She’s not sure why, but when she has lain abed contemplating all of our great states, she has had a tendency to overlook Missouri.
Thanks to the athletics department at the University of Missouri, however, the state has found a way to worm its way into her consciousness.
How can she forget the YouTube of Mizzou’s football coach trying to recite the alphabet? The salary and incentives the university gives this fantastic representative of the life of the mind? Their quarterback who made a sextuple play? The moving testimonials from MU’s professors about what it’s like to teach there?
No, UD will never forget Missouri again. It has burned itself into her consciousness, and she certainly doesn’t need to hear about Mizzou’s Michael Schumacher in order to jog her memory.
Director of [athletic department] video operations Michael Schumacher spent $7,605.50 [of university money] in a single night at Olympic Garden, a club conveniently located on the Strip that “feature[s] literally hundreds of the world’s most beautiful ladies (known as the Dreamgirls) in a relaxing and spacious setting.” One of those charges included a $2,000 tip on a $4,400 bill. Maybe I don’t understand how strip clubs work, but was Schumacher being extra generous, or is “tip” just how you say “blowjob” on a receipt?
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UD thanks Dave.