November 15th, 2022
‘[B]oth he and his daughter-in-law, Lara Trump, have made thinly-veiled threats…’

It will not be easy to dislodge Mr. Trump. His bond with his supporters is personal — it is based on the promise of humiliating … enemies… The … current Republican Party … is depraved

Insufficiently depraved MAGA lasses – Ivanka Trump, Kayleigh McEnany – are jumping ship post non-tsunami, leaving the head of the ladies’ auxiliary open to the woman who has long desired and deserved it — the yugely sadistic pasionaria Lara Trump, who UD believes has a clear path to leadership, not only because of her personal qualities, but because she is the likeliest answer to the question Bill Maher recently posed.

Politically ambitious, an absolutely savage lover of violence, Lara blows wannabe brutalists like Kari Lake and Sarah Palin out of the water. Unlike Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lara’s no buffoon; she’s always calm, smiling, and camera-ready. Unlike Kimberly Guilfoyle, who will never live this down, Lara would never let her fervency reduce her to a national joke. On the contrary, her frank, rational disclosure of the charismatic malignity of the Trump revolution seems likely to move her into a commanding position vis-a-vis Trump himself. Bitter and sedentary, he can hardly compete with a perky marathon runner who tirelessly carries the torch he lit but can no longer hold aloft.

Lake, Palin, Boebert, Greene, Guilfoyle – these will form the core of Lara’s Lasserators. Many more will follow.

**********************

UPDATE: Details on Lara’s master plan are beginning to come in. Here’s what we’re hearing.

A lot of people are saying that her hush-hush relationship with her father-in-law (see above) has to do with blackmailing him to make her his VP: A Trump/Trump ticket.

A lot of other people are saying that she won’t even have to blackmail him. She is in her own right the perfect candidate: Absolutely fully committed to the MAGA agenda. Young, to pull in the youth vote. Smart, articulate, fearless, with the patented Trump cruelty. A woman and a family member whose enormous enthusiasm will counteract Ivanka’s refusal to be involved in the campaign. This blog will provide updates as this intriguing story develops.

November 14th, 2022
‘Ms. Lake attacked the news media and campaigned on culture-war issues, barnstorming the state with … right-wing supporters, including Steve Bannon, the former Trump adviser, and Senators Tom Cotton of Arkansas and Josh Hawley of Missouri. … At a campaign rally just days before the election, Ms. Lake invited Wendy Rogers, a state lawmaker, on to the stage. Ms. Rogers was censured by the State Senate after giving a speech at a far-right conference with ties to white supremacy.’

Great cast of characters there, and I’m sure she would have won if she’d added John Eastman, Rudy Giuliani, and Sidney Powell. Where were her campaign advisors?

November 13th, 2022
Far as I can tell, the only person who confidently predicted the whole thing was…

Michael Moore.

October 2nd, 2022
Your Republican Party

When will Repubs give in to their deepest passion of all and welcome The Dear Leader to the next CPAC?

August 29th, 2022
The KIMVIK Rally: Sign of Republican Desperation, or Just a Rallying of the Troops?

UD is intrigued by the upcoming special event, to be held on the evening of November 24 (Thanksgiving), in Roberts County, Texas (in 2017, Roberts voted 95.7% – more than any American county – for Trump). The RNC will reportedly bring together on the same stage, for one night only, its two most inspirational speakers, Kimberly Guilfoyle and Viktor Orban, to offer thanks for Donald Trump, and to instill enthusiasm in a declining-morale political movement.

[Reuters]

The party’s leader will likely be indicted, and his theft of sensitive political documents has shocked many former supporters; its congressional prospects dim by the moment; and its full-throated endorsement of attacks on the rights of girls and women has fired up Democratic voters like never before. To counter all of this, the RNC will stage a kind of song and dance between these two veteran crowd-pleasers, in which (if I’m reading advance materials correctly) they will burst out of either stage wing and lock arms center stage while calling each other “Zsa Zsa” and “Dolphie.”

The orchestra will then accompany them in a hilarious version of “You Say Tomato I Say Tomahto,” after which, once the audience settles down, things will take a more serious turn, with reminders from Orban and Guilfoyle that race mixing, homosexuality, and abortion await a nation run by Democrats.

Hey Zsa Zsa want to date?

Let me give you a hand with

Your Replacement Rate!

As Orban sings this next number, Guilfoyle will look confused. Regarding her accusingly, he will pick up the song:

Three ex-husbands, tons of ex-beaus

And Kimberly’s had only one kid!

You’re keeping the white birth rate low!

Aryan Nation’s on a skid!

Kimberly giggles, and coos: “You’re saying you want to do something about it?”

*************************

Apparently there’s a lot more where that came from, but I’ve only been able to get hold of the two opening numbers.

April 10th, 2022
PUTIN INTRODUCES HIS LATEST COMMANDING GENERAL
“A blind psychic, Baba Vanga, predicted Russian President Vladimir Putin would become ‘Lord of the World’.”
March 23rd, 2022
‘Senator Says Legalizing Interracial Marriage Was a Mistake, Backtracks Unconvincingly’

A long overdue reckoning with this country’s shameful history of miscegenation has been inaugurated by Indiana Republican Mike Braun. Indiana will apparently be the first in the nation to introduce a Population Registration Act, in which all Hoosiers will be classified as one of the following

1.native

2.colored

3.Asian

4.white

March 17th, 2022
Rand Paul Addresses the Nation

In a blistering speech broadcast today, Senator Rand Paul (pictured) attacked Anthony Fauci as “traitorous scum that I will spit out like a midge.” America, he said, must “purify” itself of “seditious trash” like Fauci.

Analysts noted Rand’s puffy face and trembling hands as indicators of rage and frustration that his long campaign to destroy Fauci continues to meet with failure. Observers found particularly chilling Rand’s flourishing, at one point, of a poisoned-tip umbrella.

[satire]

March 5th, 2022
Now known as Tokhman Karlovich








UD thanks Al.

October 27th, 2021
What Becomes a Revolutionary Most?

Honesty. John Eastman, Trump revolutionary who conspired to overthrow the United States government, speaks honestly about his anti-democratic praxis to Lauren Windsor. His pride in his almost-successful subversion of America shines forth just as strongly, in this exchange, as his anger at turncoat Mike Pence and at traitorous inside-the-Beltway RINOs more interested in their “cushy,” materialistic lives than sacrificing for the revolution.

Eastman himself seems to have made about $500,000 a year as a law school dean, but that’s not materialistic because he was doing the Lord’s work.

July 28th, 2021
“Talk dirty to me, Donald…

… You’ve called McConnell a dumb son of a bitch… You’ve called almost everyone who matters a jerk a fool an idiot an imbecile a cretin…

When do I get mine? I wait and I wait and time passes and then today!

Today Nancy Pelosi called me a moron.

That was supposed to be you! I was supposed to suffer abuse at your hands and grovel for more. Instead, Pelosi takes the words out of your mouth!

Don’t let the Dems win. TALK DIRTY TO ME.”

July 7th, 2021
“Keep in mind that we’re not counting, here, the high school principal (heartfelt commencement speech) or the man of God (sermons). Although they always bring a sparkle to UD‘s eyes, these cases [of plagiarism] are too measly to be worth noticing.”

Or not. Apparently Sermon Stealing is worth noticing (by the New York Times!) on a sort of high-season basis, when one instance of it goes viral and prompts urgent discussion about the morality of getting emotional in front of the flock and testifying to someone else’s love of Jesus as if it were your own.

This latest shock and awe that ill-educated inspirationalists copy their betters will blow over in a sec, and the Bible Belt Industrial Complex will resume operations.

April 26th, 2021
When your US Representative is Don Young, you have to go to a LOT of trouble to look stupid.

Young seemed to have set the standard impossibly high, but state senator Lora Reinbold has been in there slugging away for some time, and has now attracted national attention.

Alaska lawmaker blasted airline for ‘mask tyranny.’ Now she’s banned from the only flights to the capital.

That’s the Washington Post headline; plenty more like that all over the place. The germ theory of disease hasn’t reached Alaska yet, and Reinhold sees no reason to pretend that it has. She’s picked so many fights with Alaska Airlines personnel (the cops got called to one of them) over their silly pointless masking rules that the airline has banned her; and, well, Alaska… Not all that easy to get around. Only one airline available to her. So now she’s Nanook of the North, trudging, over many years, fingers frostbit as she clings to ice floes, to get to the capitol – but she’s also banned from most parts of the capitol building! – and now she emerges as a national heroine, a pioneering inspiration among her fellow anti-vax, anti-mask, anti-science, anti-evolution Americans. Just wait until Alaska secedes from the United States! The tyranny of empiricism will finally come to an end.

***************

UD thanks JKW for correcting her: Young is in the House, not the Senate.

January 25th, 2021
The Wondrous World of Josh

Ever since he was a little boy, Josh has defended misunderstood domestic terrorists. Now that he’s all grown up, he’s leading them!

January 21st, 2021
What a difference a day makes.

The best version. Obviously.

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