… about which Leon Cooperman weepingly complained, is nothing. Now they’re profiling them!

Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay said his March 2014 arrest for driving under the influence was a result of prejudice against him for being white and wealthy…

“I am prejudiced against because I’m a rich, white billionaire.” 

People also probably take against him for his tendency toward redundancy (“rich… billionaire”) and his tendency to endanger us all by driving while high as a kite.

 Irsay had the painkillers oxycodone and hydrocodone as well as alprazolam, which is used to treat anxiety, in his system at the time of his arrest. Officers on the scene said he had trouble reciting the alphabet and failed other field sobriety tests.

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Get yours today.

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And UD pledges to be kinder to this much-misunderstood demographic.

 LEWIS tipped both O’CONNOR and WAUGH and encouraged them to trade based on material, non-public information.  In one instance, LEWIS gave O’CONNOR and WAUGH loans, each worth $500,000, so they could buy a company’s stock before the public release of favorable clinical results.  In connection with that loan, O’CONNOR texted a friend to buy the stock, told the friend the “Boss is helping us out and told us to get ASAP,” and assured the friend that “All conversations on app is encrypted so all good.  No one can ever see.” 

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Wow. You know you’ve made it when your bail is set at $300 million.

Bankrupt, and drop dead GORGEOUS.

I told you it’s hard to keep up.

Even if, like UD, you really try.

Asked for a reaction, one Wharton insider said: “We clearly need to search our soul. But we haven’t got a soul.”

But surely the school knows that Wharton has produced REAMS of indicted businesspeople. You can get a start on the honor roll on this blog. UD decided a few years ago to keep track of jailed Wharton grads (start with the Dec. 28, 2017 post), but she couldn’t keep up.

The hottest $1.3 billion thief EVER is BAAAAAAACK. The man who masterminded the “largest single criminal health-care fraud” in DOJ history got his ass out of jail thanks to his BFF Donald Trump’s pardon, but HUUUGE UD crush Philip Esformes [earlier posts here] is now back in court and I can’t wait to see him again!

Not just cuz he’s cute as hell w/ his Florida tan and late model sports cars, but because he’s done it all. The Medicare fraud was – for those of us who know and … well…. stalk this sex god – nothing. Nothing! Big Phil’s a crook in every conceivable way. You go ahead and name the crime, he’s… well, he hasn’t done the time, because of Trump, but he’s def. done the crime! I’m too old and tired to name them all (and them’s only the ones we know about), but on top of ALL THAT, Esformes is a staggeringly pious Orthodox Jew who always makes a point of giving some of his stolen loot – acquired through the pain and suffering of generations of old people – to Orthodox causes. If you’ve followed the endemic criminality of large swathes of Orthodoxy on this blog, you know that Phil is just a drop in the bucket. But what a drop! Adorable. And coming soon to a court near you.

For years UD has gazed, appalled, at the doll army of Japanese royal women — all of them kitted out in the same sick uniform: tight little pastel pillbox, hair tightly pulled in, supremely vapid tight smile, weeny uniform earrings, cheesy pastel body-covers, white gloves tightly suspended above any suggestion of sexual life, dead white pumps.

So how great to read that the third from the left automaton in this photograph decided that instead of a life of pilled up psychosis she would ditch the whole sick thing, fall in love with a guy who wears a ponytail, and move – where else? – to New York City. Look at her now!

UD is a sucker for these liberatory tales, especially tales that feature people who have the guts to suffer all the anguish that powerful perverted institutions can make them suffer for revealing/rejecting the perversion. There’s a word for women like Mako: pioneers. Because of her, the sick palace parade will perhaps die of its sickness.

Meanwhile, though, what a pleasure to watch her in that greatest of liberatory cities, New York, as she strides the open streets openly in her flowing hair and skirt and boy shoes!

… of the way we were...

Mr. Ng’s lawyers have attacked Mr. Leissner’s credibility, calling him a two-time bigamist — a description that Mr. Leissner acknowledged was true.

When she’s not singing opera, she’s making olive oil from her own grove in Greece.

“I cry when I come home. Whenever I board the plane, the tears begin. I need the sun as an inspiration.”

Now see that’s the part I’ll never understand. You’re running a vast, multi-million dollar criminal enterprise against the United States government. If you get caught, the prospect of your ever getting out of jail is dim. And yet when some entity at some point in your complex shakedown process refuses payment, YOU SUE THEM.

Does it not occur to you that it would be better to take this or that secondary loss and keep your head down?

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Reminds UD of MIT’s sainted Dean Gabriel Bitran. He had a great criminal enterprise going until he and his son CONTACTED THE SEC.

The scheme was uncovered by the United States Securities and Exchange Commission when, while investigating potential victims of the Bernie Madoff fraud, SEC officials asked for documentation to support the Bitrans’ returns claims. The Bitrans then made false statements to the SEC examiners and provided fabricated records.

Ja, ja, the common thread here is mindless bottomless promiscuous depraved and degenerate GREED. I get it. Not one cent that you’ve earned through unnecessary surgeries or investor swindling must be allowed to slip through your hands. And by the way if Madoff money is being handed out, you’re damned well going to get some. Etc.

The criminal mind certainly has its … caesuras. I mean, no one is perfect – I get that, too – but you’d think veteran villains would avoid making unforced errors.

It’s hard to put the big guys away (just ask John Hammergren), but they did just get Laurence Doud, and that ain’t chopped opioids.

He got the pharmacist award the same year he was indicted, which means that the Pharmacists Society has now had, uh, five years to stop boasting about him.

The criteria for this award is very selective and discerning… He has provided creativity, innovation, and moral support for decades to his true passion: pharmacy. Doud also received an Honorary Doctorate from Albany College of Pharmacy and Health Science in 2016.

That’s six years the Albany College has had to mull its decision to honor CEO Inmate Number One.

… feeds a bird brioche in Cozumel.

Les Suissérables

There’s a grief that can’t be spoken
There’s a pain goes on and on
Empty jets and covid breaches
Now António’s dead and gone

He diverted to the Maldives

Just to have some harmless fun
And the bank paid for the Cessna
Which is — just the way it’s done…

But then nasty jealous voices

Spilled the beans on Chairman Tón
They objected to his privilege
And his seats at Wimbledon

I can hear his weeping now!

The very rules that he had broken
Became his last communion
On his final private flight
At dawn

‘Credit Suisse, oh Suisse, forgive me
That I drained you and am done
There’s much more I could have taken
But those dreams are dead and gone’

Phantom pilots at the cockpit
Phantom stewards at the door
Empty seats on empty Cessnas
Where António sits no more