May 17th, 2023
“Drop the dud asap.”

Matthew 19:16-18.

May 15th, 2023
‘Across the industrial Midwest, in former Rust Belt states like Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania that are absolutely essential to the Democrats’ firewall in 2024, there is good news for the party — each of those states is much less religious today than it was just 10 years ago.’

There are 16 counties in the United States with populations of at least two million residents. Eleven of them were less religious in 2020 than they were a decade earlier...

Just saying.

May 11th, 2023
Too stupid even for Florida.

The Florida Senate rejects one of the guv’s hand-picked nominees for New College trustee. Herr Eddie Speir is the architect of A WHOLE NEW WORLD! He has announced his plan to fire THE ENTIRE FACULTY, JA? JA! His main activity once he’s done that will be informing students that Jesus Christ is King and that vaccines and climate change are anti-Christian conspiracies.

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we’re only dreaming

Tomorrow belongs to me!

May 10th, 2023
Democrat talks crats.

“We are still in the fight of our lives to defend American democracy and freedom against the rampaging autocrats, kleptocrats, plutocrats and theocrats … “

Cratwise, UD’s rep, Jamie Raskin, gets it said.

Chacun à son goût, of course, but UD‘d say, crat for crat, theos are the worst.

May 3rd, 2023
’75 of 117 Idaho OB-GYNs recently surveyed by the Idaho Coalition for Safe Reproductive Health Care said they were considering leaving the state. Of those, nearly 100% — 73 of 75 — cited Idaho’s restrictive abortion laws.’

 It’s happening in all the let ’em die states:

[W]omen’s health specialists from states where abortion is criminalized are beginning to relocate to places like Washington state, which has strong abortion rights laws.

 “[W]e are legally unable now,” explains an exiting Idaho doc, “to prevent harm to patients.”

Another: “This isn’t a safe place to practice medicine anymore.”

Not safe. Which has UD thinking along the following lines: With the removal of virtually all gun laws in some of these same states, we begin to see emerging what I guess these states have always wanted: The return of frontier life. Ain’t got no docs out here. Don’t need no docs. You’re on your own.

These same states tend to be, you know, also our big anti-vax states, our big anti-science states (schools should teach creationism, not evolution), our big anti-gay and (Idaho certainly!) our big anti-Jew/anti-black states, our big secession states… Obviously these attitudes aren’t out there everywhere in all of these places, but you can just see many maternal-death-before-abortion legislatures determined to rid their states of anything at all, say, associated with the Enlightenment.

It’s really queer, if I can transfer that term from gay provenance to, uh, the provinces. Radically queer.

April 21st, 2023
Big wheel keep on turnin’ / Proud racist keep on burning / Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ on the river…

East River, that is. Theocratic Israel wants to send a self-proclaimed proud racist over here as consul general. Can’t wait!

April 14th, 2023
‘Jacob’s father, Daniel served time for beating one of his 127 siblings, a half-sister, nearly to death on the ranch where Washakie, the family’s company, stands today. The woman is now featured on the television series Escaping Polygamy.’

If you can read all the way through this without laughing out loud, you’re a better man than I am.

April 12th, 2023
An emergent American cult, which seems to have originated in the town of Virgin, Utah…

… where gun ownership is mandatory, has begun to attract attention from social theorists as well as policy makers due to its sudden, exponential, growth.

The so-called ‘Flakellants’ (pronounced “flak,” not “flake”) derive their identity from the medieval Flagellants, groups of religious fanatics who marched – and march: flagellants continue to exist – through the towns and cities of Europe half naked, scourging themselves bloody with penitential whips in a public, masochistic act of self-mortification.

Contemporary “Flak”ellants – in a behavior reflecting what David French describes as “a form of gun idolatry or gun fetish that treats a gun as a quasi-sacred object” – march semi-nude in public thoroughfares while scourging themselves with guns in the shape of crucifixes.

Last week, a three thousand-strong contingent of Flakellants took to the streets of Provo (for modesty’s sake, women Flakellants wear flak jackets), their numbers increasing as local citizens spontaneously grabbed their own guns, attached heavy ropes to them, and pistol-whipped themselves.

All Flakellant marches end with at least one public suicide as an act of ultimate sacrifice/penitence; these are apparently never planned but rather the result of an overflow of spiritual/gun-bearing fervor. “Of course, it’s a sin,” one of the Provo marchers commented to a reporter covering the event, “but you can’t stop someone determined to bow to the power of the gun. For us, the pouring out of their blood in front of us is a communion as powerful as the Blood of the Lamb. We wet our fingers with this sacred outpouring and mark our foreheads and our gun crosses with it.”

The next Flakellant march (co-sponsored by the Catholic organization Rifle-Scopus Dei) will be in two days, in Salt Lake City, led by Tennessee Representative Andrew Ogles. It is expected to attract at least ten thousand participants.

April 3rd, 2023
Black Veil Blackmail

[A] police officer who came to my workplace [in Tehran], which is a public place – and many women were not wearing hijab there – just asked me for a bribe and went away. So these laws have turned into an income source for the police.

April 2nd, 2023
SOS says: Nice writing.

… Satan carries Jesus onto a high mountain, below which are spread all the kingdoms of the world, and says, “All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.”

In the gospel myth, Christ passes the test. But how many of us mortals would? Some Republicans seem to have made it—Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, Arizona House Speaker Rusty Bowers—but many did not. Consider William Barr, formerly a respected figure who reduced himself to vile toadyism and outright deceit to defend Trump from legal danger; consider Lindsey Graham, formerly, like his late friend John McCain, a figure with a reputation for independence who now crawls in Trump’s wake croaking “my precious”; consider Rudy Giuliani, once presidential timber but last seen by history as Pagliacci, hair dye dripping as he stumbled through a parody of legal argument on behalf of Trump. 

April 1st, 2023
Liberty University – Doctor of Business Administration.  Liberty University – Doctor of Laws.

These seem to be the only two D. Trump honorary degrees that haven’t been revoked; and Trump can rest easy knowing that a school recently run by the Marquis de Jerry Falwell Junior will never do that dastardly deed, even under current circumstances.

March 16th, 2023
‘PENCE IMPLIES TRUMP IS BAD CHRISTIAN’

Thank goodness he only implied it. Wouldn’t want to rush to judgment.

March 9th, 2023
“Do your worst. I’m not intimidated. I won’t back down. My mission is Truth, my God is the Lord Jesus Christ, and my client is the President of the United States.”

Jenna Ellis, election denier, 2020.

Poor Jesus. Screwed again.

March 1st, 2023
UD, who is always on the lookout for signs of cultural advancement among ultraorthodox Jews, is pleased to note that…

… the most recent criminal gang to attract the attention of law enforcement includes a woman. True, her sentence for stealing federal funds meant for underprivileged children, and using them to buy high-end SUVs and Florida condos, will be merely time served, whereas the big boys are getting bigger, man-sized sentences. But they dealt her in, even though she’s a girl! This is where gender equality begins.

February 28th, 2023
‘The political Catholic wants to order the nation and its state to the natural and divine law, the tranquility of order…’

Harvard’s oddest lays out the glorious Cathophate-to-Come.

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