January 28th, 2023
Beverly Crest! O Beverly Crest!

Incessant mass shooting

Is what we do best!

In 2020 we only killed one

2023’s already much more fun.

January 28th, 2023
Oh, What a Lovely War!

Twas on the Crest of Beverly

The battle did commence

Among elite Air B&Bs

Each sparing no expense.

The glistening car, late model!

The air perfumed, and gated!

The party. Scattered bottles.

Late model guns, gold-plated.


The kick of upscale killing

On cool Pacific nights

Shall ne’er grow old – too thrilling

To aim Sig Sauer sights.

To watch the brain and vomit

Start pooling ’round your head

While a fine and rare green comet

Goes streaking overhead.

January 26th, 2023
We’ve followed the JR-15 gun, an AR-15 downsized for toddlers-to-six-year-olds, for some time on this blog.

Here’s a primer on it. The Newport News six year old who almost killed his elementary school teacher last week failed in his mission simply because he had to use some random pistol his parents had lying around the house for him. It’s true that his teacher’s mental health has been permanently shattered; plus since surgeons had to leave the slug in her, the student has the satisfaction of having left a permanent souvenir inside his teacher’s body. But killing her – and everyone else in the room, like the better-equipped boys at Columbine – eluded him because of his primitive weaponry. The JR-15 is the solution to all of these problems.

But the deep state can’t keep its hands off of the gun. Big news conference today where demo-rats called the gun disgusting and sick and grotesque and unconscionable blahblah. Blahblahblah.

January 25th, 2023
Stupid Pet Tricks



UD thanks David.

January 25th, 2023
Ever see one of those furtively filmed documentaries about North Korea?

They leave you shaken; the graphic terror on the faces of the tour guides, and even more so on the faces of ordinary citizens who somehow fail to get out of the way of the tourists and are forced to interact with them… Reading accounts of daily life in Richneck Elementary School under Superintendent George Parker, I thought of North Korea.

Read today’s accounts of terrified weeping children, frightened teachers desperately texting family members, staff people trying to get out of the way of a psychotic armed child, and see if you don’t think of some surrealistically horrifying police state full of traumatized, trampled, people.

January 25th, 2023
Out of “little pockets” come big lawsuits.

His parents belong in jail, and let’s hope that’s where they’ll go, in the same cell with these creeps.

But as for lawsuits!!!

[S]chool leaders were warned three times that the boy might have a gun, … including by a student who tearfully recounted seeing the gun at recess.

[A] series of escalating warnings [occurred] on Jan. 6, when the police say a 6-year-old boy took his mother’s gun from home, brought it to Richneck Elementary School and fired at his teacher…

By about 12:30 p.m. on the day of the shooting, a teacher had searched the boy’s backpack, believing that he might have a gun … No gun was found, but the teacher reported to the school administration that she believed the boy had put the gun in his pocket before going outside for recess. 

Instead of searching the boy, …an administrator dismissed the threat, saying that the 6-year-old “has little pockets.”

Around 1 p.m. — an hour before the shooting — another teacher reported that a student had come to the teacher crying, saying that the boy had shown him the gun at recess and threatened to shoot the student if he told anyone…

A third teacher also asked for permission to search the boy, … but was told to wait, because the school day was almost over.

Hell, I’m up for a beer in half an hour, give it a break!

January 25th, 2023
‘Much of the anger was directed at [the Newport News Public Schools Superintendent], who was also criticized after two earlier school shootings in Newport News in a little over a year.’

Oh, so now just because there’s been a third school shooting, you’re gonna throw him out?

On Tuesday, the Newport News School Board posted an agenda for a special meeting on Wednesday, saying it will vote on a separation agreement and severance package for Superintendent George Parker III. 

It’s not his fault the third shooter was six years old! That sort of thing gets global attention. The last two were teenagers, and that’s so routine it never makes much of a mark. If he’d been able to isolate the bloodbath to junior high and high school all would have been well. Give the guy a break and hope the killing goes back where it belongs – to the upper grades, among more mature and competent marksmen.


Meanwhile, if they do fire the dude, he’ll get an enormous severance for keeping his trap shut about all the other violent and nonviolent scandals in the school system; plus, there are TONS of public school abattoirs (start with the Baton Rouge public schools!) where Parker’s bloody ways will fit right in. Don’t worry about Parker. Wave of the bloody future.

January 23rd, 2023
‘It’s essentially telling me that people have to keep dying in order for this place to shut down,” [Pooja] Gandhi said. “People have to keep getting shot, there have to be more people dead, for this place to get shut down.’

Well, when you’re Chicago, you have the nation’s highest kill-rate to maintain. Shutting down hookah bars, which guarantee several mass shootings a year, is not something you’re going to do lightly. Whatever the silly neighbors say.

January 22nd, 2023
Hyuk! We done kept it in his mama’s closet…

… and ain’t that enough?

Hyuk! Guess not.

Well, for sure we’re prayin’ for the teacher he shot… Thoughts and prayers…

January 22nd, 2023

But this one’s like why hasn’t a mass shooting already happened forty times in that lounge. I mean, maybe it has, but locals are still pretending to be shocked at the mass shooting at another hookah bar down south.

As you know if you read this blog, there’s nothing more banal of late than mass shootings inside hookah bars in southern cities. And this one happened in Baton Rouge, and man I mean ROUGE like flowing all red in the streets!

Apparently there’s a grassroots movement down there to change the city’s name to SANG ROUGE. Better fit.

 Louisiana’s capital city [has made] it big in the world of crime and murder. Baton Rouge has outdone the rest of the state, which is [itself] 40 percent more violent than the nation as a whole. New Orleans is more popular, so Baton Rouge seized the opportunity to top the violent crime list. Baton Rouge isn’t a very large city, but it manages to attract attention by having 49 murders annually. If you have a death wish, it’s a great destination.

A few details here. Some locals – a few – feel kinda bad about the “lack of effort by the state government to address gun violence,” but baby baby baby that’s cuz they love their guns and they love it when they get a chance to shoot ’em off! Hookah bars concentrate large numbers of incapacitated victims in easily accessible, charismatic, locations, and, you know, take any random Saturday night and conditions are RIPE.

Given that everyone knows shooting’s gonna happen – note that Dior’s advertising stresses the word “safely” — wonder why – why does it… well… keep happening?

Look more closely at what Dior offers: Incredibly cheap booze. A dark chaotic place to whip out your guns and get some real killing off before someone notices. Rooms packed with idjits from LSU, one of America’s most violent and stupid locations.

Bloodbath keeps happening because Bloodbath is the state sport of Louisiana, and everything the state does — from basically zero gun restrictions to the proliferation of hookah bars – promotes the sport.

Shut down the bars? Are you fucking nuts? Death’s a way of life down there. UD‘s had enough of inauthentic local pols getting all ‘senselesstragic.…’ … I mean, being all negative about it. Millions of Americans adore violence and go out of their way to legalize, mainstream, and personally experience it. Bloody, almost dead, and dead people scattered everywhere is Sang Rouge’s effing calling card, it’s their Graceland, their Machu Picchu, their one reliable tourist destination. Find a violent psycho like Jim Jordan to run the city – someone who revels in blood – and GO TO IT.

Remember White Noise, the most important American novel of the last fifty years:

“Look past the violence. There is a wonderful brimming spirit of innocence and fun.”

January 21st, 2023
Let us now try, two weeks after a six year old shot his teacher in the chest and almost killed her, to put together what we know about this event.


  1. Neighbors and the rest of us are not allowed to know who the would-be killer is. Police refuse to release his name. Or the names of his parents. So a lot of people remain at risk. Why are the police doing this?
  2. The school claims someone there checked the child’s backpack the morning he almost killed his teacher but they found no gun. They checked the backpack because the child is a known psychotic about whom teachers have been desperately complaining for a long time. A six year old’s backpack is very small. How do you open such a backpack and find no gun?
  3. The child is so sick that an arrangement had apparently been worked out that every day he’s in school one of his parents will be physically with him at all times. Can this be true? If so, did one of the parents hand him the gun? As, you know, a form of therapy? Now hon here’s a gun I want you to show me that I can trust you with it…
  4. Teachers and parents describe an endemically violent school system in Newport News Virginia. They say principals and the superintendent don’t care, and in fact care only about maintaining their enrollment numbers, which would decrease if they removed all the students carrying guns and trying to kill everyone.
  5. Where is the massacrist-to-be? Back in class? Tracking a six year old killer would seem a good thing to do, but we’re not allowed to know where he is.
  6. Why haven’t charges been filed against the parents? They let the kid have a loaded gun, and judging by his marksmanship they’ve been letting that happen quite a lot. Doesn’t America have laws against that?

January 21st, 2023
‘The teacher who police say was shot by a 6-year-old student had repeatedly asked administrators for help with the boy. But officials downplayed warnings about his behavior from her and other educators, including dismissing his threat to light a teacher on fire and watch her die…’

As I point out in this earlier post, America is a violent country not so much because particular individuals are violent; America is a violent country because the people in charge of our institutions – superintendents, school boards – are violent. From Donald Trump down, many of the people who run our country – details here – are themselves lovers of, champions of, violence. What a great and satisfying moment for school administrators in this case when the little massacrist finally did what he kept telling everyone he’d do! Will you look at that! Wow! That excites me right between the legs. Encore.


January 19th, 2023
When people say ‘America is a violent country,’ what do they mean, really?

They don’t really mean we have psychotics who mass murder. We do indeed have these; but other countries do too. UD thinks that what distinguishes the United States is that we have violent people running many of our institutions. We have violent local governments; we have violent school boards.

Let’s not talk about our obscenely violent last president and his barbarians. That’s too easy. Let’s move further down.

Very few countries on earth produce people like Chesa Boudin.

Very few produce people like George Parker, a school superintendent who packs his schools with kiddie psychopaths.

Sure, when six year olds take out their loaded guns in class and expertly shoot their teachers in the chest, George figures he’s gonna have to handle a certain amount of incoming. Like Boudin, he will explain – but not in so many words! – to parents and teachers and kids that some population is going to have to be the sacrificial location where okay a few parents and teachers and kids will be killed but it’s in the service of helping the unfortunate among us and I mean did you know that very few homeless schizophrenics (see Boudin) and psychotic six year olds who live in houses with unsecured guns are homicidal? RELAX. I mean, do the numbers. It’s not gonna happen every day that these people attack your children and their teachers. Y’all are probably gonna be okay. And even if they do attack …

During a three-hour school board meeting dedicated solely to public comment, Newport News teachers and parents said students who assaulted classmates and staff were routinely allowed to stay in the classroom with few consequences. They said the shooting of Abigail Zwerner could have been prevented if not for a toxic environment in which teachers’ concerns are systemically ignored.

“Every day in every one of our schools, teachers, students and other staff members are being hurt,” high school librarian Nicole Cooke told the board. “Every day, they’re hit. They’re bitten. They’re beaten. And they’re allowed to stay so that our [enrollment] numbers look good.”

They’re running some of our schools and local governments. In response, “Many parents are propelled into politics through service on school boards after seeing the [violent] state of their kids’ schools.”

Letting dangerous people deteriorate on the streets and in our schools is not a policy. It’s a nihilism, a degeneracy. A mental violence. You either replace these people and these structures or you run as far away as possible.


The choices our government makes affect our kids, taxes, schools, roads and lives. They are in the hands of the people we elect — but who we pick is constrained by those willing to run. Our democracy is dodging bullets [released by threatening, violent, gun-obsessed people running in and winning American elections]. We will not be able to do so forever.


January 16th, 2023
‘There’s an emptiness to them. I don’t want to get too pompous about it but I think that emptiness does reflect the emptiness of this world we’ve created in which people are slaughtered with so little effect on the life of the country. We all get upset, we all complain, and yet things stay the same.’

Paul Auster describes the photographs – showing the sites of many mass killings in America – in his book, Bloodbath America.

January 16th, 2023
‘Crimson Tide assistant Bryan Hodgson was his primary recruiter…’

Take a bow, Bryan! You really know how to pick ’em! Darius Miles is so hot he’s got the whole campus running to get out of his way!

Look at those Alabama students run!

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