Dershcam: The Latest

UD‘s developing a crush on Elizabeth Dye, a writer for Above the Law. You should read her full piece on Dersh’s latest lawsuit; here are some highlights.

Alan Dershowitz is suing CNN for $300 million because the network defamatorily failed to quote a full paragraph of his arglebargling about Donald Trump’s impeachment, giving viewers the entirely false impression that the famed lawyer has lost his damn mind…

Were you under the impression that Dersh might have ruined his own reputation by going on Laura Ingraham’s show to shout about his “perfect, perfect sex life” …?

Or maybe your esteem started flagging at the quixotic attempt to quiet doubters by proving that he never not ever had sex with underage girls when he was hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein, an effort Dersh has bolstered by protracted litigation and public efforts to Zapruder the flight logs to show that he only went to Epstein’s sex island in the company of his wife.

… Might Americans have decided the famed constitutional scholar had lost a step when he took to the airways to assure Americans that he only got one massage at Jeffrey Epstein’s house, from an “old Russian woman,” and he kept his underwear on the whole time? Or when he threatened to sue CBS because a fictional character made a joke about it?

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Und so so so so so so weiter. Put DERSHOWITZ in my search engine for much more madness.

UD‘s explanation for the 82 year old Dershowitz’s behavior? It is part of his personal longevity routine. Not Blue Zone, but Sue Zone: As long as he’s bitterly embroiled in litigation with everyone in the world, his heart pumps lustily; he lives to sue another day. It’s the Jarndyce v. Jarndyce anti-jaundice treatment. And you gotta admit: It’s working.

The Paranoid Style in American…

Politics.

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Source material.

And I Am Telling You I’m …

Not Going.

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Ha. Cost you ten mill plus to get me hence.

And I’ve left behind the gift that keeps on giving: Your reputation is in tatters.

Life of the Party

At its core [the Republican party] is now ethnonationalist and populist, meaning that in its anti-establishment fervor it incites rather than refines public passions; it is increasingly antagonistic toward free markets, inward-looking and reactionary, hostile to diversity, pessimistic rather than optimistic, encased in cultural grievances, more interested in looking backward than forward…

[The party] has jettisoned [its family values orientation], defending a rogue who paid hush money to a porn star while cheating on his third wife…

[L]arge segments of the party are anti-intellectual, anti-science and dismissive of medical experts, to the point that it has turned wearing masks during a pandemic that’s spread by respiratory droplets into a “culture war” issue.

The party of law and order aggressively defends a president who is lawless. A party that for many years positioned itself as the defender of objective truth, a bulwark against subjectivism and ethical relativism, has as its leader a serially dishonest man who is engaged in a daily assault on reality.

During the 2016 campaign, Mr. Trump praised the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, who spread the false narrative that the Sandy Hook school shooting was a hoax — and just last week the president praised QAnon, which Kevin Roose of The Times describes as “a sprawling set of internet conspiracy theories that allege, falsely, that the world is run by a cabal of Satan-worshiping pedophiles who are plotting against Mr. Trump while operating a global child sex-trafficking ring.” The lunacy and paranoia that was once on the fringe is now becoming more and more mainstream…

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Qua the sex thing (porn stars, sex-trafficking rings…) — far as UD can tell, the only Trump balls left to drop, now that The Crook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover have splattered all over Libertine University (“Jerry enjoyed watching from the corner of the room.”), are those belonging to our vice-president. Talk about enjoying watching… Mr and Mrs VP have had front row seats all this time for all the kink, and UD for one is not fooled by their whey-faced wholesome waaaaal put er there friend pose. UD ain’t buying the Modesto Manifesto, the Mike Pence Rule, the squeezy-eye glorytime

on display here inches from the fuck-friendly Falwells… No, the devil will drag you under by the sharp lapel of your checkered coat and don’t think you’re any better than anyone else, Pences! Your story will emerge, and I’m thinking it will be even farther out than the Falwells.

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[Photo: Reuters, Jonathan Drake.]

‘Others say big Republican givers are holding back checks [to Trump’s reelection campaign] because of the potential business fallout of being a major Trump contributor. After word surfaced that fitness company executive Stephen Ross was hosting a Hamptons fundraiser for Trump, patrons at his Equinox and SoulCycle chains staged a boycott.’

Yes, yes. But the main thing is:

Look at the second photograph in this article. The picture of Sheldon Adelson and Trump. Doesn’t Adelson’s hair go with Trump’s face, and Trump’s hair go with Adelson’s face?

‘I became increasingly friendly with Scott [Fitzgerald] in the next few years, and most of our friends believed that he based the protagonist of his latest novel on me and that I had based my life on his previous novel and I finally wound up getting sued by a fictional character.’

Which – I’m having trouble keeping track, but … – which I think is the next thing that’s gonna happen to Alan Dershowitz.

They say there’s a market for anything…

but

Exciting Early Elmerian Excavation

[Spanish archeologist Eliseo] Gil proclaimed that his finds would “rewrite the history books”, and for a while it looked as though they might. But less than two years later, an expert committee poured icy water on the authenticity of the [third-century] discoveries. As well as pointing out that some of the pieces bore traces of modern glue, they found references to non-existent gods – and to the 17th-century French philosopher René Descartes.

It might be one of the worst places in the United States to live…

but it has a pop-pop-popping arts scene, and get a load of their city council conferences!

Pretty Punctilious for People Whose Main High School Sports an Enormous Vagina Sculpture.


The Matanuska-Susitna school board bans The Great Gatsby, Invisible Man, Catch-22, The Things They Carried and I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings cuz they so naughty, but sees nothing wrong with flaunting one of the world’s largest quims in front of Wasilla High.

A Life Crowded with Incident, as Lady Bracknell Would Say.

Rand Paul Tests Positive for Coronavirus Days After His Father Dismissed Panic Over the Disease as a Hoax

Rand Paul Loses Part of Lung After Attack by Neighbor

Rand Paul Stops Unanimous Passage of 9/11 First Responders Funding Bill

Rand Paul, Angry Over Plagiarism Charges, Wants to Sword Fight

What sort of jewelry store lets people with their faces fully covered come in and sample the goods?

Places like this deserve what they get. Men all over the world wear burqas to commit jewelry heists. Piaget didn’t know this?

Strongest contender so far this year for a…

... Darwin Award.

Well, it takes all kinds.

Harvard law professor Adrian Vermeule, currently enjoying his three minutes of fame onaccounta this concentration camp witticism, offers Alan Dershowitz serious competition in the Most Fucked Up Harvard Law Professor contest.

Since converting to Catholicism, Vermeule is now an advocate of integralism, a Roman Catholic political doctrine which calls for the abolition of the division between church and state, in order that the resulting state – which integralists deny would be a theocracy – can promote a religiously-determined “Highest Good” in place of the personal autonomy of a liberal democracy. Their ideal is to create this new confessional Catholic regime through “strategic raillement,” or transformation from within institutions and bureaucracies, rather than by winning elections. The groundwork for a full integralist regime would then be in place when liberal democracy dies. The new state would “exercise coercion over baptized citizens in a manner different from non-baptized citizens.” To achieve this end, Vermeule advocates giving confirmed Catholics priority in immigration, allowing them to “jump immediately to the head of the queue.” Vermeule describes this as being essential to “the eventual formation of the Empire of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and ultimately the world government required by natural law.”

Gloriosky.

How Did a Trump-Approved Accreditation Agency Miss the Red Flags at South Dakota’s Ronald Reagan National Univisaty?

Reagan National [University] has connections to a different kind of troubled institution, via its ties to the University of Northern Virginia. 

In 2011, federal immigration officials raided UNVA, threatening to suspend the college’s ability to accept foreign students. The suspicion: that Northern Virginia was a so-called “visa mill,” a college accused of peddling a chance to live in the U.S. rather than offering a meaningful education. 

The Virginia government closed Northern Virginia in 2013 because it wasn’t accredited. It resurfaced the same year with a South Dakota address — the same one Reagan National used on business filings, plus the same agent, Xianhua Fan, spelled slightly differently from the name listed for Reagan National’s president.

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Reporters unearthed these disturbing facts about RNU; the accreditor missed them. It also missed a few other signs that not all is on the up and up at RNU:

RNU Motto: Crescat Scientia; Visa Excolatur

VISA: Official Card of RNU

Visasion Statement: We aim to be, visa-vi other schools, the very best.

School Song:

F-1 me you sweet sweet visable u

J-1 me cuz that’ll work for me too

Just one look at you my heart grew tipsy in me

You and you alone can get a visa for me

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