Sentences that Make UD Laugh

[W]here once 56 percent [of Americans] believed the former president could stay alert in the middle of a nuclear emergency, [now] it is 49 percent.

************************

Then again, how many of US would be able to stay alert in the middle of a nuclear emergency? I think most of us would be nodding off.

‘As a fake elector, [Jake] Hoffman was indicted by an Arizona grand jury in April 2024. Despite his indictment for his part in the fake elector scheme, Hoffman was elected as the National Committeeman to the Republican National Committee.’

One of the bootlickingest Trumpists out there just called Arizona Republicans who have decided to vote for Harris whores.

Strange… I thought prostitution was illegal in Arizona. Ignore these whores.

Well… but… YOU didn’t ignore them, Jake. You emblazoned them on X, and now outlets like NPR are reporting on your astonishingly unChristian use of language.

************************

And then there’s the Trump campaign. In response to my Rep. Jamie Raskin’s perfectly reasonable, well-meant, warning to JD Vance to watch himself, given that Trump and his enthusiasts almost hanged his predecessor, the Trump campaign issued an official statement: “Jamie Raskin is a disgusting piece of trash.”

***************************

Or, in the original German, one of America’s highest-profile Jews is Dreckjude.

***************************

Whores. Disgusting trash. This, mes petites, is how you talk when you are very, very desperate.

‘The freedom to work with dignity and prosper, to worship as we choose or not.’

Refreshing. Hillary Clinton addresses thirty percent of our rapidly secularizing nation in her convention speech.

C’mon Evan! You know what to do. Bring back your predecessor, Christian Ziegler! He’ll know how to, haha, fuck over the Democrats!

The Florida Republican Party said polling suggesting former president Donald Trump could lose Florida in 2024 was “extremely alarming.”

Evan Power, the chairman of the Florida GOP, sent out a fundraising email in response to Newsweek’s August 13 report on a poll that suggested Florida was not a guarantee for Trump with the headline: “Donald Trump at Risk of Losing Florida, Poll Suggests.”

*********************************

Jan. 8, 2024:

The Republican Party of Florida ousted its chairman on Monday, more than a month after the police in Sarasota confirmed that he was under criminal investigation for sexual assault.

Headline of the Day

DC City Council Member Who Said Jews Control the Weather Arrested by FBI

He demanded only three percent to hand out contracts, a very low number based on the only career extorter UD has known. Her acquaintance, Asif Ali Zardari, was known as Mr Ten Percent

But, based on FBI recordings of Trayon White, he had plans to expand his field of corruption, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this involved increasing his percentage too. We shall never know.

What we can be pretty sure of is that, under pressure, White will reveal more of the workings of the Jews, which will turn out to involve their having taken over the FBI. I thought it was the Mormons.

‘They’ll see a party that is united, jazzed beyond belief, and on their economic side. And on the other side, they’ll see a tired, tumefied (fancy adjective alert!) old fool lobbing flaccid darts …’

UD first encountered “tumescent” in a poem written by the sister of her high school boyfriend, and EKS used the word in its most common sense to mean an erect penis.

In this excerpt, Michael Tomasky, whose writing I admire, mixes things up a bit too much, offers too generous a helping of figurative language. He uses tumefied correctly, to mean narcissistically swelled up about one’s own greatness. But those of us familiar with this fancy adjective’s provenance are likely to venture toward swollen phallus territory.

Yet just after we start venturing, we’re hit with flaccid, a word, like tumescent, rarely employed non-phallically.

So is Donald Trump impressively tumescent/tumefied, or is he, like at least sixty percent of men his age, tumescent-challenged?

Ain’t none of my business; the point here is that Tomasky’s writing has me thinking about flaccid v. tumescent, and that’s not where he wants my thinking to go.

Sing it.

There’s a grief that can’t be spoken

There’s a pain goes on and on
Empty chairs in Pennsylvania
As DT drones on and on…

...............
From the podium before them
They can see our land reborn
Yet they rise to go home early
They would rather download porn

..............

... The very words that he is speaking
Become 'slur-filled delusions'
On this lonely barricade
At dawn


“Trump: ‘Never been a more dangerous time since the Holocaust’ to be Jewish in US”

Sing it.

Strange dear, but true dear,
The shit you say about Jews, dear,
It makes me scared! cuz I…
Am a Jew about to die!


I must flee to Valencia

[Unless you have dementia]

Oh Don darling why
Do you say I’m gonna die?

Headline of the Day

Trump Warns That if Kamala Harris Wins,

‘Everybody Gets Health Care’

Limerick.

America’s a wasteland, says Vance guru Peter Thiel

I’m boxing up my billions and I’m moving to New Zeal.

Patriots like me believe

If you don’t like the US, leave.

Fuck that ‘Make America Great Again’ spiel.

OUR TEAM WON!!!!

Overcome by emotion, a mother at the Laney/Westside High School football game grabs her child and rolls around the bleachers with glee!

Details here!

********************

Fans CAN’T WAIT to run home and tell their friends all about it!

Oh whoooops. Same school, coupla years ago!

‘I meant what I said and I said what I meant:

New jobs went to migrants a hundred million percent.’

This blog has long noted the close resemblance between Alfred Jarry’s character, Ubu the King, and Donald Trump.

You can read many UD entries exploring Trump-as-Ubu.

But with Trump’s latest comment about the Medal of Honor (“Everyone [who] gets the congressional Medal of Honor, they’re soldiers. They’re either in very bad shape because they’ve been hit so many times by bullets or they’re dead.”), it occurs to UD that Trump is perhaps better understood through the character of Sir Walter Elliot, in Jane Austen’s novel Persuasion.

An appearances-obsessed snob, Elliot doesn’t like the idea of a naval officer renting his house (Elliot’s idiocy and greed have ruined him financially, so he must rent out his house and find someplace cheaper to live), because “it is the same with them all: they are all knocked about, and exposed to every climate, and every weather, till they are not fit to be seen. It is a pity they are not knocked on the head at once…”

**********************

Update: ‘Asinine’ is good.

Update: Rome

The city returns to nature.

“A snake was captured by a seagull and dropped on to a terrace,” he said. “The city has become a proper jungle.”

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Dr. Bernard Carroll, known as the "conscience of psychiatry," contributed to various blogs, including Margaret Soltan's University Diaries, for which he sometimes wrote limericks under the name Adam.
New York Times

George Washington University English professor Margaret Soltan writes a blog called University Diaries, in which she decries the Twilight Zone-ish state our holy land’s institutes of higher ed find themselves in these days.
The Electron Pencil

It’s [UD's] intellectual honesty that makes her blog required reading.
Professor Mondo

There's always something delightful and thought intriguing to be found at Margaret Soltan's no-holds-barred, firebrand tinged blog about university life.
AcademicPub

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truffula, commenting at Historiann

Margaret Soltan at University Diaries blogs superbly and tirelessly about [university sports] corruption.
Dagblog

University Diaries. Hosted by Margaret Soltan, professor of English at George Washington University. Boy is she pissed — mostly about athletics and funding, the usual scandals — but also about distance learning and diploma mills. She likes poems too. And she sings.
Dissent: The Blog

[UD belittles] Mrs. Palin's degree in communications from the University of Idaho...
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Lee Skallerup Bessette, Inside Higher Education

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Many of us bloggers worry that we don’t post enough to keep people’s interest: Margaret Soltan posts every day, and I more or less thought she was the gold standard.
Tenured Radical

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If deity were an elected office, I would quit my job to get her on the ballot.
Notes of a Neophyte