… caliber.

Defend the right of insane 23-year-old mass murderers to own Glocks!

Good to know that in Michigan, at least, American parents can throw beer and gun parties for their teenagers and, when one of the kids gets killed, get off scot-free.

Dad swore up and down he “never kept ammunition in the residence and said he didn’t know how a bullet made its way into the home on the night of the fatal shooting” and of course this being America the judge bought it.

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The AMA seems really tired of mopping up all the blood. Though in this case the unlucky issue of just one more American gun nut killed himself with that mysterious bullet instantly, so it was a case for body baggers rather than physicians.

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Message to gunnies about the new mean AMA:

If you disagree with the AMA, you’re welcome to boycott doctors and hospitals. I’m sure YouTube has a video somewhere about how to treat your own gunshot wound.

Kris Kobach, whose official portrait in the state capitol reflects his love of mounting guns, said in an interview today that “Mounting guns is something I do and have done since Pops and I mounted guns together when I was a boy of six.”

Asked to respond to the town of Shawnee’s public apology for having allowed Kobach to take part in its Memorial Day parade mounting a huge gun, Kobach commented: “Guns call out to me to mount them. Mount me… mount me now.”

Around 2 a.m. on May 14, 2017, [16-year-old] Michael T. Dennis shot himself with a .44-caliber Taurus Magnum Raging Bull revolver in the basement of his family home at 9515 N. River Road in Tittabawassee Township, [Michigan]. The property had been the site of a bonfire involving minors and alcohol in the hours preceding Michael’s death.

Police were summoned to the house on receiving reports of a shooting. They found Michael on the basement floor, bleeding from a head wound and with the revolver between his legs. Police found a second gun, a .44-caliber Pietta Colt Army revolver, in a different part of the basement.

The teen’s parents were home at the time of the shooting.

… Four others also faced adult criminal charges, while several minors who were present faced juvenile petitions. David Hubbard, 62, was charged with and later pleaded guilty to furnishing alcohol to minors, receiving a $500 fine.

… Two 17-year-olds faced the same charge as well as counts of minor in possession of alcohol. Connor Brunett, 18, was charged with aiming a firearm at a person without malice and lying to police.

So much fun and no harm done. They’re all drawing itty-bitty misdemeanor charges.

Daddy’s Guns. (Sing it.)

When people ask of me
What would you like to be,
Now that you’re not a kid any more?
I know just what to say,
I answer right away.
There’s just one thing
I’ve been wishing for.

I wanna take Daddy’s guns
I wanna take Daddy’s guns
That’s the most important thing to me.
Cuz when I get Daddy’s guns
When I get Daddy’s guns
I’ll blast the girls who aren’t nice to me.

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Gunny, isn’t it?

Gunny. You’re a land that loves weapons
That’s a peculiar sign
Gunny. You give guns to your children.
Gunny, isn’t it?
Large, and gunny, and mine.

What a remarkable country UD lives in.

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Also great for gramps!

The only part of this story UD doesn’t believe is the part where this guy, shot in the leg by his dog, has his gun safety on.

A person dumb enough to keep his gun on his belly while at home playing with his dog is far too dumb to figure out how a safety works.

Multiply Einstein by millions of Americans and understand how gun daddies are always killing their babies.

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UD thanks dmf.

Even red-as-a-baboon’s-butt Oklahoma won’t let you carry unlicensed.

And then there’s the Fuck the NRA ad everyone’s talking about.

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And about that fuck. There happens to be a perfectly unprotested, completely legitimate charity called Fuck Cancer.

The NRA is a cancer.

We shouldn’t therefore be surprised to hear citizens saying Fuck the NRA. Lots of Americans have been explicitly saying Fuck the NRA for quite some time – long before this congressional candidate said it in his ad. The same red-hot anger that produces Fuck Cancer produces Fuck the NRA. Both kill a lot of people.

I’m sure the NRA’s new gunrunner president can handle Fuck the NRA. It goes with the territory.

Utah has long been one of America’s suicide-friendliest states, and now in just a few short months seven students at a high school there have killed themselves.

Says here parents should lock up their guns! I guess the idea is that if you have simple 100% fatal devices all over every countertop in your house, your moody impulsive fourteen year old might just grab one!

But even if you did go to the trouble of locking up your extensive arsenal, there’s the fact that Utah is also one of America’s friendliest open carry states. UD was there not long ago, and was pretty unnerved to see big ol’ guns bouncing off of people’s jeans while they walked through supermarket parking lots. You figure your moody impulsive fourteen year old might get ideas every day, simply by walking around town. I mean, it’s inspiring.

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The statistics are pretty shocking. If there’s ever a Book of Mormon 2, it would need to feature half of the original group of young missionaries going back to Salt Lake City and blowing their heads off.

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Fascinating comment thread here. Most commenters put the blame on religion. But there’s this:

If you have a teenager and a gun in your house, choose one and get rid of the other.

[H]e was sitting in the student pickup car line waiting for his child to get out of school when he decided to “clear” or unload his firearm. [H]e pointed the gun out the passenger side window and began pulling the slide back on the gun.

Deputies say multiple witnesses reported seeing [him] pointing the gun out the window of the truck.

… Deputies secured an unloaded .40 caliber Glock handgun, two magazines and 27 rounds of ammunition from inside of [the parent’s] truck.

Virginia Tech’s loss may be your school’s gain! The Hokies’ chance for another massacre of students and faculty just ticked down significantly with Yunsong Zhao’s decision not to return there once the court (he hopes) reinstates his visa; but that leaves hundreds of other schools to compete for this assault rifle-wielding, massively ammo-ed up little fella.

The nineteen year old squirt has adorably lawyered up as well, and sued everyone in sight to protect his right to blast your campus to bits.

… heroes, now a professional football player, dealt with a recent defeat of his team by taking out his gun and shooting it in the vicinity of players on the winning team.

Leon Mackey’s explanation – “It was an accident.” – is a real poser. UD looks forward to his attorney making the case that taking your gun out and shooting it in the direction of people with whom you’re fighting is an accident.

Or does he mean it’s an accident that he didn’t kill anybody?

More and more American parents are getting on board the Nancy Lanza Express!

On Aug. 24, 2017, sheriffs deputies in Tazewell County, Illinois took a state-issued card from Reinking that Illinois requires for someone to own a weapon. During a Sunday news conference streamed online, Tazewell County Sheriff Robert M. Huston said [Travis] Reinking volunteered to give up his four weapons.

However, Reinking’s father was present when those deputies came to confiscate the guns, Huston said. The father had a valid state authorization card and asked the police if he could keep the weapons. Deputies gave Reinking’s father the weapons, Huston said.

“He was allowed to do that after he assured deputies he would keep them secure and away from Travis,” Huston said, referring to Reinking’s father.

Huston and Nashville Police Chief Steve Anderson said they believe Reinking’s father returned the weapons to Reinking.

Give your insane child an AR-15 today.

Sing it, l’il fella!

O-ho the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-comin’ down the street
Oh please let it be for me!

And Smith and Wesson sent revolvers: one for me, one you!