Bad, bad, little boys! Put your heads down and shut up while I prepare the country…

…for President Warren.

A triumph of the human constitution: Ginger Baker lives to age eighty.

Don’t try this at home.

Defenseman Duckworth: He’s Got it All!

The compleat Louisiana State University student, Li’l Cade The Frat Man smiles at you from his latest mug shot. Get lost in his baby blues and you’ll find everything that makes LSU the fabled school that it is: Sports, Sadism, and Stupefacients.

Witnesses described being forced to lie on broken glass, face down while they both sprayed with a hose, had milk crates thrown at them, and were urinated on.

Duckworth was booked on three counts of misdemeanor criminal hazing (misdemeanor) and one count each of attempted second degree battery, second degree battery and false imprisonment — all felonies.

This was not Duckworth’s first brush with the law. In 2017, he was arrested following a home invasion and burglary near LSU. During a search of the home where the reported robbery took place, police found marijuana and MDMA, also known as ecstasy. Duckworth was booked on one count of possession with intent to distribute …

Honey, only two things missing – sexual assault and possession of an illegal AK47 – and you know the cops is gonna find them iffn they just look more careful.

You can read up on LSU right here on this here blog iffn you want some background on how a university becomes famous for spawning vast colonies of students like this here Li’l Cade. I mean, the place’d be nuthin without its Greek life.

‘Drop your panties for I cannot wait til lunchtime.’

This is apparently the last place Hungarian passion expressed itself. Poor Viktor Orban.


How do you convince the tiny female population you have left to become state-sponsored brood mares? Orban himself produced five children. Maybe the solution is for him to visit targeted Hungarian homes and fuck any woman under the age of forty whether she likes it or not.

“One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! Come on, comrades, put a bit of life into it! One, two, three … I’m thirty-nine and I’ve had four children.”

UD’s Mother

Mitzi, with one of her award-winning
English Cocker Spaniels.







Pat the Hunny

Springtime for Hitler.







“[His] habit of wearing his hideous Casio turned so that the face is on the inside of his wrist, the way an infantryman would…”

Fun read on the rectitude-look.







“STEVE BANNON SAID HE ‘DIDN’T WANT TO BE A WET NURSE FOR A 71-YEAR-OLD’ AS HE LEFT WHITE HOUSE”

UD has always believed that if men could work out their differences verbally, rather than physically, the world would be a better place. Make speech acts, not war, is the rallying cry. Utterance; not ordinance. Phatics; not automatics.

You may recall the principle from the more homely Use your words, not your fists that you heard growing up.

UD envisions military institutes in this country staffed by people like Bannon and you know who, training generations of young men to think linguistically.







Barebacking…







‘Should the Heisman Trophy be a character award?’

[Johnny] Manziel … won the Heisman in 2012… Other recent Heisman winners with questionable off-field problems include Auburn’s Cam Newton, who was in the middle of an NCAA eligibility investigation when he won the 2010 trophy.

In 2013, Florida State’s Jameis Winston was being investigated for a rape accusation in the middle of his Heisman run. There are more than 900 Heisman voters, and Winston was left off 115 ballots entirely. He still won the award with the fifth-largest margin ever, and he was never convicted in the investigation.

Other Heisman winners include O.J. Simpson, who was charged in an infamous murder case and later convicted of armed robbery and kidnapping in a separate 2007 case. Then there’s LSU’s Billy Canon, the 1959 Heisman winner who later in life spent more than two years in federal prison as a result of a massive counterfeiting scheme.

But the only player ever to have to vacate a trophy was USC running back Reggie Bush, who was found guilty in an NCAA investigation of taking improper benefits from an agent while at USC.

******************

[Last February, University of Oklahoma Heisman candidate Baker Mayfield was arrested for public intoxication.] In a dash cam video that went viral, Mayfield was seen shouting and cursing at police officers. When confronted, he attempted to run, only to be tackled into a wall. The video also showed him on the brink of crying in the back of a police car.

… Mayfield grabbed his crotch and shouted expletives in OU’s game against Kansas. Combined with the arrest and Mayfield’s flag-plant at Ohio State that caused a stir, Mayfield was forced to deliver his third public apology in less than a year.







Lip-Smackingly Good

‘Pharma Bro’ Martin Shkreli Endorses Donald Trump







“It is time to treat him with the contempt he deserves. Withdraw the affectations of achievement, like his honorary doctorate from De Montfort University in Leicester, one of 76 awards listed in his suitably surreal biography on the Fifa website.”

Back in November 2014, in The Independent, Michael Calvin noted Sepp Blatter’s honorary degree from De Montfort University. The award’s citation reads in part: “He is forthright, visionary, ethical …”

And before you smirk – here are some other honorary degree recipients:

Bernie Madoff.

Lance Armstrong.

Jamie Dimon.







Blatteur-en-Scene

Blatter, sitting in an upright position, opens the envelope. What dexterity. It’s Blatter again, walking into a meeting, left foot first, then the right, knotting his necktie as he goes. A cool customer, this Blatter. Now sipping his drink, now negotiating with Horst Dassler of Adidas, back and forth and …

GOOOOOL!!!







This is what a valedictory for a long-serving, high-ranking academic administrator at the University of Louisville looks like.

Andrew Wolfson, The Courier-Journal:

Under her watch, …university employees have stole[n], misspent or mishandled at least $7.6 million in schemes at the health science campus, the law school, the business school and the athletic department’s ticket office.

[Provost Shirley] Willihnganz also was criticized for approving about $1 million in buyouts for former high-ranking employees, some of which included agreements not to disparage the university or its leaders.

She also was forced to apologize to faculty in 2008 for failing to act against [Robert] Felner, the education dean, despite more than 30 grievances and complaints that he had intimidated, harassed, humiliated and retaliated against faculty, staff, students and alumni.

Willihnganz said at the time that she tended to dismiss the early complaints against Felner — including a no-confidence vote by faculty — because he was a “high performer” and because the complaints came from professors and staff “entrenched in their ways and resistant to change.”

She later told faculty at a meeting that she was sorry. “Mostly what I think I want to say is people have been hurt and something very bad happened, and as provost I feel like I am ultimately responsible for that,” she said.

Felner was sentenced in 2010 to 63 months in federal prison for taking $2.3 million from U of L and the University of Rhode Island.

Ave atque vale!







Song of Bernadette

O MAGNUM MYSTERIUM
That thou shouldst attend no class
Yet score naught but A’s!
Alleluia.







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