May 16th, 2025
Elie Learns a Lesson.

The disgraced CEO of Nightingale Properties says he “learned a valuable lesson” about how he shouldn’t be trusted with other people’s money after admitting to a $63M fraud scheme. 

Elchonon “Elie” Schwartz is hoping to avoid jail time after pleading guilty to one count of wire fraud in February, which carries a maximum 20-year sentence.

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Good boy, Elie! You learned a lesson.

And now you may go.

May 3rd, 2025
Nude Ascending a …

Skyway.

April 18th, 2025
Keeping abreast of the…

truly principled.

April 13th, 2025
Joining Donnell Jetters in the President’s Cabinet…

… (background on Jetters here) will be Carrie Rivers, whose similar qualifications are described here.

March 29th, 2025
‘Charlie Javice says she can’t wear an ankle monitor prior to her JPMorgan fraud sentencing because she teaches pilates’

The jury found that [she] conspired in 2021 to trick the country’s largest bank out of $175 million…

Turns out the thing is “heavy [and] cumbersome [and] impede[s] her work as a fitness instructor… [It causes] Ms. Javice physical pain, has impeded her work as a fitness instructor, and has resulted in delays and complications at TSA screening when she travels.”

Who knew stealing $175 million would have serious implications?

March 26th, 2025
Plus he’s a registered Democrat.

“Why doesn’t Jeffrey Goldberg disclose to readers in his stories that he is a registered Democrat?,” [Donald Trump] Jr. tweeted on Tuesday afternoon. “His wife also worked for Hillary Clinton and has donated nearly $25k to Democrats.”

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… “Great question, Don. Why did Pete Hegseth share classified military intelligence with a registered Democrat in an unsecured Signal chat?”

… “[T]op Cabinet officials added a registered Democrat to their war plan chat on an unsecured app?” 

… “So the Trump administration is talking about classified information on a commercial app on their private phones — and they added a registered democrat to the conversation without noticing it?”

March 19th, 2025
SEE ANDREW RUN. SEE ANDREW RUN TO KILL COPS.

The tykes at Liberty Elementary School are the beneficiaries of the tendency of the Baltimore school system not to do background checks. Their teacher Mr Britt’s a real live pistol packing criminal! His latest foray involved shooting at a bunch of policemen in the parking lot of their precinct building. Didn’t kill anyone, and didn’t get killed, so I guess after he’s done with the justice system it’s back to work.

March 3rd, 2025
Updated faculty page, U Conn.

Sherry Zane is working on a co-edited book project, Divergent Morals: Cash and Contrivance. She recently co-edited Lessons from Audre Lorde’s The Misuses of Reimbursement.

February 27th, 2025
“It’s a bit concerning for Tennessee to be the kind of state that it is, and what we rank in education,” she said. “I don’t think that taking books away from kids is gonna help there.”

A mother of school age kids worries about an already benighted state censoring hundreds of classic literary and historical works — I mean, they’re basically dismantling their school libraries down there…

Choosing to be dumber rather than smarter is, I guess, odd; but some people’s motives seem to ol’ UD pretty clear. If what props you up in life is the inerrancy of the Bible, the errancy of vaccines, and the advantages of authoritarianism over democracy you’re not gonna want to disturb that scaffolding.

February 11th, 2025
‘Defendant now objects to posting as collateral the very same residence that, per the Indictment, he would not have been able to purchase but for his fraudulent misconduct.’

LOL. We all enjoy watching a tool who used to tool around in a $300,000 Ferrari fall totally and publicly to pieces. It’s interesting and even feels sort of instructive to watch the self-decimation of a compulsive liar/gambler/asshole etc etc etc.

Better too when he splats, with cartoon loudness, from a great height (Supreme Court arguments! Akin Gump!).

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But where is Alan Dershowitz, Guardian Angel of the Gruesome, in all of this? Shouldn’t he be rushing to the defense of the great and good Tom Goldstein, down the street neighbor (okay he lives a couple of miles away) of none other than Les UDs? “The Justice Department harassment of this man is nothing more than envy of success.” UD predicts that’s the next thing that happens to this uber-greedy, tax-evading, income-hiding, fake-jobs-creator-for-his-bedmates, little shit. Alan Dershowitz to the rescue.

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But no. He’s going to represent himself.

Which can be risky (see 3:57)

February 10th, 2025
Do you realize there isn’t a single Muslim on that jury?

Salman Rushdie Attacker will not get Fair Trial as Jury has No Muslims, says Lawyer

Fielding Mellish got there first.

February 9th, 2025
Gaza: Bombed Back to the …

Pelzman Age.

February 2nd, 2025
Hadn’t thought of the Arkansas angle.

This guy seems upset that one of this nation’s standard-issue retarded nazis is a way-proud Arkansan who drapes a Razorback flag behind him whenever he films himself talking.

Apparently, this featherweight champ and all round flat earther – I mean all flat flat earther- “defile[s] the very name of ‘Arkansas'” when he shares his knowledge that the mass killings of children in this country are carried out by the deep state to make us think guns are dangerous, that Hitler was sent by God to kill dirty Jews who were going to make everyone gay, that Jesus is King, and that our greatest state by far is Arkansas.

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Well. We’ve followed the benighted state of Arkansas on this blog for years – a standard-issue brainless drunk sports obsessed southern wasteland – and it’s been on a self-defilement tear for decades. It really needs no help from some fascist clodpole, and he won’t have any effect on the state’s ranking cuz it’s already third from the bottom and it’s hard to get lower than that.

January 29th, 2025
That seems too many, but I guess it depends on how close by to you…

they live.

January 28th, 2025
Tom Goldstein Issues Himself a Preemptive Pardon

A couple of months ago, he argued that a man who makes under the table payments to women for sex, cheats on his taxes, and so on, should have all cases against him dropped IF he’s an exceptional person – like, frinstance, if he’s the just-elected president of the United States.

Now Goldstein has himself been indicted on “four counts of tax evasion, 10 counts of aiding and assisting the preparation of false and fraudulent tax returns, five counts of willful failure to pay taxes, and three counts of making a false statement on a loan application.”

He also seems to have hired women he was shtupping to work at his law firm, where their duties were apparently extremely specialized.

He lived a mile or two from UD, in sooperprestigious Chevy Chase, but then decided he wanted something even prestigiouser — a $2.6 million DC manse — and reportedly committed mortgage fraud to get it.

But all should be forgiven, if you follow his NYT opinion piece about dropping all charges against Trump, because he, like Trump, is a very exceptional individual.

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