It’s a Child-Massacre Hoedown!!

But for some reason Don McLean just ain’t in the mood this year.

And neither is the stinkin’ rich genius who made and marketed the gun Wee Hitler used on all them little kids. Hey fella where’s your sense of fun? What’s with you and McLean?

Better not be any more cancellations. We gonna pah-tyyy!!!


Ten minutes later:

Whoops! Plumb forgot the whole Ukraine thing. But I still love assault weapons, specially for teens!


U.S. Sen. John Cornyn was slated to speak at the convention but his team told news outlets on Tuesday the Republican had notified the NRA he would not be attending because of an “unexpected change in his schedule”…

F-a-a-a-ck… they’re dropping like… And now that pussy Abbott says he ain’t sure he’s going either…


Finally some good news! The NRA announces that Motörhead will replace Don McLean and will sing Dancing on Your Grave!

“Mississippi, 28.6 gun deaths per 100,000 residents. According to Everytown, Mississippi lacks all five foundational policies, having recently repealed a permit requirement for carrying a concealed weapon in public. The state also leads the nation in gun deaths, with more than double the national average, per the Giffords Law Center.”

Here’s a thought. Start at the bottom, or the top, which, as always, is Mississippi. Number One for least restrictive gun laws in the country. Number One for gun homicides.

Start there. I don’t say try to change it; Mississippi will always be like this.

But, for once, as a nation, pay attention to Mississippi. Gun-wise, it has the worst of everything. Gun-wise, it is, for states that want to change, that can change, the basest baseline. Ask yourself: What exactly is Mississippi doing? How can we not do that? How can we be better than Mississippi?

‘We cannot continue to stand by and do nothing.’

Of course we’ll do something. We’ll make Texas’s gun laws even looser.

“Abdullah was on bail for previous violent offenses. In 2017, … [he] was arrested on an 83-count indictment from the Manhattan District Attorney for a slew of offenses along with other known members of the Harlem-based gangs Fast Money and Nine Block. ‘The violence alleged in the indictments includes eight shootings, with eight shooting victims, as well as slashings, gang assaults, gunpoint robberies and various weapons-related offenses,’ the Manhattan District Attorney announced at the time… He pleaded guilty to attempted criminal possession of a weapon and conspiracy charges the following year in exchange for a maximum prison term of three years – but he was paroled by June 2019. Just six months later, in January 2020, Abdullah was again arrested for violating his parole by possessing a loaded gun outside of his Harlem apartment building – a case which is still pending – and was released after posting a $100,000 bail.”

America, America, God shed his grace on thee. What other country produces killers like this, able to post $100,000 bail! Even our subway shooters are rich here!

Plus America gave him all the guns he could hope to use to murder a wonderful man just trying to get across town to meet his brother for lunch.

But none of this would be possible without rapid parole and bail for people who shouldn’t get bail and an unsecured public transit system. You need all the elements to be in place. New York, New York! If Abdullah can make it there, he can make it anywhere.

“Coach Fisher views this as a personal attack on his integrity and on Texas A&M’s integrity.”

Don’t never get tired, ’round these blog-parts, of reading and writing about university football.

Take Texas A&M, jest about the filthiest jock shop in America. Up in that there headline its athletic director is ahuffin and apuffin cuz filthy U Bama coach Nick Saban said tother day Texas A&M was (lawdy!) corrupt. How dare he! We is going to the filthy SEC and making a formal complaint because I never!


Saban also badmouthed filthy Jackson State, and their coach (he’s the highest paid person on campus and doesn’t know that the past tense of pay is paid) is also on fire with righteous indignation…

But hold on. Let’s avert our eyes from this latest dust-up and look hard at the home of Jackson State University, cuz that’s where the big news story is, only no one gives a shit about some obscure state capital shooting itself to death.

Did you know that Jackson Miss has the highest gun homicide rate in the entire nation?

In gunny America, that ain’t no story. It’s gotten virtually no coverage. But ol’ UD thinks it a better use of your time to consider why Jackson is shooting itself to death than to follow the mutual insults of a couple of rich old hicks.


Not that it’s all that mysterious how Jackson got there. First, lose most of your cops and make it impossible for the ones left to mess with anyone holding a gun. Make sure your court system is backed up to the point of paralysis, and headed by judges who don’t put people away. Encourage absolutely everyone to open carry the most astoundingly powerful weaponry.

Your state has America’s weakest gun laws and – how bout that – its highest gun death rate!

Reduce your civic life to total gun culture, so that even thirteen year olds carry and kill. You start at thirteen, and even if you’re caught you don’t go to jail. Many years of carnage lie ahead of you. Even if you get blown away by, say, 23, that’s still ten years of killing in the streets of Jackson.


Why wouldn’t you send your kid to Jackson State?

‘[T]he United States makes it easy for domestic terrorists to kill. The police said that the [demented] Buffalo assailant used a Bushmaster XM-15 rifle that he had purchased legally at a gun shop near his hometown. As a practical matter, almost anyone can buy guns that are designed to kill a lot of people quickly.’


Bathing in Blood

We cannot control ideas or speech and should not attempt to do so even if we could. But we could reduce access to the weaponry that converts ideology into atrocity. At least, other advanced countries find themselves able to do so. Almost every country on Earth has citizens filled with vitriol, but no comparably advanced country has a gun-violence epidemic quite like America’s…

[T]he American exception that bathes this country in blood and grief again and again and again is not that we are uniquely susceptible to racism or jihadism or veganism. The American exception is the unique ease of access to weapons.

…Americans die by the gun in such terrible numbers because Americans live by the gun with such reckless disregard.

Not only…

that, but the Pennsylvania Republican slate can also purchase guns.

Overtime Action, Bucks Celtics Game!

Scroll down for all the footage!


“This should be a bigger story.”

But the Buffalo supermarket massacre -18 year old; semi-automatic – just wiped it off the map!

“‘Damn, look at him, a young boy,’ [an] onlooker … comments on one of the bodies.”

Why was there a loaded gun in a suicidally depressed woman’s bedroom?

You won’t begin to understand America until you understand why no one commenting on Naomi Judd’s suicide has asked that question. No one will ask that question, which goes to levels of responsibility for locking guns away from critically self-destructive people.

Some people might say it’s madness to have a houseful of loaded guns around someone who has made it screamingly clear that she wants to die. But those people wouldn’t be Americans.

Straight Outta Don DeLillo

Kings Pointer Robert Levine, 74, fired five shots at an unfamiliar fellow condo resident, Herbert Merritt, 64, while he was walking his dog near the 15th hole of the golf course at Kings Point early one evening last month, according to the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office.

Levine, driving a golf cart, pulled up to Merritt, and confronted him about walking his dog too close to the golf course, according to the arrest report.

The verbal confrontation took a potentially life-and-death turn when Levine pointed a handgun at Merritt, who then ran, as Levine pursued him around a tree in the cart while shooting at the fleeing dog owner, the arrest report said.

One of the shots hit Merritt in the left ankle, wounding him and dropping him to the ground. Levine wasn’t done, according to the report. An eyewitness told deputies that the golfer kicked Merritt in the head, then went to golf cart, pulled out a club and began hitting the fallen dog owner with a club, while still holding the handgun in his other hand.’

‘[T]he use of guns in political ads is “growing,” and … by 2024 Republicans are going to be blowing stuff up.’

An expert notes the firestorm of Republican ads featuring more and more desperate firearm brandishing.

UD gets this guy’s point that by 2024 guns in ads will be so routine that candidates will be blowing up Planned Parenthood offices to demonstrate their fervency.

But what about after that? What happens when not only guns are a snooze, but bombings elicit a shrug?

UD anticipates that, by 2028 or so, self-immolation will be the only way MAGA fanatics will be able to attract our attention.

Ever since a team called the Baltimore BULLETS…

… decided that name wasn’t quite … appropriate … or … haha… decided it was too appropriate… there’s been a dynamic linguistic reappraisal going on in the sports world generally.

For instance, now that Little Leaguers all over the country have been dropping and rolling on the field as bullets fly, we’re beginning to revisit some baseball slang that, if used, could cause pandemonium.

Words and phrases currently being assessed include:

bang-bang play


dead red


five-tool player


moon shot


twin killing


base hit

hit and run



Shocked, shocked to find that illegal use is going on in here.

Over the past decade, more than 1,000 crime guns have been traced to Firing Line Inc., a gun store in South Philadelphia that federal inspectors have cited for failing to stop straw purchases, losing track of weapons, refusing to run timely background checks and a lack of reporting on suspicious buyers.

In 2017, after several warnings, A.T.F. officials concluded that the owner “failed to maintain accurate information,” but they allowed the shop to remain in business, in part, because inspectors must prove intent to shutter a licensed dealer. Since then, 399 new crime guns have been traced to the location, according to Brady.

The great American pastime, handed down generation after generation.

Bullet-riddled baseball is a uniquely American rite of passage, from the big boys of Congress to the Little Leaguers.

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