June 1st, 2025
Like clockwork, the United States of America has a mass shooting every Saturday night.

It’s almost always an argument at a large private house party, almost always a paid admission party; and as the gunfights proceed, many bloodied screaming people almost always pour out onto the driveway, the yard, the street, and the neighbors’ yards. If there’s a continued exchange of fire (likely), pedestrians and neighbors had also better run.

When (five minutes later) forty police and emergency vehicles race to the location, many groaning dying bullet-riddled bodies greet them. This week’s mass shooting took place in cute l’il Hickory NC, and at least twelve high school students were shot. UD’s gonna guess the killer was a 17 year old guy.

It’s like a battle scene. It’s also like a movie, since reporters have also arrived, and they are watching and filming.

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Since the people who run the towns, cities, and states of this country know with total assurance that jammed late night paid admission house or boat parties, and of course jammed late night sleazy lounges, are prime mass shooting locations, you might wonder why officials don’t shut down/curtail open-all-night sleazy lounges full of local gun-bearing criminals. You might wonder why they don’t respond to neighbors’ complaints about the parties. Why do they wait for the gunfights and the dead bodies? Once they know what houses are being rented out to crazy gunnies, why don’t they shut down their business?

The answer is obvious. Gunlove in America looks the other way when children are massacred by known madmen with guns at our elementary schools; gunlove looks the other way every bloody Saturday night. Remarkably, most Americans really don’t care.

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Multiple shooters; at least eighty shots fired.

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“[W]e don’t believe that this was random in a circumstance that might endanger the community.”

Also like clockwork, local authorities announce that hundreds of people running through your neighborhood, desperately trying to elude multiple AK-bearing shooters, in no way endangers your community.

May 31st, 2025
Remember: Guns are gradually shutting down our capacity to have public events.

Like high school graduations.

May 29th, 2025
‘[A wounded survivor of the party boat mass shooting] said he disagreed with Horry County Police Dept. calling this an “isolated incident” and adding that there was “no risk to the community.’

“To say it’s not a threat to the community is a big reach,” said [Jeremy] Evans.

I mean, on the most literal level, one or more people shooting wildly into crowds is an obvious threat to any local community; and in this latest case the police haven’t arrested anyone, so the threat remains.

And after all shooting is not uncommon in notorious Myrtle Beach and environs, so a general menace remains. UD can understand the comical tendency of local officials everywhere to declare, after big mass shootings/killings, that yay! our community is safe but yeah we keep getting these isolated, totally not dangerous events… but she’s with Jeremy Evans – a spot of honesty would help.

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Update: They’ve made an arrest. A 19 year old.

May 28th, 2025
Been following a lot of ‘Random Man Stands in Random Public Setting and Shoots Everyone’ stories…

… but for you, only the best: A golf course in super-exclusive Jupiter Florida – typical residence along the course – where four golfers were shot at by a guy who lives in one of the residences. They piled into their golf cart to escape. Must have been cursing all the way: Fucking golf cart! Next time I’ll park my Hennessey Venom F5 on this hole!

May 28th, 2025
When the 18 year old pride of Greenville, a football standout at Baylor, gets shot to death while sitting in a car during a visit home, I guess it’s time to act.

Mayor [Errick] Simmons stated, “Over the past several days, our community has been deeply shaken by a surge in violent crimes, including multiple shootings, acts of gun violence, and senseless killings.”

In the same statement, the mayor declared an “immediate State of Emergency.”

The Greenville [Miss.] City Council voted on the curfew. According to the mayor, the curfew will be effective immediately from 9:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. Additionally, nightclubs and other similar businesses must close by midnight.

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Gettin too bumpy with all them guns, and now with this Alex Foster thing bloody Greenville’s all over the national media. Now everyone knows our little town’s a bloodbath. Let’s try something.

Short of doing anything about the guns, of course. It’s Mississippi. “Single worst rate of gun deaths in the country.”

May 27th, 2025
America’s Memorial Day: When we leave behind many fallen to remember.

In Myrtle Beach, in Philadelphia, mass gatherings and rapid gunfire from weapons modified with gun switches guarantee many fellow Americans for us to memorialize.

May 26th, 2025
ANOTHER mass shooting in Myrtle Beach!

Or twenty miles north; I’m figuring the local shooters moved this weekend’s fun away from Murder Beach proper cuz it’s crawling with cops.

This distance from the boardwalk, they were free to shoot eleven people. An impressive number, even by American standards.

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UPDATE: Happened on a party boat! Did people jump into the water? And eleven shot because it’s hard to run away when you’re drunk, high, and on a boat.

Police are searching for “a motive.” Hm, hm, what could it be. Cram a bunch of drunks, several of whom are armed, on a boat. Motive would be, you know, someone pushed someone aside while reeling around trying not to fall over. BANGBANGBANG

ANOTHER UPDATE: When you go to Facebook, you get all kinds of video and commentary. Some say it was an argument. Some say it was a hate crime. Some say some people drowned. We’ll see.

AND ANOTHER: For all the fervid imaginings of Facebookers, it sounds as though our latest mass shooting was exactly what you’d expect: Too many drunk/high assholes packed into a closed space. Someone always seems to get pissed off (or just pissed) and start shooting everybody.

May 24th, 2025
‘“Displaying a weapon in public, especially from a moving vehicle, is an act that creates fear and jeopardizes the safety of our residents,” [Jeffery] Sutherland said.”‘

Summer comes to the Jersey Shore!

May 22nd, 2025
Yet another article in Suicide Central Wyoming which piles cliche upon cliche until it’s a toppling tower of cliches but NEVER ONCE mentions the primary reason the state leads the nation in suicides:

GUNS.

Read this pathetic editorial up down over and out and you’ll never ever encounter even one mild parenthetical reference to all them guns.

May 20th, 2025
‘The move would transfer 1,500 [FBI] employees to various locations across the country.’

Okay well, based on what I’m reading, most of them – a thousand? – should go, sans délai, to Louisiana, by far America’s most dangerous state.

You’re just thinking Nawlins, but Alexandria, Monroe, Baton Rouge, and tons of others are really really dangerous. UD has often wondered aloud on this blog why anyone would send their kid there to college.

May 20th, 2025
‘[I]nvestigators seized operational improvised explosive devices (IEDs), a partially constructed trip-wire IED, two loaded AR-15 style ghost guns, 9mm ghost gun pistols, 9mm 3D-printed ghost gun pistols, more than 600 rounds of ammunition for each of the firearms, body armor, high-capacity ammunition feeding devices, metal knuckles, a radio set to the frequency of the 114th Precinct in Astoria, nine pyrotechnic smoke bombs, a 3D printer and numerous notebooks containing instruction on the manufacture of explosive devices and anarchist related propaganda. A “hit list” with “cops, judges, politicians, celebrities” and “banker scum” scrawled on it was also found in their apartment.’

Banker scum. LOL.

May 19th, 2025
“The Grand Valley community is saddened by Connor’s tragic death.”

And for the umpteenth time I ask you: Tragic? The dean at Grand Valley State says tragic?

Some drunk asshole shot multiple bullets from an upper floor down to a lower floor during a party. The kid killed was at the lower floor and got one of the bullets in his brain.

Note to dean: The proper language for stupid drunken gun deaths is this: “The Grand Valley community is appalled by this senseless death, the sort of death you get when drunk teenagers have easy access to firearms. We’re ashamed to be the school where this happened.”

May 19th, 2025
Finally! A gun that fires without your pulling the trigger!

Take a bow, SIG Sauer.

May 18th, 2025
The Guncase Bar is what you get when you don’t have any zoning.

A typical American abattoir, Showcase (UD came up with a better name) is of course noisy and gunny all night long. AND it seems to sit right in the middle of a residential neighborhood. Does Garfield Heights have any zoning ordinances?

May 17th, 2025
All this, and gunfights on the boardwalk!

Bikers compete in the burn out pit at Suck Bang Blow bar in Murrells Inlet, S.C. during the 2024 Myrtle Beach Spring Rally. Their spinning tires burn rubber often shredding tires and filling the air with smoke, the roar of engines and the cheers from the crowd.

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