancy Reb yada yada
I declare you persona non grata.
Dare not darken the door
Of my prayer room no more
Or I'll curse you forever to Yahweh. 

The stinkiest form of excreta

Is Ohio’s fair son, Mark Pukita.

When asked for his views

He replies “Fuck the Jews.”

Has the brain of a sub. trilobita.


Oxford is loath to look closely

At the money it took from Max Mosely.

“Why should we eschew?

Oh – that business with Jews.

All rumor and poppycock, mostly.”

Zebras in UD’s Neighborhood: A Limerick

The animal pen which you failed to braze

Let loose in the neighborhood utter amaze:

A five-equine zeal!

It seems so unreal.

But there it stands, striped and agraze.


I think it un-Christian to smirk

At the virulent Cardinal Burke.

But it wouldn’t be wrong

To quote Zappa’s old song:

“Jesus thinks you’re a jerk.”


The one vote against was from Hawley

Who made his white power fans jolly:

‘He’ll stem the invasions

From boatloads of Asians

And kill this “democracy” folly.’


A Thank-You Note from Marjorie Taylor Greene,

to Guam

To our faraway enemy, Guam:

We all loved the cookies (nomnom!)

I put some in a cozy

As a gift for Pelosi

And delivered the rest to my mom


Some hotels might consider it jolly

To welcome Trump-gunfire volleys.

We might be called Loews

But that’s too low to go.

Let another hotel welcome Hawley.


The choice is quite clear for Ivanka

Attend or clear out for Sri Lanka

If she’s nice to Joe

She might not have to go

Though her choice puts her dad in a funka


UPDATE: Melania Trump also plans to attend: with a date! “Yes, eetz Johnny Depp. I like bad boys.”

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