The fate of the festival in the land of four hundred and fifty million guns.

Many are the reasons Americans need firearms.

Here’s what that failure looks like on the street.

Lynne Cooke-Case allegedly threatened [her neighbors with a firearm,] saying she would “put (the gun) in the mouth of anyone who got in [her] way.”… Cooke-Case’s dogs [then] killed a neighbor’s chicken and she [started] firing a gun from the road while threatening people… Cooke-Case fired about 20 rounds into the air. According to court documents, Cooke-Case also claimed there were bombs inside her home, and troopers reported a strong odor of gunpowder inside.

Insane people have no trouble getting guns in NH; and here is an example of how they use them.

La Kid was with friends in Adams Morgan. Not for the first time, I texted her with instructions about what streets to avoid in order not to get shot.

… Saturday nights will be SOOOO much less exciting.

They also had a psychotic Nazi teenage son at home who went on to commit a mass shooting.

Vazquez “would not allow officers to confirm if firearms were stored properly.” If they were stored properly, Little Hitler would have trouble getting at them.

After the shooting, the police searched three homes connected with the teenagers and confiscated more than 30 guns from one of them.

In an obscene effort to avoid indictment, the Vazquez parents have released a weepy public statement. It’s incredibly important for the legal system to go after Nazi-enablers.

Florida’s AG disagrees, and he promises a legal attack on a local development that would simply like people not to carry during big public events. Big public events bring out psychotic gunnies, and the people of Beaches Town Center don’t want to be blown away. But Florida will force them to expose themselves to armed fuckheads.

Teenager with an arsenal kills people — and shares his reasons.

And you kept several accessible weapons in the home although you knew your son was suicidal because … ?

Bring charges against the mother.

… but in these few moments of police video, it pours out at you with the pure intensity of a child’s wail.

An assistant principal who ignored repeated warnings about a fucked up student who ended up shooting a teacher goes on trial this week for felony child abuse.

Her attorney in an earlier civil trial said that thing up there in my headline … that thing about how a six year old plugging his teacher is just unthinkable, man… I mean, this is America, land of sensible gun policy…

The assistant principal was found guilty in that case, and she’ll be found guilty in this one. UD doubts she’ll be sent to prison, but I suppose it’s possible.

Looks as though the trial will be televised, so we can all sit back and revisit those thinkable and foreseeable events.

***********

Well, that was quick. The judge just dismissed the charges.

Pulled out his weapon at the local mall during a fight, and has been carrying it – loaded, scratched off serial number – throughout his school day at Walt Whitman High, pride of UD’s ‘thesda. Remember Whitman? UD’s old friend Rita Kosofsky taught literature there for three decades… Has a great academic rep…

But after he’s tried (as an adult) and given probation by the court weenies, he’ll be invited back to Whitman by the school weenies, and the many affluent parents of ‘thesda, realizing little Andre is no doubt one of several heavily armed teenagers at Whitman (which I guess sees itself as too ladidah for metal detectors), will take their kids out of harm’s way and the school’s rep will sink like a stone.

Ever the pioneer, New Jersey will provide a place for gunnies to get tanked up before grabbing multiple firearms and letting fly. This all-in-one, booze + Beretta entertainment model is strikingly southern, as in the famous Murdaugh family in SC, drunk out of their minds many evenings, while hoisting some of their hundreds of guns for wholesome family fun.

The Toms River town council loves the idea and wants naysayers like Mr Mutter to shut the fuck up.

‘[Schools are] taking all the funding that they’re getting and they’re putting in place cameras. Well, that’s great. I mean, now you have a video of this little girl committing this terrible act.”

A Valley Forge High School parent points out that while America lacks any real means to stop school shootings, it at least has the fun of watching them happen.

The speaker seems surprised that an eleven year old almost shot a Milwaukee city inspector to death. The eleven year old was trying to carjack him.