Your Morning Giggle

“The only thing I would be impartial about is which prison he goes to,” one [prospective Martin Shkreli] juror said. That person was dismissed — as more than 250 were…

Your Morning Giggle

Great headline. The piece is pretty good too.

Insult Generator.

Highly recommended. UD put her name in and laughed long and loud.

Straight Out of The Onion

The Oxford University Press has warned its writers not to mention pigs, sausages or pork-related words in children’s books, in an apparent bid to avoid offending Jews and Muslims.


Your Daily Giggle

In yet another study, the Berkeley researchers invited a cross section of the population into their lab and marched them through a series of tasks. Upon leaving the laboratory testing room the subjects passed a big jar of candy. The richer the person, the more likely he was to reach in and take candy from the jar — and ignore the big sign on the jar that said the candy was for the children who passed through the department

Your Morning Giggle

Julie Brown, a UO spokeswoman, also notes the list included innocuous and generic items, including SpongeBob SquarePants, mayonnaise and the state of New Jersey.

“Some high-priced attorneys are doing their damnedest to make a judge believe that athletes need to be protected from money, but they’re having an awfully hard time explaining why.”

Your morning giggle.


In addition to the more than 30 student complaints against [Naropa University Professor Don] Matthews filed in the last 18 months, [Naropa President Charles] Lief described the two incidents that led administrators to suspend him for the rest of the semester.

Lief said Matthews informed officials and students that he would not speak for the rest of the semester in his classes until bias was eliminated at Naropa.

“We got significant expressions of concern from students about what that meant about finishing their coursework,” Lief said. “Students who were in courses that were required for their degrees naturally did express some concern.”

If you can follow exactly what it is this guy did wrong…

… you get a prize. But this paragraph is good for your early morning amusement:

In an attempt to find out what disciplinary steps [Frostburg State University] might be taking with [Arthur] Siemann, The Bottom Line asked an administrative assistant at the Cordt’s P.E. center for a comment. We were referred to the Dean of College Education, Dr. Clarence Golden, then the assistant Dean, Dr. Roger S. Dow. Dow declined to make an official statement and referred us to Dr. William P. Childs, Interim Provost, who also declined to comment, but referred us to Elizabeth Medcalf, FSU’s Director of News and Media Services. Medcalf explained that, due to the privacy issues involved, no official statement could be made as to the disciplinary actions taken towards Dr. Siemann. Thus, The Bottom Line is unable to report as to whether Siemann has been put on Administrative Leave with or without pay.


Professor Schrodt Explains.

The political scientist also attributes part of his decision to retire now to Penn State, which he calls “phenomenally weird, following a North Korean governance model without the transparency” and an “authoritarian hellhole.” The Jerry Sandusky case didn’t help, he said.

So last night UD read Mr UD all of these intellectual…


The winner by a mile was this one:

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers see this and agree that it is quite a clever idea so, after the conference, they decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby.

The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”

“It all just came out at the last minute,” said the bride’s 92-year-old grandmother, Josephine DeLuccia. “He always seemed like a nice guy. I don’t know what happened. You men are all alike. You stink. I hope they send him to jail forever.”

I don’t know. Just because it made me laugh out loud.

Just because.

Just because it’s grading period all over America.

Bienfaits de …


Read it for the…


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