November 30th, 2023
Christian Has Two Mommies

Christian has two mommies.

Mommy Bridget, and an unnamed third participant in Christian and Bridget’s threesomes. who’s accusing Christian of rape.

Mommy Bridget runs a book-burning group, Moms for Liberty.

She and Christian hate homosexuality and want all books about it destroyed.

They want those books replaced by books about threesomes.

Meanwhile, Becki and Jerry send their thoughts and prayers.

November 6th, 2023
What did he want to read?

During the morning session, Donald Trump attempted to read the contents of a sheet of paper he had in his pocket — an effort that violates trial procedure and decorum, and was immediately shut down by Judge Arthur Engoron.

“I’d love to read this, your honor, if I could, if I’m allowed to do that,” Trump said, clutching the paper.

“Not at this point, no,” Engoron said.

“Shock,” Trump muttered. “I’m shocked.”

It was not clear what Trump was attempting to read.

***************************

According to sources, this is the text:

There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into an abyss of injustice where they experience the bleakness of corroding despair.

November 3rd, 2023
How dare you lie to us about lying about the election and then not lie about the election.

We’re suing.

November 1st, 2023
Never know where you’ll find it.

On our drive to Rehoboth Beach today.

October 28th, 2023
And No Pence to Send Home to My Wife, Poor Wife.

Pence comes to the end of his song. History will show that his downfall lay in his dark unresolved love affair with Trump – a relationship observers have compared to that between Charlotte Rampling and Dirk Bogarde in the film Night Porter. Pence came to love his murderer — much too kinky for the average American voter.

October 22nd, 2023
Wow. I could see refusing to …

enter Taco Bell…

October 13th, 2023
Much at Steak in Trumpworld.

[S]upporters of [Jim] Jordan have been sharing Federal Election Commission [FEC] documents around Washington D.C. showing that [Steve] Scalise has spent more than $500,000 through his congressional campaign account [on steaks] at Capital Grille since 2011.

October 11th, 2023
Watch Sen. Tuberville Exit a Plane.

Tuberville Falls.

******************

Sing it.

Ever since ol’ Tommy took a tumble
And landed like a fool upon his ass
I’ve wondered when the rest of him would crumble
And make his farce a memory of the past…


When Bama makes no rendezvous
With folks whose brains are all doodoo
When this disgusting pol is through
Won’t our lives be fine?

August 22nd, 2023
A song to accompany…

this article.

****************************

The doctors cannot treat you if you’re dying

So all the doctors up and disappeared

Maternal deaths are secret – no fair prying – 

In Idaho!

Non-viable?  You’ll carry it to full-term

We’ll pray with you throughout it, never fear

Together we will honor all divine sperm

In Idaho!


I know it sounds a bit bizarre

It sounds a bit bizarre

But in Idaho

That’s how conditions are!

No pregnancy may end no matter danger

The zygote is a person through and through
In short, you’ll never know
A more pernicious foe

Than zealot evangelicals
Right here in Idaho

Idaho!  Idaho!
I know it gives a person pause,
But in Idaho
Those are the legal laws.

August 17th, 2023
The Devil’s Dictionary

BOOMERICO, n. A law which, when thrown, returns to the thrower.

August 12th, 2023
And congratulations on …

… a job well done!

August 9th, 2023
LOLOLOL

Patrons, who sign up as much for the prestige as the workouts, pay $900 per month to learn her Tracy Anderson Method – a dance-based workout in a room heated to 95 degrees with 75 per cent humidity.

… [O]n top of their hefty monthly membership costs there is also a fee to reserve a mat for the summer – which essentially allows people to save their favorite spots in class.

[I]n 2018 the price was already a hefty $3,000 but, as of this year, it has risen to a staggering $5,500.

… [Employees’] bodies were pushed to ‘breaking’ point with the level of intensity demanded from [them], with the heat of the studios also leaving them ‘exhausted and dehydrated.’ 

******************

UD notes that one popular way to differentiate/massively overprice yourself in postmodern American markets is via deadly perversion. You take a straightforward location/experience (workout studio, restaurant, coffee shop, tourism outing) and you utterly psychotically fuck it up so it might poison your clients or give them heat stroke or bankrupt them or generate homicidally competitive self-display. (See David Brooks on “dial-an-ordeal.”) People won’t tolerate your insane jacking up of the price unless you make them feel they’re in a sudden unforeseen windstorm on Everest that’s going to kill them.

August 8th, 2023
The nestling stays in the picture!

An adorably capricious Florida school board has changed its mind: And Tango Makes Three can stay in the library … for now! As soon as another patron catches wind of the book’s panting homoeroticism, it’ll be whisked away again. So get it while you can.

August 3rd, 2023
‘[E]ven the people who live on the streets are reluctant to come to the area.’

Wow, Tenderloin has really pushed the envelope. It has figured out a way to keep out the homeless!

August 2nd, 2023
Florida: Where flesh goes to…

rot.

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