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Robert Rochefort, a French, uh…

… Member … of the European Parliament, was innocently masturbating in a store, not far from a couple of young people also in said store.

Le vice-président du MoDem a été interpellé mercredi dans un magasin de bricolage [yes, that’s a “do it yourself” store] de Vélizy-Villacoublay (Yvelines). Il a été surpris par un vigile alors qu’il était en train de se masturber devant deux enfants. Robert Rochefort a reconnu les faits et a expliqué aux policiers avoir “besoin de se masturber” quand il était “en situation de stress”.

The police were called, and Member Rochefort explained to them that he’d (as you see if you read French) had to masturbate that very moment in that very place because he was currently in an unspecified stressful situation.

M. Rochefort, whose areas of concern in the Parliament include “Emission Measurement,” has been asked to step down from his high-ranking party position in France.

Margaret Soltan, September 3, 2016 8:03AM
Posted in: kind of a little weird

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10 Responses to “Robert Rochefort, a French, uh…”

  1. Greg Says:

    The cheese and the subject. Savory and un. A story twice blue.

    And if he has a lot of pull, this Member (of the EU –Ewww) might just get off.

    Sorry. Its just one of those days, waiting as Elvis Costello might say, “waiting for the end of the world — for the orange,flaming asteroid, heading roughly in our direction who will likely miss, but just might hit. Just in case I’m abooout to start my Canadian language tapes.

    These lyrics always crack me up in the last understated line.

    Waiting for the End of the World

    E. Costello (Declan Mc Manus)

    “We were waiting for the end of the world
    Waiting for the end of the world
    Waiting for the end of the world
    Dear Lord, I sincerely hope you’re coming
    ‘Cause you really started something”

  2. Polish Peter Says:

    He must be very handy, since he has chosen the right tool for the job. Was he in the plumbing aisle?

  3. charlie Says:

    Hey man, this thread has gotten outta hand….

  4. Greg Says:

    Yikes, I’m not sure I meant to start this. But I’ll acknowledge it as my fault. I think it was the Rochefort, blue cheese, blue movie pairing. But I am now out on this thread with any apologies due. I will admit to laughing at the other entries, while feeling rejuvenated in the worst way — as a 12 year-old boy again.

  5. Margaret Soltan Says:

    Polish Peter: MAJOR laugh out loud.

    Mr UD and I did spend some time wondering about…. accessories…

  6. Polish Peter Says:

    According to reports, M. Rochefort was in a Castorama store. When I’ve seen these stores in Poland, the name “Castorama” has always amused me, so there must be a joke in there somewhere waiting to get out.

  7. JackOH Says:

    Palme d’Or?

  8. Margaret Soltan Says:

    JackOH: Very good.

  9. adam Says:

    They all knew there was something amiss
    When they saw him emit his own bliss.
    Though the children weren’t fazed,
    And this perp was not tased,
    His good name will be stinking like piss.

  10. charlie Says:

    Greg, it was a question of blue cheese, blue movie and blue balls…..

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