May 29th, 2023
 “We’ve had some terrible times with alcohol at this event, but nothing like this… ” [Swagerty] confirmed there had been motorcycle crashes and DWI arrests in the past due to the amount of alcohol consumed at the Memorial Day event. Asked whether the rally should be allowed to continue, Swagerty said, “Well, we’ve always thought of it as a positive, but it’s not a good day right now. It’s been a great economic boon, but it’s pretty bad right now.”

Local Red River NM pol Craig Swagerty is being too modest. His town’s annual biker rally has long also featured drug arrests (everyone knows about biker gangs and the drug business), fights, property damage, weapons charges, and forced temporary migration/home detention of scared locals …

But, you know… Red River folk consider tens of thousands of fucked up armed bikers packed onto their streets for days as a positive, and they keep welcoming back the boys — and the boys bring their kids, too, so this year the little ones got to be part of the hysterical stampede of people trying to get out of the way of bullets. (“I’ve never seen anything like this,” said another resident. “I was told not to go out [as soon as the rally began] and so I was staying at a friend’s house. It honestly sounded like a whole clip was unloaded. It was a lot of gunshots at once.”)


So now everyone’s talking about this year’s blowout – the bloodbath is all over the national and international news and I mean Craig whodathunkit?? Who could have foreseen that 28,000 drunk assholes carrying 40,000 weapons would shoot some of them off? What’s America coming to?


In these Great Carnage days, you’d think a few people would look at and think about the lowest hanging fruit, the locations where mass shooting is practically guaranteed. Apart from the obvious – urban drug turf – UD will now helpfully single out two places guaranteed to generate routine atrocity:

  1. Hookah lounges
  2. Biker rallies

There are plenty of other places you, like the Red River resident smart enough to get the hell out of the way of the rally even before it started, definitely ought to avoid if you dislike open air gun battle. The boardwalk in Myrtle Beach or Ocean City MD… Public high schools in Glocksucker states… etc etc etc yada yada yada. I mean, do you read the news at all? Ain’t it kind of obvious?

NOT that UD‘s offering even a whiff of a suggestion that guns should be restricted or you should have check points in locations guaranteed to kill people repeatedly! Perish the thought that you and your family shouldn’t be free to perish at the hands of a drunk, high POS with a Glock! NOOOOO. I’m only saying we should designate these places, with big easy to read signs, Most Likely to Murder, so people can choose to stay away, or, as some folks in places like Myrtle Beach and Red River do, leave town until event season is over. Rather than the town of Red River promoting bike rallies on its tourism website and promising fun for the whole family (current town policy), you’d have the mayor say something like this (she made the comment to the Taos newspaper — Taos: the classy town, forty miles away from trashy Red River, that along with everyplace else anywhere near Red River went into lockdown right after the shooting):

“Everybody needs to understand that this really isn’t an event that we promote. There’s not really an event sponsor; it’s not a town-sponsored event. It’s something that occurs every year. It’s an event that’s grown and happens and we do our best to manage it.”

Course they do promote it. It’s right there on their website… Oh wait! Someone done taken it down!

Not only that, but lookee here what sober rule-bound Red River’s doing now!

“For everyone, there will be zero tolerance from this point forward,” [the local police captain] said at a [post-massacre] news conference. “That is traffic violations for 1 mile an hour over, seat belts, jaywalking. We are going to stop and talk to everyone if they violate any law — traffic or criminal.”

Look sharp, lad! From now on we fuckin promise it’s gonna be Pyongyang around here! And cut your hair!

May 28th, 2023
‘Here are the 10 states with the lowest average IQ:

  1. New Mexico – 95.0′

UD‘s been blogging about NM for years and ain’t surprised it came out on top on this and on other intelligence measures; but it’s always good to be able to point to evidence, and the recent decision to stage a huge public rally among warring biker factions will do nicely.

The mayor of Red River is shocked at the mass shooting (three dead so far, several injured) that ensued, cuz you’d NEVER expect fine folk like these to have gotten drunk at Red River’s seven trillion bars and to have used their big big big guns to kill each other. Unprecedented!

How could such a thing have happened? Bikers were supposed to be at “a live music event by Warning Shot” (not making this up) but instead just blew past the whole warning thing and started killing each other. Coulda knocked the mayor and tourism director over with a feather: 25,000 armed bikers that hate each other! And now you tell me this didn’t bode well. Hidesight is 50/50 dude!!!!

May 23rd, 2023
Finally, a real alternative to ‘Thoughts and Prayers’

Newly released Uvalde footage shows police “vomiting and sobbing” after entering the abattoir.

Everyone’s tired of “thoughts and prayers,” but no alternative has emerged. Until now. Sobs and Vomits.

May 22nd, 2023
Galveston County’s 2023 Jeep Festival: A FANTASTIC success!
  1. No mass shootings.
  2. 230 arrests.
  3. Hundreds of injuries.
  5. Thousands of drunks puking in the ocean, revving their engines, playing screamingly loud music, injuring themselves and each other, endangering an army of police, frightening and disgusting the locals.
May 20th, 2023
‘There is no scenario in which some maladjusted creep who’s frightening children at an elementary school bus stop [by openly carrying an AR 15] should be presented as just some guy with political opinions by the local news. This is antisocial behavior that should be ridiculed, including by normal people who own guns.’

‘That this kind of weapon is a favorite of school shooters, and these are schoolchildren, only adds to the disgusting character of the events here. Carrying a gun like this in the public square is a way to constantly communicate the threat of deadly force to those around you. A gun like this exists for two purposes: to maim and kill, and to communicate the threat thereof…

 [R]ight-wingers [routinely] show up heavily armed to statehouses in an explicit communication of the threat of deadly force if they do not get their way on matters of public policy. This is not normal political expression…’

This happened in Severn, Maryland, not far from UD‘s ‘thesda.

May 19th, 2023
Tennessee Proud!

 ‘From 2011 to 2020, people [dying] at the hands of firearms in Tennessee increased by 48%.’

May 16th, 2023
Fairy tales can come true! It can happen to you!

[Sing it.]

If you’re young and armed.

For it’s hard with your skills

To resist random kills
If you’re young and armed
You can go to extremes
With big massacre schemes

You can laugh when your dead
Have a hole for their head
And life gets more exciting
With each passing day
And hate is either in your heart

Or on it’s way
Don’t you know that it’s worth
Every treasure on earth
To be young and armed
For as rich as you are
It’s much better by far
To be young and armed

And if you should survive to 105
Look at all you’ll destroy
You adorable boy
And here is the best part
You’ve had a head start
If you are among the very
Young and armed

May 12th, 2023
‘Grand Rapids Public Schools announced Wednesday it is banning backpacks after a loaded handgun was discovered in a third-grader’s bag – the fourth confiscation of a handgun from a student this academic year.’

An eight year old with a loaded handgun. Big deal. The six year old in Newport News didn’t just smuggle in a loaded handgun — he shot his teacher with it! Maybe Grand Rapids is eyeing the forty million dollar lawsuit she’s filed against the N.N. school district; maybe Grand Rapids figures if it’s caught four handguns it’s almost certainly failed to catch another twenty or so.

Whatever. It has made the right call by banning backpacks: As UD has been saying, our public schools are currently living in a fool’s paradise, and until they look like armed camps they’re asking for a bloodbath. Guns are all over the schools; and of course they’re all over the schools’ surrounding communities. Inside and out, everyone’s a target, and as the wee Nashville massacrist demonstrated (using the same technique as the wee Sandy Hook guy), all you have to do is shoot out windows to get into a locked building. Which means the schools might want to take a look, first of all, at their windows. The safest schools won’t have windows at all (don’t laugh: did you think we’d see the end of backpacks?) but will look like the medieval fortresses they now need to be. Adding to the pre-modern feel will be a general arming of teachers and administrators, all of whom will now be able to solve work squabbles via shootouts.

And you know what? We’re going to see a large rise in home schooling — motivated not by any particular ideology, but simply by a desire to see your kid not be eviscerated by an AR-15. I mean, broadly speaking, the saturation of public life by guns means the end of public life – public schools, public shopping malls, public libraries – too dangerous. America is already overrun by gated communities with extensive private security. Get ready to see much, much more of that.

May 10th, 2023
Pity the Newport News parents who can’t afford private school.

 “He’s off the wall. Doesn’t sit still, ever,” says the mother of the violent six-year-old who routinely beat up his fellow public school students and, as a special treat, took out the gun his mother had left lying around and shot his teacher because “he felt like he was being ignored.”

UD trusts that those parents who can are removing their kids from a system run by idiots. As for the others – tell your kid to keep her head down. And pray.

May 3rd, 2023
Today’s Mass Murder Travelogue…

… takes us to the bustling, dynamic, city of Atlanta, Georgia, where a few hours ago a guy walked into a Midtown building and mowed down several people.

He remains at large; only one of his targets has died so far, but UD assumes others will succumb to their wounds.

April 30th, 2023
Mass Murder Travelogue

Did you know that Bay St Louis, site of today’s mass murder, is a charming Gulf Coast destination, and the birthplace of noted historian/plagiarist Stephen Ambrose? Voted Best Place to Live in Mississippi, BSL has also got berserk, bullet-spraying, teenagers. They own all kindsa guns, they know how to use ’em, and they like to kill lotsa people. Y’all come down now, y’hear? We got the “friendliest gun laws in the nation.”

MMT, a new way to travel the highways and byways of our amazing country. Stay tuned!

April 29th, 2023
“You want to know what comes between me and my Armalites?”



UD will be updating this story throughout the day.


UPDATE #1: 11:22 AM

The suspect, Francisco Oropeza, remains on the run.

He is rumored to have joined the so-called AR-Gang (the name is a takeoff on Our Gang), a large underground group of people all of whom are on the run from having recently killed at least five people with their AR-15s. The core membership is made up of mass murderers, but membership is open to any AR-15 owner who wants to meet with other AR-15 enthusiasts.

UPDATE #2: 11:29 AM

The NRA has issued a statement:

We are appalled but not surprised at the wokeism that would persistently harass a lawful owner of a firearm as he practices firing his weapon. Any family that would try to take away our guns needs some basic lessons in the Second Amendment.

As for Mr. Oropeza, the NRA Legal Defense Fund will be providing him a highly regarded Second Amendment attorney to represent him at trial.

April 29th, 2023
‘Eric brings a … “Think Outside the Box” approach to problem solving.’

Failed local Republican candidate Eric Casteel‘s outside the box approach to problem solving focuses primarily on pulling guns on Republicans on the Allegheny PA county council when he doesn’t like the way a vote’s going. But he only threatens Republicans with his gun; let’s see what he does, next council meeting, or whenever they annoy him, to Democrats.

I mean, he’s being held without bond on terroristic whatever plus other shit right now, but when he gets out, locked and loaded and looking like this (scroll down for a portrait of our country’s compleat contemporary statesman), watch out, Libs!!!

April 16th, 2023
Dadeville, ever after to be known as Deadville…

… shows that we’ve moved from late night sketchy gunfight locations (hookah bars) to wholesome kids’ dance class locations. Look at the Facebook page for this once-wonderful, now utterly bloodied, place.


Four dead, many injured, most in their teens. UD‘s gonna go ahead and guess that what got the fight going was the same old shit – two guys arguing over a girl. But now, along with fists, lots of kids have got a gun.

And it was so innocent a place – a dance studio for kids – that I’m sure no one thought they’d need to pat people down for weapons.

Yet surely they knew that everyone in this story lives (died) in the seventh most gun-friendly state in America. Guns per capita: 33.15. Look at this list! Do people in Alabama look at these lists??

Not to be mean, but what the fuck sort of thing do people think is going to happen.


Keenan Cooper, the DJ at the party, told WBMA-TV that the party was stopped briefly when attendees heard someone had a gun. He said people with guns were asked to leave, but no one left. 

See how it is? No security. “Asked to leave.” WTF. Alabama has to accept what it is – 33.15 guns per capita – and act accordingly. No place is even a little safe with 33.15 per capita. Get it?

Nope. Deadville’s nihilist mayor says “trying to control guns would prove … futile … .”

April 14th, 2023
GOP asks: Where have all the flowers gone?

A Nashville, Tenn., florist is refusing to serve a Republican National Committee (RNC) fundraiser featuring former President Trump in protest over lack of action on gun control laws… [The shop calls for] other Nashville businesses to refuse money from the RNC “until they begin to make the changes to gun laws that most Americans are calling for. … Our community has just lost seven people, including three young children, to yet another school shooting. At this moment I cannot ignore the work that the RNC has done to create this tragedy and so many others like it… The Republican Party has wasted taxpayer money and precious legislative will on banning drag shows, rather than assault rifles that are being used to murder children in their classrooms.


UPDATE: The GOP responds.

“We already found another place.”

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