Gohmert? UD has a limerick for him, too.

She has already shared with you the limerick she wrote long ago about Jonathan Turley; now that Louis Gohmert has popped up in the impeachment proceedings, UD brings back an old limerick she wrote about his frustrated efforts to have the National Portrait Gallery remove a bust of Margaret Sanger.

A congressman famed for his anger
Wants museums to bust Margaret Sanger.
Their refusal leaves Louie
– At zero for two-y –
To calm himself down with his wanger.

Since everyone’s talking about the legal, uh, situationalist Jonathan Turley…

… for whom lying about consensual sex is way impeachable, but bribing an ally desperate for military aid in a hot war is no way impeachable, UD thought she’d share this limerick she wrote years ago about Turley.

Turley is an avid defender of polygamists.

A colleague of UD‘s named Turley
Wants one boy to have many girlies.
“My thing on polygamy
Makes UD quite sick of me,
And even my wife has turned surly.”

The Dead
 My answer to Mr. Bloom, L.?
I'm fine, and am nowhere near hell.
My answer to this?
I'll stick with the Swiss.
The weather in Zurich is swell.


The way-Catholic Cardinal Ritter
Is standing knee-deep in the shitter.
But what can they do?
That fucking tattoo.
At least you can't call the team quitters.

The Tao of Chemistry

A naughty young man from Fuzhou

Thought China should equally know

Our every analysis

Regarding catalysis.

And now off to prison he’ll go.


The adventures of Leniency Alec

Are now looking downright vandalic:

From Epstein’s erections

To child-sex projections

The theme’s become totally phallic.

Ah, sweet mystery of life.

You can’t have a sip of Campari.

It’s hotter than ten Kalaharis.

So tell us Michel.

I mean, what the hell?

Why did FIFA select the Qataris?


Listen up, cuz I’m gonna be brief:

Who wrote the thing, Sontag or Rieff?

Conservative; Sorelist —
Who wrote Mind of Moralist?

Was someone around here a thief?


Our school of pharma doth deplore

The racketeering John Kapoor.

We’ve ordered a slurry

Cuz we’re in a hurry

To sandblast his name from the door.


At drug firms there’s truly a science

To being the Chief of Compliance:

A grasp geographic

Of best towns to traffic

Plus conspiracy, greed, and connivance.


Our period’s Decadent, Late.

Provenance: The Sackler Estate.

“But to pay for our Braques

With this family’s smahck

Is one step too far for the Tate.”

The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Head

The English narrator of ISIS

Now finds himself somewhat in crisis:

‘I chopped no one’s head!

I made not one man dead!

Get to know me – I’m really the nicest.’

Performing a Stiffyoscopy at the Underground

U Buffalo’s generous donor

Gives each of his salesmen a boner.

One dancer exotic

For every narcotic

That you sell for the company’s owner.


Ol’ Baylor grad Judge Ralphie Strother

Frees one Baylor boy after another.

“Hell them thangs ain’t rapes.

They jest got into some scrapes.

In Waco you look after yer brother.”


And good lord!  It’s hard to keep up with all the Baylor raping.  Here’s a handy timeline, just to get you started.


Grijalva attacks Ryan Zinke
Who hits back with G.’s problem with drinky.
Each man is a schlump
In the era of Trump;
It’s hard to say which is more stinky.

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