Some hotels might consider it jolly

To welcome Trump-gunfire volleys.

We might be called Loews

But that’s too low to go.

Let another hotel welcome Hawley.

The choice is quite clear for Ivanka

Attend or clear out for Sri Lanka

If she’s nice to Joe

She might not have to go

Though her choice puts her dad in a funka

****************************

UPDATE: Melania Trump also plans to attend: with a date! “Yes, eetz Johnny Depp. I like bad boys.”

There is a Trump lawyer named Powell

Whose ideas come direct from her bowel

The woman’s so fruity

That even Mad Rudy

Has needed to throw in the towel

An Islamist named Rached Khiari

Is tickled and not at all sorry

That fellow believers

Take massive meat cleavers

And make all free citizens quarry

****************************

SAY THEIR NAMES! — RACHED KHIARI —

Some nibble a bit on a Reuben

Some slyly puff-puff on a Cuban

But if you assume

You can hide that from Zoom

You’ll end up like Jeffrey Toobin

When meeting with journalists daily

She handles them firmly but gaily.

Her briefing’s now viral

She’s entered the spiral:

Corona has caught up to Kayleigh.

Oh Lord, our President Falwell

Doth really really ball well.

Thou madest his cock

To roll and to rock.

Amen! He hath answered thy Call well.

Stand by for a statement from Tucker:

“Who knew that Blake Neff was a fucker?

I shall now go away

To escape from a fray

That has totally made my ass pucker.”

You needn’t consult Alvin Toffler

To figure a future for Loeffler:

The stock deals of Kelly

Are stinky and smelly.

Her denials make things even awfler.

The tall man gets grouchy

When he hears li’l Fauci:

An icon of science

Who’s out of compliance

And gives the world’s leader an ouchy.

 

The win of one would-be commander
Looks dim when he too-left meanders
His answer on Castro
Will put him in last row
Unless someone sits down with Sanders 

In secular France, it would seem,

We all have the right to blaspheme.

If you’re worried that’s gone

Listen up to Macron:

It’s the heart of what makes France supreme.

A hedge fund investor named Hodge

Had dummies he had to massage

To get into schools

That weren’t even cool

And now he is locked in une cage

She has already shared with you the limerick she wrote long ago about Jonathan Turley; now that Louis Gohmert has popped up in the impeachment proceedings, UD brings back an old limerick she wrote about his frustrated efforts to have the National Portrait Gallery remove a bust of Margaret Sanger.

A congressman famed for his anger
Wants museums to bust Margaret Sanger.
Their refusal leaves Louie
– At zero for two-y –
To calm himself down with his wanger.

… for whom lying about consensual sex is way impeachable, but bribing an ally desperate for military aid in a hot war is no way impeachable, UD thought she’d share this limerick she wrote years ago about Turley.

Turley is an avid defender of polygamists.

A colleague of UD‘s named Turley
Wants one boy to have many girlies.
“My thing on polygamy
Makes UD quite sick of me,
And even my wife has turned surly.”