January 15th, 2021
‘[I]f Trump can’t make money luring customers to watch him do the “Lock them up” chant and dance to “Macho Man,” and he can’t do the hard work of launching a lucrative media brand, then he’s back to giving away his rants for free on other peoples’ networks.’

LOLolololololllllloooollll

March 6th, 2020
Sentences that Make UD Laugh

The author of “Integralism in Three Sentences” is a man who, according to the integralists I spoke with, has done more than anyone to revive both the term and the philosophy: Pater Edmund Waldstein, a 35-year-old Cistercian monk who lives in Heiligenkreuz Abbey, a twelfth-century monastery a few miles south of Vienna. The son of two theologians, one American and one Austrian, Pater Edmund was raised in an intellectual Catholic household and educated at California’s Thomas Aquinas College. By any conventional standard, his views are extreme: in addition to rejecting the separation of church and state, he is a monarchist who argues that the Church has the right to punish baptized heretics (Protestants), including by burning them at the stake. Yet he’s gracious and warm …

January 26th, 2020
Sentences that Make UD Laugh

From a portrait of attorney Hanno Berger, one of the masterminds of the $60 billion cum-ex heist, by someone who worked at his firm:

Sensitive types, Dr. Berger told his underlings [one] day, should find other jobs.

“Whoever has a problem with the fact that because of our work there are fewer kindergartens being built,” Dr. Berger reportedly said, “here’s the door.”

**************

A description of the world of cum-ex, German branch:

It was a realm beyond morality, [an insider] said: all male, supremely arrogant, and guided by the conviction that the German state is an enemy and German taxpayers are suckers.

*****************

And wouldn’t you just know it’d be a fuckin fraulein that fucked it all up!

But in 2011, a clerk in the Bonn Federal Central Tax Office, who was interviewed by the German media team and has remained anonymous, came across tax refund applications that looked dubious. They were from a single American pension fund that had bought, then quickly sold, $7 billion in German stock. Now it wanted a tax refund of $60 million. The fund had just one beneficiary.

Instead of paying the refund, the clerk made inquiries. She soon received a peppery letter from a German law firm that threatened to hold her “PERSONALLY” accountable “under criminal, disciplinary and liability law.” The clerk reported all of this to prosecutors, which ultimately led to the trial in Bonn.

October 19th, 2019
Sentences that Make UD Laugh

His plan was to grind up squid sex organs and squirt them into the water to get squids to mate with the camera lens.

July 25th, 2019
Is it just me?

UD cannot read this NYT article without laughing. When she gets to the middle of it —

Mr. Kelty’s solution, a modification of methods used in some earlier studies, involved a 100-centimeter-long ladder (a little over three feet) and bags of weighted pellets gently taped to the rats’ rear ends. The animals received a Froot Loop when they reached the top of the ladder and soon started climbing willingly, even without rewards. After several weeks, the climbers showed increased muscle mass, indicating that the activity was effective weight training.

— she’s practically peeing herself.

July 14th, 2019
‘Nordic Nazis make organic eating a cornerstone of their ideology.’

A sentence that made UD laugh.

January 1st, 2019
“As a teenager, I wanted to be a moral hero, like Christ or Schweitzer, but now I’m aiming for law-abiding.”

From an essay about a philosophy professor.

January 2nd, 2018
Sentences that make UD laugh.

An animal study that I wrote about in July, for instance, found that frail, elderly mice were capable of completing brief spurts of high-intensity running on little treadmills, if the treadmill’s pace were adjusted to each mouse’s individual fitness level.

October 29th, 2017
Even so, the Brits are a few steps behind.

Conservative MP Mark Garnier is to face an investigation into whether he broke ministerial rules after he admitted asking his secretary to buy sex toys.

The international trade minister also confirmed calling her “sugar tits,” according to the Mail on Sunday, but he said it did not amount to harassment.

June 24th, 2017
Sentences that Make UD Laugh

How do I care for a redundant colon at home?

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